I Blame Doris Day

Perspective

2011-04-16T12:36:00.009+01:00

I was travelling on the train on the way up to Aberdeen about 7.40 in the morning and passed through Burntisland station. I hadn't really noticed how dank and depressing it is before (was on the slow train that stops at all the stations before changing at Kirkcaldy) maybe it just suffers from being next to Aberdour station with all the flowers and riot of colour and prettiness; it's just paint peeling brick and it looks dark and gloomy. And there were all these commuters waiting on the Edinburgh train huddled in this damp space looking tired and burdened, maybe anticipating another day at work.

The train slowly drew out of the station and beyond the end of the station overhang the brick enclosure stops replaced by a small wall and behind this an open vista that looks up and out across the expanse of the Firth of Forth, across to the skyline of Edinburgh and the Pentland Hills beyond. It was a beautiful morning, the sky was clear, the estuary sparkling, the scene stunning and, of the whole crowd of commuters standing on the platform that morning even beyond the station brickwall, one person was standing with their back to the track and gazing out across the amazing view. It was the kind of scene that lifts the heart and makes us thankful for all that we notice about us.

In all the haste and the pressures of life and consumption, sometimes I feel out of place, as if there is something that I see that others don't or choose not to. I'm odd - the one person in the crowd looking the other way, lifting my eyes to the hills, feeling the grace of God and being grateful.

Re-phrasing Mother Teresa

2010-10-22T12:29:00.003+01:00

It's been a funny couple of months.

I finished making the Spiritual Exercises at the end of August and it's been hard making the transition into 'life as usual'. I honestly think that last year has been the most significant of my Christian journey (not sure what other word to use but becoming more dissatisfied with the 'journey' word/metaphor) so far and my sense of God and myself has been challenged and deepened in a most profound way. So coming out of that has been an adjustment as I've struggled to find a rhythm in my prayer life which isn't an hour a day for 6 days of the week. This coupled with an absolutely manic pace at work over the last few months (which looks likely to continue until at least the middle of December), a busy church schedule and a couple of months break from my Spiritual Director who was on holiday, has left praying contemplatively a challenge to say the least. It's just difficult to get my head to slow down and my thoughts to be less frenetic.

I'm still trying to make space to pray a couple of times a week but sometimes my head is, frankly, 'mince' as we say in Scotland!

I've been on holiday for a week and have still kept the slightly frantic pace - stuff I had to do - and it's taken me till today to sit in my prayer space and actually feel that I had stilled enough to hear; to receive consciously the presence of God.

I've been thinking for a few weeks about a little phrase I read which just says "learn to pause ... or nothing worthwhile will catch up to you" It's not a spiritual (actually it probably is..) phrase, it's from a stamp I use when making some little art pieces. But this morning as I started my prayer I read this quote from Mother Teresa

"We need to find God and God cannot be found in noise and restlessness. See how nature - trees and flowers and grass - grow in silence. See the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence. The more we we receive in silent prayer - the more we can give in our active life."

Now far be it from me to assert my spiritual insight over Mother Teresa (think I'm well out of my depth there), but as I reflected on this I realised that it made sense to me to re-phrase this slightly;

"We need to allow God to find us and we can't be found by God in noise and restlessness"

This sense that God doesn't struggle in noise and restlessness; I do. I'm the one who needs to learn to pause so that I can become more attentive to God's voice. That is what Sabbath is. At some point - and let's face it it's probably not going to be a Sunday - we need to stop. We need to make ourselves available to be refreshed, to be immersed in the presence and peace that is only found when we stop long enough for God to encounter us.

Isaiah 30.15 says;

"In returning and rest you are saved. In keeping quiet and in confidence is your might."

Psalm 131 says;

"..Instead I have quieted and calmed myself ... like a weaned child is my soul within me"

Great Quote

2010-09-11T12:57:00.003+01:00

This is a quote of a quote but I though it was brilliant. It is written by Scott McKnight about NT Wright's book "Virtue Reborn" or "After you Believe" as it has been titled in the States.

"It deserves to be said: one reason so many people read Tom Wright today is because he can write prose that is flat-out captivating. Like this: in discussing love, Wright says the "English word 'love' is trying to do so many different jobs at the same time that someone really ought to sit down with it and teach it how to delegate." But those early Christians, who found the Greek word agape, "seem to have settled quickly on this word as the best available one, and they then gave it the fresh privilege of carrying a new depth of meaning in which some aspects of its previous career were highlighted and others were set aside." Vintage Wright."

Looks like a good read.

Resurrection

2010-08-12T10:43:00.004+01:00

One year on, I'm almost through making the Ignatian Spiritual Exercises. The final thing will be to reflect on the whole experience; what has moved me? where were the areas of consolation and desolation? what is staying with me? But for the next couple of weeks I am finishing 4th week. Before moving to "4th week" I attempted to blog about some of my "3rd week" reflections. Now almost through 4th week, I've found it interesting and very challenging praying with the resurrection.

I don't know about you but I have found my Christian life, for much of the time, centred on the cross. I'm not saying there is anything particularly bad about that, but over the last few years I have found it really helpful to focus on a more complete picture of Christ, extending out from the cross to encompass the incarnation and over the last year to pray with all aspects of Jesus; his pre-existence as part of the Godhead; as the "Word" through whom all things came into being; his incarnation; his early years; his public ministry; his passion and death. But praying in this resurrection space has been a challenge of a different order.

What does it mean to live beyond the cross, beyond the resurrection, beyond the ascension?

I'll come back to this thought shortly.

Reflection #8

2010-06-19T18:44:00.003+01:00

Jesus is dead

What to feel? Exhaustion, numbness, unreality, unbelief, this is a bad dream I can't wake up from. What did it all mean? What was it all for in the end? Maybe. Maybe if he hadn't been so outspoken, so confrontational. Maybe there was a different way to get his message across? If only. How could he leave us like that. What will we face now? Hope. Did he not say..What did he mean? Hope? Crashing reality. I really saw him die. He really is dead. The soldiers proved it beyond a shadow of doubt.

The women huddled together as the spear pierced him. They know he is dead. They huddle together in their grief. His body is taken down - they can't help it - they go and touch him, his mother touching his cheek as each of them makes themselves unclean. They follow the men who have wrapped the body in cloth. They see the new tomb nearby, never used. They see him laid inside.

They weep and make the journey back to Bethany. Only a short while ago eating a meal together. Reminded that Mary really did anoint him for burial. Waking next day with a sudden realisation. It's all true - it's not a dream. Jesus is dead. Passing the Sabbath together.

Then a great big white screen and peace. Gazing up into the vastness of heaven and a cloth with a body wrapped in it glowing like a transfiguration.

Reflection #7

2010-06-19T17:51:00.004+01:00

My God, My God why have you abandoned me?

He is in agony. Pain radiating through his body. Very difficult to focus on anything but this pain. Locked in the moment, hyper-aware. You can't go anywhere. You can't escape the pain. Caught up in it. All encompassing. Jesus holds onto God by his fingertips. Separated by a gulf of pain from his disciples and friends. He is alone and becomes increasingly aware of this. No-one can go through this with him. His whole focus is on the agony, alone in his suffering. He tries to hold onto God. Tries to fight the thoughts closing in on him. Tries to stay focused outwards. Darkness falls. Three hours struggling. His head drooping forward. Turmoil inside.

He loves his enemies. His righteousness exceeds that of the Scribes and Pharisees. He is rich and became poor. He offers his other cheek to be slapped. He forgives those who sin against him. He serves one master. He goes a second mile. He is pure in heart, only willing one thing - to do the will of the Father. He faces down evil with incredible costly love.

He hangs there in the face of indifference. He experiences everything but the one thing which is at the extreme of human experience. To be abandoned by God.

At 3 o' clock Jesus cries out in a loud voice - Why? Why? Why Abandoned?

God "in extremis". God hangs there in the face of evil, hypocrisy, indifference and everything wrong in the whole of creation. He also hangs there in the face of losing God. God abandoned by God.

It's a place beyond our comprehension. The moment when Jesus comes to the end of all he is. He is beyond. Off the map.

I don't know how the Trinity worked while Jesus was human, but in this place, Jesus feels himself utterly alone. A being who has lived in community all of his eternal existence. Abandoned. The community of the Godhead totally disrupted, Father and Spirit.

Did he need to go that extreme? It feels to me like he did. He needed to experience this ultimate place beyond God. And I am struck again by his love even in the face of complete mystery and unknowing.

Jesus shouted out again and released his spirit.

Reflection #6

2010-06-19T17:40:00.002+01:00

They sat around

That's the verse that really got me.

"They gambled for his clothes by throwing dice, then they sat around and kept guard as he hung there."

It's hard to know what to say to that apart from to weep.

"They sat around...as he hung there"

While God died painfully and horribly. While God was stretching and reaching. While God is suffering and dying, slowly.

What does God do in the face of such indifference? Unconcern? They are not looking up; they are focused on themselves; attending to their everyday stuff. Business as usual. What does God do in the face of such indifference? He hangs there.

It's not the out and out hostility that gets me. Atheists don't bother me. They are at least talking about God even if they are not thinking. But those who sit around...

Reflection #5

2010-06-19T17:12:00.002+01:00

Jesus and the Soldiers

Jesus was handed over to the soldiers after his back has been ripped by the lead tipped whip.

Roman soldiers I imagine were a pretty bloody lot. They worked on behalf of an Empire that was ruthless; mired in ugly and graphic violence of every kind. I imagine they have seen and committed all kinds of violent and barbaric acts. They don't care about Jesus. He epitomises everything they hate about this riotous and rebellious nation they have been posted to. Another messiah. Another insurrection to put down. They are all about oppression and humiliation and displays of power. But mostly - humiliation.

The soldiers gather around and undress him. They pull off his clothes. Humiliation. Put a red cloak on him. I imagine a red travelling cloak of one of the Soldiers. The kind they wrap themselves in to sleep. I imagine the smell; the rough texture; the dust; the vivid colour; the feel of it on ripped and bleeding skin. Here's a crown. Push and twist it on his head. Here's a sceptre. They grab and strike him with it. Humiliation. Spit on him. Humiliation. Then pull the cloak off him and push his clothes back on him.

See how powerful we are. We're in charge. We Romans - King?! Hardly.

They stripped and humiliated him. But Jesus had already stripped and humiliated himself. He had already taken off his robe voluntarily; because all authority over everything had been given to him. SO. He had already shamed himself in the act of washing feet. They had no power to humble him. He had chosen to humble himself. He had taken the initiative. They didn't take anything from Jesus that he had not already given up of his own accord.

They didn't grasp that. Jesus had all the power. They hadn't realised because it wasn't the kind of power they expected. Jesus weakness, his humiliation, was his power.

Reflection #4

2010-06-19T16:42:00.002+01:00

Jesus, the Son of Man (Mark & Daniel)

Jesus is taken to the High Priest's home

The Son of Man comes up in the clouds of heaven

Jesus is led before the council

The Son of Man is led into the presence of the Ancient One

They spat on him

He is given authority

They blindfolded him

He is given honour

They beat him with their fists

He is given sovereignty over all the nations of the world

They mocked him

People of every race, nation, language obey him

They slapped him

His rule is eternal it will never end

They took him away

His kingdom will never be destroyed

"Are you the Messiah, the Son of the Blessed One?"

"I AM. And you will see the Son of Man seated in the place of power at God's right hand and coming on the clouds of heaven"

Reflection #3

2010-06-19T15:42:00.003+01:00

Before Annas, Ciaphas, the Sanhedrin, Pilate and Herod

Jesus was led about a lot once he was arrested. He was tied up and ushered in front of different people. It struck me that when he later says to Peter "When you were young you were able to do as you liked...you went wherever you wanted to go, but when you are old..others will take you where you don't want to go", he was speaking from the heart; to lose your liberty, to no longer be independent, but to be forced by others, to do what you don't want to. Jesus had experienced that very thing. He had been compelled to stand in front of all these men.

And as I pictured scene after scene where Jesus is led into the presence of these people it struck me how much they would want to display their power. They would be there in their robes of office, seated on their thrones or whatever the equivalent thing was, surrounded by servants, all the trappings of power and privilege and authority. They would want him to see how important they were, how what they said went. How dare he, who does he think he is unsettling their rules and structures. Overturning their tables. Questioning the things that they had decreed. We'll show him who knows best.

And as I looked I became aware of Jesus beginning to grow in stature. He grew and grew and grew until I could see the universe contained in him, stars and planets and galaxies. Annas became smaller and smaller until he resembled a "grasshopper". I heard God's words to Job

"Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Who determined its dimensions and stretched out the surveying line? What supports its foundations and who laid its cornerstone as the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?...Have you ever commanded the morning to appear and caused the dawn to rise in the east?...Can you direct the movement of the stars - binding the cluster of Pleiades or loosening the cords of Orion?...Do you know the laws of the universe? Can you use them to regulate the earth?"

All authority over everything has been given to me.

But Jesus opened not his mouth.

Reflection #2

2010-06-12T14:11:00.003+01:00

Jesus washes the disciples feet

"Jesus knew he had come from God and was returning to God and that authority over everything had been given to him ... so..."

It's such a small word isn't it ...so... Logically what follows this word should almost be self evident from the previous statement but it isn't - it really isn't at all.

John doesn't write about the body and blood statements Jesus made at the last meal they had together, he tells a remarkable story instead.

Disciples' relationship with their Rabbi was like a slave and a master. The disciple learned from the Master by serving him. We know that the disciples made the preparation for Passover; they were sent into villages to buy food for the group; they took turns to serve. The Babylonian Talmud tells us that "all acts a slave performs for his master, the disciple performs for his Rabbi, ...except untying the sandal."

Feet were considered unclean. Washing them was demeaning. Shameful. Humiliating. Only slaves would do it. Even Jewish male servants wouldn't do it. It could, however, be allocated to women, children or Gentiles.

For a master to belt his robe was unthinkable. Only lower class servants and slaves belt their robes. To belt your robe was to indicate that you were going to become a servant.

He had been given authority over everything ....That means he had been given authority over everything... SO

He got up. He took off his robe. He wrapped a towel around his waist. He poured water into basin. He began washing the disciples feet. He dried them with the towel he had around him.

We some times say - what is the cultural equivalent? It's offering someone a cup of tea or coffee when they come to our house

No it isn't. It's the cultural equivalent of the queen giving up all she has, moving out of Buckingham Palace into a council estate in Possil and spending the rest of her life serving the community there in what ever capacity she can. It's the cultural equivalent of David Cameron walking out of Downing Street and becoming a community activist in Toxteth. And then it's more radical even than that. Because this is GOD.

Jesus sat down and asked;

"Do you understand what I was doing...?"

Reflections on the Passion #1

2010-06-10T17:23:00.003+01:00

I have to admit I've found it really difficult to blog recently. I think some of it is related to the focus of my prayer in the past weeks. Blogging about the Passion feels kind of out of sync with where we are in the year, but I also feel that when I'm praying God is very present and that he gifts me, out of his grace, insights and experiences that I find quite hard to articulate. As I've progressed through the exercises I feel that I've become less and less able to verbalise what it is that God is doing and showing me, but I have experienced it as full of incredible grace and generous love.

I thought that what I might do is share some little reflections on what has been moving me, I think, otherwise, that I might come to a complete halt on my blogging.

#1

Jesus anointed at Bethany

Jesus has just announced that he is about to die; one of his disciples is in the process of seeking to betray him; the religious leaders are desperately plotting to capture him and kill him secretly; Jesus knows what he has to say to his disciples the next day; he is in the home of a family he loves and he is having the second last meal of his life; he knows what his disciples and those who love him will face shortly; he has to live out this final act of his public ministry and then what ...? Jesus has to live this by faith even though he is God he is fully human. This is not a foregone conclusion although Jesus believes he will rise again he has to set his face towards it and choose to follow it.

I imagine Jesus conflicted by all of these thoughts and concerns surrounded by his friends and disciples yet alone in really knowing what all of this means for him and for them. His disciples talking and eating, maybe not fully aware of the turmoil Jesus is going through. But the woman...Mary, who sat at Jesus feet...

Mary sees him. Really sees him. Understands what is happening and the most loving gesture she can make is to take a beautiful jar of expensive perfume and pour it over his head. It is a gesture of love, empathy, understanding and devotion. It is a selfless act to acknowledge what Jesus is experiencing.

The disciples see waste - Jesus sees understanding and concern. The disciples measure the act in terms of it's monetary worth - Jesus measures the act in terms of its self giving. She has honoured him and he reflects honour back to her. "...throughout the world, this woman's deed will be remembered and discussed"

By anointing him in this way she is proclaiming him to be the King. The Christ. Hebrew kings were not crowned, they were anointed and the fragrance acted like a crown on their heads, giving an aroma of the holy. That smell of the anointing perfume would remain on Jesus over the coming days, Gethsemane, Caiaphas' house, before the Sanhedrin, Herod's palace, the Praetorium, the cross. The aroma clung to him proclaiming, wherever he went, that he is the Messiah; the Holy One of God.

The Lost Son and the Seeking Father

2010-04-29T20:28:00.003+01:00

Easter was a bit odd for me. I knew that I was still finishing off the second "week" of the Spiritual Exercises so was still meditating on aspects of Jesus public ministry and knew that I would be coming back to pray with Jesus passion and death in the third "week" which would be a few weeks after Holy Week.

And so for the past few weeks I was left hanging with that thought "Let's not let Jesus do this on his own", as I continued to contemplate Jesus ministry, the increasing hostility of the religious rulers, leading inexorably towards his passion. Now I am officially moving into the third"week" I don't want to lose some of the insights I've had in the second week where the grace I have been seeking is to "See Jesus more clearly, love him more dearly and follow him more nearly.

In the first "week" when I was considering "sin" and how it would feel to be utterly disconnected from God, I sat with this passage for some time. I imagined the son coming to his 'senses' - smelling the pigs, hearing his stomach growl with hunger, looking at the mud and the state he was in - and setting out.

I had shamed my father saying to him in effect, "I wish you were dead". I shamed him in front of the whole community and then when I got what I wanted I squandered it, the money that he had worked all his life for, without a single thought or concern except for my own desires. Then, finding myself starving, feeding pigs of all things, I realise that in my father's household servants are better off than I am. I set out on the long road home and while I'm far off.....................

............I am met by the most insignificant person in the household who says to me "Get lost! You're dead to us. You have dishonoured your family and shamed us in front of the community. You made a choice." And I am cast into complete destitution.

And I deserved this, I brought it on myself. The community would approve of the father's actions - he did the right thing. But I have lost connection with my true self - the self that I understand because I am my father's son, I am part of this community and my actions have excluded me from love and warmth, comfort and belonging.

The feelings sitting meditating on this passage in this way, was complete brokenness and loss. Grief at being separated from the Father.

As I prayed more recently, seeking to see Jesus more clearly, I returned to this passage and this time I imagined the son setting off; hesitating, doubting whether this was the best thing to do, stopping and considering turning around again, considering just giving up and dying. His feelings are shame and self loathing. How could I have done this thing, shaming my father in this way.

Then I see my father running - lifting up his robe and running - my father is shaming himself in front of the whole community. To lift up his robe and run is considered shameful in the culture and here my father is shaming himself in his absolutely reckless, loving desire to get to me.

His response to my shame is to shame himself; to take my shame from me by taking it on himself.

Jesus presents a new image of God; the Father who shames himself to get to us. Whose love has no limits, whose love is all generosity and compassion.

Jesus - the very image of God.

Holy Week

2010-03-29T23:02:00.002+01:00

Don’t give up before Easter.
We have come so far
Don’t give up before we get there.

This is an ongoing story
We don’t say, ‘Goodbye and see you again next week.’
It’s not as simple as that.
Next week, none of us might be here
fickle as a crowd at Passover

This is the story everything moves towards:
stables and wildernesses, mountaintops and bedsides.
So far the gospels have simply been introductions;
introductions to this story of the cost of love.
Everything leads here.

Let us not let Jesus do this on his own.
Let us accompany him.
Let us be here as he faces the temple and the anointing,
the betrayer and the denier,
the bread and the wine.
Let us not let Jesus face these on his own.
It is the least we can do
in response to what Jesus does for us:
giving of himself,
completely.

So this service does not end today
but continues tomorrow and each day this week.

You cannot have Easter without the passion:
stones don’t roll unless the tomb is filled,
dawn doesn’t break unless the darkness rolls in,
resurrection doesn’t happen unless crucifixion is first.
You cannot know how to celebrate Easter
without first living the passion.

So let us journey with Jesus this week
Just as we expect him to be here for us
may we be there for him
to keep the faith alive.

May we hold on for him
when he has to let go
This is a journey of faith
may we have the hope to travel it.

Go now
come back soon
it has only just begun.

copyright Roddy Hamilton

"Who is this?"

2010-03-23T17:54:00.004Z

Been spending more time with gospel narratives in my continuing quest to "see Jesus more clearly"; the passage where Jesus walks on the water (following on from my previous post) and when Jesus is asleep in the boat during the storm and the disciples are fearful.

It's an interesting thing but I've found on many occasions during my retreat, that as I pray with passages or themes that God "gifts" me with an experience of the thing I'm praying with. The really curious thing is that I often don't see it until I start to reflect back with my Spiritual Director (who I meet weekly - the exercises are a guided retreat), and it becomes blindingly obvious - in an "Ahh! that was what that was all about!" kind of a way.

I realised that on reflection, what had been a very difficult week on many fronts, was an experience of buffeting from many quarters. I was in a storm and so reflecting on what Jesus was doing during this time was very helpful.

What did I see?

Well I saw that if God appears asleep - it doesn't mean he doesn't care, it just means he's not worried.

But I was also conscious that God defies our easy characterisation of him. We try and resolve the "Who is this?" question by trying to impose some order on God. We try to contain him in some way. "It must be a ghost." Ghosts we understand, but a God who walks across a lake, through a storm, well that's a whole concept we can't seem to get our heads around. Because God is surprising, unexpected, uncontainable. When we try to impose restrictions on God we actually bind ourselves.

Jesus walks across the water, defies the disciples categories and then Peter... I love Peter - he dares to meet God in the storm; to meet God in the place of non-restriction; to meet the unbound God. He asks to come to Jesus in the storm, on the water, to come to where God is. Jesus says "Yes. Come!" I imagined at that point that there was joy from Jesus and maybe just a hint of relief. Someone wants to defy the easy categories and walk out to where I am; someone who is willing to take a chance, cast off the self imposed restrictions.

"Do not be afraid, take courage. I am here"

I sat on the bus travelling to Glasgow (again) and gazing out at the blue, blue sky; lifted my eyes to the hills and saw the snow shining in the sun, the trees almost ready to come to life - the tiniest buds forming; saw the geese flying across the sky; the dull green of the grass almost ready to shake off the restrictions of winter; felt the warmth through the window. And suddenly I was longing to be out in it, just like Peter, didn't want to be confined by the bus, to be gazing out from behind the glass. Longed to be in the midst of it - in the storm, where the life is.

And I heard Jesus shouting over the wind and the waves "Yes. Come!"

"Who is this?" is not a question I answer once - it is the journey.

Seeing Jesus More Clearly

2010-03-05T21:54:00.004Z

The 'grace' that I am seeking in the second 'week' of the Exercises is the Ignatian prayer - that I might "See Jesus more clearly, love him more dearly and follow him more nearly". As usual Ignatius has real insight - to see Jesus more clearly is the thing that helps us to love him more, and as we love him more, then we seek to follow him more closely.

In practice this means that I have spent the past couple of months imaginatively contemplating passages from the gospels that show me Jesus. Last week I had a few passages that I was meditating on through the week, but one of them stayed with me and each time I came to pray, the images from this passage would come to me. They become like memories, powerful experiences of Jesus. The passage was Matthew 14.13-21 and I saw it in 3 parts.

Firstly - I was in a grove with Jesus and the disciples, we were eating and talking and laughing, it was hot but there was a breeze from the lake and the trees provided shade. We looked up and were being approached by some people, as they drew nearer we recognised them - they were friends, the disciples of John. Jesus and the others rose, greeting them with a kiss and inviting them to sit.

They told us that John was dead.

They began to tell us how it happened - Herod's boastful promise, that he never expected to have to keep, but his bluff was called and it was more important to him to save face than do the right thing. John's disciples had just come from burying John and had come straight away to find Jesus.

I watched Jesus face. What was he feeling?

Sorrow and grief - John and he were inextricable linked from before their births. Cousins, only 6 months apart; both with miraculous conceptions. John, who Jesus grew up with as a boy travelling together to Jerusalem for Passover; John who Jesus publicly aligned himself to in his baptism at the beginning of his ministry; John who he spoke warmly of and defended; weeping over Jerusalem because they killed the prophets; encouraging John in his imprisonment - the blind see and the lame walk. John the prophet to his Messiah.

Anger - that John should die in so pointless a way - for the vanity of a man who was corrupt and weak.

And something else - Jesus realising that this went further because it fore-shadowed something that he knew he would face one day soon.

"As soon as he heard, he left in a boat for a remote place, to be alone"

Jesus weighed down by sorrow, anger and a sense of his own life coming to an end - looks for a place to be alone, to pray.

Secondly - Yet when he gets there he is confronted by crowds of people. What is his reaction? He wants to be in a remote place because he needs time to grieve, to reflect and to come to terms with his cousin's death. What is his reaction?

He has compassion on them.

Not only does he feel compassion - he embodies compassion by healing their sick; by staying with them until evening; by feeding them rather than sending them away hungry. He demonstrates his care for his disciples - making sure they get into the boat to cross the lake; and then waiting himself to send the people home.

In his grief, in his anger, in his turmoil he puts the needs of others before his own. He doesn't count equality with God something to be grasped, he humbles himself. He is not among us as someone who is served but comes to serve. Jesus, the very image of God, embodies radical, costly love.

Thirdly - I stayed with him on the shore as the darkness gathered and the stars appeared and the last of the people made their way home. A breeze was beginning to spring up - quite softly. He stands alone, looks out over the lake and sees the boat with his disciples getting smaller as it moves away from him. Only then he turns and begins to climb. When he has climbed some way up the hill, he sits down. He is alone. He thinks about John, allows himself to dwell on his memories; he turns his face to the Father and the Holy Spirit and lays himself bare. He knows what he has to face and it comes to him - full force - he knows where this is leading. He stays with this and takes comfort from the Godhead - loses himself in that relationship; the love and community within God. And stays there until eventually the wind begins to whip at his clothing. Then he looks out and sees the boat being tossed on the rising waves.

Jesus rises and pulls his head covering around him and makes his way down the hillside towards the lake. A storm is rising; he sets his face and walks into it.

"Cogito, ergo sum"

2010-02-15T20:24:00.004Z

I sometimes think that Descartes was responsible for a lot of the evil in the world - I don't believe he intentionally put us on this path, but I do believe that he set something in motion a few hundred years ago which has resulted in the all pervasive notion in the West that the individual is at the centre of everything. (actually I think that personal computers and mobile phones are a direct consequence of Descartes!); he was very much a man of faith, schooled by the Jesuits, (the order founded by St Ignatius) - but the statement "I think, therefore I am" has pervaded our western culture and sensibilities to such an extent that we have exalted the individual above all, to the detriment of seeing ourselves more widely connected and responsible as part of a larger "community".

Reading the gospels I'm ever more aware of the cultural differences between ourselves today in the west and the experience of Jesus in the middle east at the beginning of the 1st century. We've lost something of what it is like to live in community to be aware of "the other".

Reflecting more on my last post about what we can do to live in a way that is much more concerned for and orientated towards others, I came across a story related by Mother Teresa;

"I will never forget the night an old gentleman came to our house and said that there was a family with 8 children and they had not eaten, and could we do something for them? So I took some rice and went there. The mother took the rice from my hands and then divided it into 2 and went out. I could see the faces of the children shining with hunger.When she came back I asked her where she had gone. She gave me a very simple answer: "They are hungry also". And "they" were the family next door and she knew they were hungry. I was not surprised that she gave, but I was surprised that she knew...I had not the courage to ask her how long her family hadn't eaten, but I was sure it must have been a long time, and yet she knew - in her suffering...In her terrible bodily suffering, she knew that next door they were hungry also."

The African theologian replies to Descartes - "I am, because we are."

Jesus taught us to pray "Give us this day our daily bread" - the prayer is for our bread, it includes our neighbours.

Kenneth E Bailey writes;

"Bread is a gift. the one who prays this prayer affirms that all bread comes as a gift. It is not a right and we have not created it. Such gifts are in trust for the one who gives them. All material possessions are on loan from their owner; the God who created matter itself. This perspective on the material world is critical for the joyful life commended in the gospels."

Imaginative Contemplation

2010-02-02T20:32:00.003Z

One of the features of Ignatian spirituality is imaginative contemplation. To use the imagination in contemplating scripture is to turn the stories of Jesus into an experience. It is about the "application of the senses" to a passage. By picturing our self in the scene and by listening and looking we find ourselves touched and changed from the encounter.

It's not that we let our imaginations run wild, but rather we enter into the passage with the guidance of the Holy Spirit and allow him to speak to us and show us something new or surprising; something which speaks to our heart or emotions. I find this a challenge as I'm very drawn to the cerebral - to thinking and using my mind, to applying my intellect. But Ignatius encourages us to allow God to speak to us in our inner most being. The journey is an interior one.

One of the passages I was meditating on a few weeks ago was the passage where Joseph is warned in the middle of the night to get up and take the child and his mother and flee. To feel the emotion of the situation, to enter into the fear, to the sense of having to leave everything in the dark of the night and flee for your life and the life of your child; to go to a strange land. And to then to enter into the passages about the children being slaughtered, the horror, the anguish, the grief, the disbelief; Joseph's fear on returning from Egypt, to learn that the land was now ruled by the son of the man who was seeking to murder your child.

The feelings have stayed with me for these past weeks - it's almost as if there is a residue.

I was thinking about the fact that in many, many places in the world people live like this all the time. They have no security, they are fearful for their children, they live in countries where the government is corrupt and their lives are insecure, not knowing what will happen next, displaced and hopeless.

And I was reading psalm 147 which says

He has made your city secure,

He blessed your children among you,

He keeps peace at your borders;

He puts the best bread on your tables.

And I am so conscious of how blessed we are in this country. We might moan about the weather, or the rubbish on telly, or the the traffic driving to work. But we really don't understand how blessed we are. We are secure, well fed, our children are educated and have so many opportunities; and most of the time we are not even conscious of it.

How do we Christians in the West live in a way that really makes a difference to the poor and displaced and fearful and that also fully comprehends how incredibly blessed we are?

The Reversal of God

2010-01-02T13:01:00.006Z

First blog of the new year - so Happy New Year! Think this will be a year full of possibilities, promises fulfilled, deeper places in God and radical change in the church! - I'm hoping.

I know new year tends to thunk right in the middle of the Christmas season (maybe more so in Scotland), but my contemplation in the second 'week' of the exercises is around the Christmas narratives. This past week I have been looking particularly at the shepherds and the wise men.

The thing that really stood out for me in the shepherds' story is this vast array of heaven's army appearing in the sky to the poor (in every sense of the word) shepherds - the glory of the Lord surrounding them, the terrified reaction; the pronouncement of the angel that the Lord, the Saviour, the Messiah has tonight appeared and that this will bring great joy to all people. What is the sign? Is it that a vast army has been assembled to bring freedom from Roman oppression, crucifixion and the burden of taxation and set the Jewish people free at last? That some great spiritual teacher has appeared among the Pharisees? or a new radical High Priest has taken over at the temple? Perhaps the nationalistic God that is portrayed in some of the narratives in the Hebrew scriptures has appeared to smite Judea's enemies; or a mighty prophet has arisen bringing God's pronouncements? What is the sign...........?

................."You'll find him wrapped snugly"

Eh?

The Great Reversal.

The God who comes in weakness and powerlessness - the God who is wrapped snugly - who comes to the weak and outcast and humble and ordinary and powerless and seemingly inconsequential and is received with joy, wonder and rejoicing.

When the wise men appear in Jerusalem among the rich, the important and the powerful, the people of consequence and authority - the news "deeply disturbs" them.

And Jesus ministry as it progresses brings even more comfort to the poor and even less comfort to the powerful.

The reversal - the anarchic God; the God of the unexpected. Wrapped Snugly!

This years conundrum - How do I embody the reversal of God?

Mystery

2009-12-17T20:06:00.003Z

Over the last week my spiritual exercises have focused on contemplation of the Trinity. Around this eternal community of 3 persons in one God who live in mutual praise and companionship and devotion to one another. And around Jesus as the second person, of his role in both creation and recreation. The embodied Word which spoke everything into being.

Ignatius asks us to contemplate the world, firstly to spend time with what we see, then what we hear and then what actions we see in the world. That in itself was very powerful. Then to contrast this mystery with the simple story of Mary. There were some verses to read from the Gospel of Luke.

And the words I can't get away from are - "God sent".

This loving God, who is relational to the core of his being, his response to the brokenness and to all that he sees, hears and to the actions of people is to act in time and space. To send to a young girl, a word, which became, literally, embodied through her "Yes" response; in order to draw his creation back into this loving companionship and mutual love which God experiences all the time.

He is, always was, and always will be, drawing us right into the centre of himself until we can hardly spot the join.

Living attentively in Advent

2009-12-14T21:40:00.003Z

It is easy to rush around so much at this time of year, living distractedly, and that's a shame because we miss out on a season which is so rich in symbolism and where, if we can find time to slow down and live a bit counter-culturally, we become much more aware of the incredible power and mystery of Christmas.

"We need Advent because everything in our culture tells us that this season is about buying - and we need more than anything to be reminded of God's perfect gift to all of humankind.

We need Advent because everything in our culture tells us that Christmas begins sometime in October when the shops start to fill with Christmas merchandise - and we need to be reminded that we are waiting, that God's time is not our time, that the world waited a long time for a saviour.

We need Advent because everything in our culture tells us that our lives should be built around our jobs, our purchasing power, and our frantic schedules - and we need to remind ourselves that we belong to God. We need to tell and hear the story of a God who chose to become poor and vulnerable."

In Advent we think of the God who came, the God who comes to us now and the God who will come. Some of the very things we get caught up in can be the things, if we live attentively, that can help us to become more focused.

Here are some ideas;

Light - we celebrate the return of the light - that's why we light more candles on our Advent wreath as the weeks go on - anticipating the conquering of the light over darkness as we reach the shortest day and the days begin to get longer (not sure of the date this year but it's normally around the 22 or 23rd of December) - live aware of the light around us - the sky and how it looks as we travel into work or look out our windows or go about our last minute preparations, or light a candle at night.

Evergreen - we bring evergreen branches and trees into our house and decorate them with symbols of fruit - they're called Christmas trees. Instead of seeing this as a chore, we can do this attentively realising that this symbolises the fruitfulness of the previous year (sometimes we collect ornaments from our travels) and as we place them on our tree, we can reflect on the previous years fruitfulness and the promise of fruitfulness to come. God's mercies are not all behind us - they are new every morning.

Giving gifts - intentionally seeking to bless someone with something thoughtful and well chosen as a way of symbolising the importance of that person to us and saying something about our relationship - sending cards can be the same - seeking to bless someone, writing a small blessing on their card. These become sacraments - they are symbols of something much deeper - signs of grace.

Eating together - whether with family or friends or serving someone who is homeless or without friends and family, there is something that seems to be in the heart of God about sharing hospitality and love through sharing a meal.

Among the poor, among the proud, among the persecuted, among the privileged
Christ is coming

In the private house, in the market place, in the wedding feast, in the judgement hall
Christ is coming

With a gentle touch, with an angry word, with a clear conscience, with burning love,
Christ is coming

That the kingdom might come, that the world might believe, that the powerful might stumble, that the humble might be raised
Christ is coming

Within us, without us, among us, before us, in this place, in every place, for this time, for all time
Christ is coming

He is coming to make all things new

Advent

2009-12-05T22:19:00.002Z

Waiting Prayer for Advent

God of the watching ones,

give us Your Benediction.

God of the waiting ones,

give us Your good word for our souls.

God of the watching ones,the waiting ones,the slow and suffering ones,

give us Your benediction,

Your good word for our souls,

that we might rest.

God of the watching ones,the waiting ones,the slow and suffering ones,

And of the angels in heaven,

And of the child in the womb,

give us Your benediction,

Your good word for our souls,

that we might rest and rise

in the kindness of Your company.

In the name of the Father,

And the Son,

And the Holy Spirit

Amen.

Advent is my favourite time of year – we focus a lot on the death of Christ on the cross but for me there is amazing power in grasping the full implications of the incarnation of God. God come in the flesh. God, putting himself in a position of complete vulnerability and dependency on his own creation. To grasp this is to begin to understand something of the absolute love of God for us.

Advent comes from the Latin word meaning ‘coming’ or ‘arrival’ – a time of preparation for the coming of Christ into the world – it looks back to the first coming of Christ and forward to the return of Christ. The spiritual disciplines are of repentance, fasting and waiting and Advent is characterised by attitudes of longing, anticipation and hope. A time to prepare for the re-birth of Christ in our lives. The word itself implies a drawing near or immanence as God sets in motion the process by which he draws near to all people in the person of Jesus.

“A time of waiting in contemplation for the presence of Christ within us, we are called to bear Christ, to live Christ for others.” Taize

There is something of mystery – waiting with Mary: just as Christ is forming in her body, so we reflect on Christ being formed in our lives.

Christmas is a season not a single day and so we can live over the next few weeks in anticipation of God breaking into our world. Becoming flesh and dwelling among us.

John 1
In the beginning the Word already existed. The Word was with God, and the Word was God. He existed in the beginning with God. God created everything through him, and nothing was created except through him. The Word gave life to everything that was created, and his life brought light to everyone. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.

God sent a man, John the Baptist, to tell about the light so that everyone might believe because of his testimony. John himself was not the light; he was simply a witness to tell about the light. The one who is the true light, who gives light to everyone, was coming into the world.

He came into the very world he created, but the world didn’t recognize him. He came to his own people, and even they rejected him. But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. (The Message says – But whoever did want him, who believed he was who he claimed and would do what he said, He made to be their true selves, their child-of-God selves.) They are reborn—not with a physical birth resulting from human passion or plan, but a birth that comes from God.

So the Word became human and made his home among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. And we have seen his glory, the glory of the Father’s one and only Son.

John testified about him when he shouted to the crowds, “This is the one I was talking about when I said, ‘Someone is coming after me who is far greater than I am, for he existed long before me.”

From his abundance we have all received one gracious blessing after another. For the law was given through Moses, but God’s unfailing love and faithfulness came through Jesus Christ. No one has ever seen God. But the unique One, who is himself God, is near to the Father’s heart. He has revealed God to us.

So, with eternity in mind I seek to be more intentional in my watching for the coming of God in and around me

Isaac the Syrian

2009-11-26T21:22:00.004Z

Contemplative prayer is an interesting thing. It is different. Looking back on the last 10 weeks covering the preparation period and beginning the Spiritual Exercises, I am finding this type of prayer to be very powerful. I came across a very good quote in a book I was reading which helps to describe it. It's a quote from St Isaac the Syrian, a 7th century Christian scholar and ascetic and hermit. He said,

"Stillness is a deliberate denial of the gift of words for the sake of achieving inner silence, in the midst of which a person can hear the presence of God. It is standing unceasingly, silent, and prayerfully before God"

I think this describes the process very well. It is a discipline; and some days it is easier than others. But to deny ourselves words for the sake of hearing God is powerful and I have found that God constantly meets me, and surprises me and there is a deepening awareness of "gift" as I contemplate different aspects of faith.

On Sunday I was leading worship and started by stopping. Encouraging people to take some time to become aware of the God who is already present. Sometimes the problem is that we are absent. It doesn't take too much time to stop and become aware and experience the Father who runs to us as we make our way home.

Cryptic Blog Entry #2

2009-11-21T17:04:00.004Z

Well last night there were 2 new moons at the same time which was really spooky. As with reading, seeing it, I was briefly swayed towards team Jacob but I just can't sustain it - it is Edward all the way. This is not the feeling in the whole household as I have a near and dear one who is team Jacob, and even more so since last night. The house is divided.

(To make more sense of this you possible need to read Cryptic blog entry 1!)

Lessons from Qoheleth

2009-11-17T17:48:00.008Z

What has become clear is that retreating in daily life can seriously effect one's blogging ability(?)/time(?).

One of the scriptures that I've been reflecting on in the last week or two is in the book of Ecclesiastes; Qoheleth (the Teacher) is reflecting, philosophically more than religiously, on the absurdity of life and how, therefore, we should live. The verses I was particularly drawn to are in chapter 3.

"What do people really get for all their hard work? I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end."

It's this tension we live in - God has placed eternity in our hearts - there is the pull to something more - we recognise a connection, some greater calling on us as human beings, but in spite of this we can never understand the full extent of what God is doing. Now I believe in "the prophetic in the every day" - where God underlines something from a common or garden experience that illustrates something that he is speaking to me about. So I had a couple of examples of this in the last week.

The first one - I was at a conference staying in a hotel beside the sea. I was taking some time out before dinner to do my daily contemplative prayer - it was dark but I could still see the waves crashing on the beach - which is something I love - so kept the curtains open. As I was meditating I looked out of the window and saw the moon begin to rise above some clouds on the horizon, a huge, pink, full moon - it was an amazing sight. I heard the invitation to be attentive to this, to watch it unfolding. And as I watched I was aware of people driving cars, I could see the lights fanning out in front of them on the road; people going about their everyday lives, rushing home from work; I was aware that some people were sitting behind the closed curtains of their hotel room or inside their houses, perhaps making dinner, distracted by other things; who weren't aware of the beauty of what was unfolding in the sky above them.

Secondly - a few mornings ago I was driving over the bridge, under a steel grey Scottish, November sky, and in the middle of it was a huge complete rainbow, with a lighter reflected rainbow next to it. The thing was that it was at the back of me and I couldn't glimpse the whole thing - just glances as I drove; a partial view in my wing mirror; another in my rear mirror - but the symbol of God's love and grace was right there - I just couldn't see it all at once.

Two examples of God's work continuing on while we can only see a glimpse or where the cares of the day crowd in on us and we miss God doing something amazing. But the comfort is that God is in control, that the Creator is always at work directing his creation.

The passage continues

"So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labour, for these are gifts from God."

I guess that brings us back to the whole attentive, grateful and prayerful thing again - being conscious of the everyday things that we do - working or eating or drinking - God has made even these beautiful and we should do them with pleasure, recognising the bigger work of God which goes on always whether we witness it or not.

Living the Day Well

2009-11-03T16:09:00.004Z

Well I have completed my 6 week preparation phase before beginning the Spiritual exercises of St Ignatius of Loyola - (see here if you want more info on what that is but it is basically a retreat in everyday life - a period where you put aside time for around 9 - 12 months to particularly seek God and to contemplate the movement of God in your life). I'm actually now in the first week of the exercises proper and this week the focus is on the mystery that is "sin".

It was really good to recover the discipline of spending time each day in prayerful contemplation of scripture. It is very much praying with what God gifts to you rather than the more familiar prayer as thanks and asking for stuff. Spending time coming to a place of stillness and allowing God to bring something to my attention from the scripture passage and then just staying with that and allowing God to unfold some meaning, revelation, something fresh; is very powerful.

The preparation phase left me in an interesting place. An accumulation of passages left me with a strong sense of slowing down, of wanting to be much more aware of the day. The bible talks about God's mercies being new every morning, Jesus asks us to focus on one day and not to worry about what tomorrow will bring. Each day is a gift and we can live distractedly or attentively. We can live in a blur of activity, eating, driving, at meetings etc. or we can live aware of the food we have and how it tastes, aware of the countryside, the colour of the leaves, the light, the sky, as we drive along. Partly I think it's a result of the stilling and the contemplative nature of the exercises. The "examen" asks us to be aware of the different feelings during the day - to pay attention to what brings life and movement towards God and what brings desolation and a movement away from God. In one of the passages I was praying with, Deuteronomy 30.15-20, God invites us to choose life and the sense I got was very much of God's joy and exuberance and gift. God invites us each day to choose life and whatever situations we face we can ask "What is God's invitation in this?"

So I am seeking to live each day more attentively, more prayerfully and more gratefully. I'll let you know how it goes.

"Stillness in a Hectic World"

2009-10-27T09:50:00.006Z

My sister got me an early Christmas present, Ludovico Einaudi was performing in Edinburgh after 3 years absence appearing again at the Usher Hall. So Sunday night, bad back and all, we headed off to Edinburgh.

If you have never heard Einaudi then I suggest you remedy this right away and get one of his CDs. I've used Einaudi's music in worship and prayer events; as background to multimedia presentations; I think actually that on a Sunday morning we could do away with some of the mushy nonsense that passes for contemporary worship music and just play some Einaudi pieces instead; he is also brilliant if you are seeking to come to stillness before prayer. His music is very difficult to categorise and has been variously described as classical; ambient; chamber music; this time the programme described it as "the sound of stillness in a hectic world", which is perfect.

To actually be at one of his concerts is on a different level altogether. The sense of peace and stillness which pervades the place when he plays is profoundly spiritual. I've seen him 3 times now and it is an experience that is like no other. I've seen him with just himself and his Steinway and with a cellist. This time like last, he appeared with his Steinway, 2 violinists who also played guitar and percussion (brilliantly!), a viola, a cellist and "live electronics". He opened the concert with a piece from his latest CD, Nightbook, The Planets, and as we sat in the darkened auditorium the music from the piano played and the violinists and viola player slowly walked from the back of the stalls through the audience. The music is haunting and uplifting and pierces your spirit. I find it difficult to not smile throughout the whole thing.

Two (not one - two) standing ovations later; that could be it for another 3 years; he's got no more dates in Scotland this time around but you can still catch him in Birmingham (tonight!!), Basingstoke, Poole, Gateshead and next year in London, Leicester, Brighton and Coventry - if you live near any of these places - get a ticket.

So when Christmas day comes and I don't have a present to unwrap - who cares - (my lovely sister also bought me the CD cos I wasn't well) I'll just put that on and let my mind drift back to experience the concert at the Usher Hall and rekindle that incredible stillness. Ludovico Einaudi - you are a legend!

Saying Grace

2009-10-22T11:43:00.002+01:00

Blog has been a bit neglected over the last few weeks - partly because of difficulty sitting - too sore!!

I came across a site recently called live simply - it's a site which challenges us to think about consumption, climate change, justice and poverty. It is good to reflect on God's goodness particularly as this is One World Week. Our food and other material goods are sourced from all over the world, many people are involved in producing it and we are exceptionally blessed. We really don't lack anything. We live in peace, we are free to worship, we eat more than one meal a day, we own shoes (you might want to check out the Tom's Shoes site on this issue). There are many ways we can get involved in global justice, but we might also want to start to really think about saying grace. We've always said grace before our evening meal but it's very easy to let it just slip into words and routine. The live simply site has some example graces and I particularly liked this one

Generous, loving God
Creator of the world we share
We ask you to give us today our daily bread

And as we store the crops
and fill the barns
stack the shelves
pile high the tins
and wander the aisles
of supermarket choice

Show us how to see the world
through the eyes of the hungry
Teach us how to share with all
Our daily bread
Amen

Meditation; Psalm 139; and a Herniated Disc

2009-10-08T15:13:00.009+01:00

Life is never dull is it?

I just started into the 6 week preparation phase before making the Spiritual Exercises.

(For those who don't know too much about this - I'd decided some time ago that this was what was next for me on my Ignatian journey and have been looking forward to getting underway - they start in September to roughly parallel the liturgical year.

The Spiritual Exercises are really a form of retreat and were created in the sixteenth century by St Ignatius of Loyola based on ordered, scripture-based meditations and contemplations. St Ignatius believed that the Exercises needed extended time to unfold and that retreatants (me) needed individual guidance. Initially the exercises lasted over a 30 day retreat period, however, St Ignatius must have been prophetic because he made provision that the exercises could also be made in 'everyday life' over a period of around 9 - 12 months.

The Exercises are divided into four sections known as 'weeks' (these obviously aren't actual weeks when making the exercises in everyday life) separated by 'rest days'. In each 'week' you are invited to become more fully aware of an aspect of God's call, and to begin the process of co-operating with it. Different kinds of prayer are explored and there is an emphasis on praying with scripture, opportunity for stillness and use of the 'examen' of consciousness. The Spiritual Exercises involve a process which aims to help you to reach inner freedom in responding to the personal call of Christ to help build the Kingdom of God. They are orientated to mission, and rooted in contemplation.

The purpose of the exercises is to develop characteristics which then become part of daily life. Firstly, better able to discern your inner desires and to see how God is working in your life and in the world; secondly, how to bring together contemplation and action; and thirdly, increasing awareness of the presence and activity of God in all things.

There is an initial 6 week preparation period, daily prayer of around an hour which involves coming to stillness (very hard for me with my butterfly brain!); speaking to God about what it is I desire from the time; reflection / contemplation on a specific passage - which is the bulk of the time - allowing the passage to sit with you and becoming aware of what particularly strikes you; then dialogue with God; a short break; and journalling, paying particular attention to feelings. Each week I meet with my Spiritual Director to reflect on prayer and other experiences since the last meeting, and to agree material for the next week. My Spiritual Director is fabulous and she really helps me to reflect at a much deeper level and draw out God's movement in my life.)

So I was about a week and a half in - very excited - when 'ping' (or something) - excruciating pain and massive agony. Just at the point I was meditating on being 'so wonderfully complex' on God making 'all the delicate inner parts of my body', being loved and cherished, never away from God's presence. It's an interesting juxtaposition to find yourself in. The things that had stood out for me from the passage was the sense of God 'knowing my anxious thoughts' and 'placing your hand of blessing on my head'. I felt very clearly the absolute love and care of God. So at 2 o'clock in the morning as I was pacing my dark livingroom (yes and weeping in agony - I'm so dramatic!), draping myself over the back of my sofa in an effort to find any relief, I had a lot to meditate on.

The question I come to - 'Is God still with me?' - 'Yes'.

'Does he still love me the same way he showed me very vividly a few hours before?' 'Yes'.

The question I begin to ask is - 'How is God there to me?'

'As healer?' - ah - there's a tricky question. I'm surrounded by people who are really into healing and it's fab - every blessing on them and their ministry - seriously - but there is a big hesitation on this one for me - I don't believe that God sends suffering to test us or for any other reason. I don't believe that God even 'allows' suffering, but I do believe that we suffer - heck I could testify to it!! I also believe God can heal and does; but I also believe that not everyone gets healed and it's not because he doesn't love us, or because of our technique or because we used the wrong words or because of lack of faith etc. So how am I to understand God - how is he here to me? I also believe that when we seek God first we're doing the right thing - and I do think there is a difference between seeking God and seeking healing.

So for 10 days of sleeping on my livingroom floor suffering, pacing, spaced out on pills that would floor a horse, (yes there was even a bit more weeping and the odd sweary word), all the while doing my preparation passages meditating on God's care for wild flowers; the fact that he sends rain on the desert places where no-one lives in order to satisfy the parched ground and cause tender grass to spring up; how he crowns me with love and tender mercies; how he draws me into a good pasture; how when I go through deep waters, rivers of difficulty and fires of oppression, he'll be there in the flood and in the fire; even how the ostrich is a bit lacking in wisdom but still has a gift to be able to run like the wind!

What is the nature of the 'How'? He is my Creator, he named me, he is always with me, he knows me, he is God, he delights in his creation and it brings real joy to him to care for it; that's just how it is and it is no less true when I'm in pain than when I'm not. And there is a security in knowing this.

Can suffering have any element of 'gift' in it? Yes. St Ignatius began his 'retreat' because as a soldier, he was wounded by a cannonball in the leg - it was an enforced confinement - probably not particularly pleasant (no horse pills in those days!). There is something to having to live differently, even in your own house, no bed, making a space to sleep, having to think about the position you adopt to sleep that brings comfort. But God is in it. He is no less creator when I suffer than when I am fully fit.

"When you go through deep waters, rivers of difficulty and fires of oppression - you won't drown or be consumed because I will be with you."

So What? (Warning: this post is controversial and also quite long!)

2009-09-29T23:00:00.009+01:00

So I read a bunch of books over the summer - nothing new there - I'm always reading and thinking - after all my summer book reports the big question is - So What ? How does it change me? What are the challenges? And what am I going to do about them anyway?

The big thing I understand, is it is all founded on relationship (I know that doesn't sound very radical after all 'personal relationship with God' is the mantra of evangelicalism) but bear with me...

Maybe the realisation started a few years back when I really began to study the Bible in a lot more depth - looking at differing views of really fine scholars - and finding that there are competing opinions across a whole range of Christian thought - there isn't one version of the truth (controversy #1). Christianity is a broad church - literally!

Actually - what I have come to understand, is that Christianity is more like independent travel than a package holiday where you accept the whole thing whether you like it all or not. I have become aware that actually what I am looking for is a different skin - one I feel more comfortable in. It is still absolutely a Christian skin, but there are lots of Christians who understand their faith very differently from each other. I guess the branch I've been in for quite a while, and have over time begun to find an increasing dissonance with, is much more certain than I am comfortable with. (you're either in or you're not; you're either saved or you're not; you're either going to hell or heaven; you have to believe the whole Bible is literally true, not myth or story or narrative and other types of literature - Jonah was definitely swallowed by a big fish, there was literal garden with 2 trees and a serpent and actually that serpent was the devil etc.)...and I'm honestly not saying this to disrespect others who believe this (and OK I'm maybe exaggerating for effect!) But honestly, there is a liberation in discovering that you have a valid choice about the kind of journey you make, and that you can make choices about the elements of belief that make sense to you and that you wish to journey with.

You see I do have problems with the Bible (controversy #2) (I agree with Scott McKnight on the emergent podcast) - it doesn't really make any difference to me that the first 11 chapters of Genesis are not literally true; I really have no problem that there is such a thing as evolution (no actually that doesn't negate God - that's a category error as John Lennox points out); I have some real questions around some Christians' behaviours - (most of what is on the God Channel; Todd Bentley and his ilk, and what appears to me to be cynical manipulation and a particularly iniquitous brand of "superstitious christianity"); I have problems with hell; I don't care if the Bible is contradictory, that there was more than one Isaiah and that Paul was sometimes expressing an opinion; but I do have real issues about the immorality and the depiction of a god who is a mean, petty, war monger; I'm happy to ask the question about what kind of truth can be found in scripture. I understand that some of this is socially located and not universal theology; that some of this is down to partial revelation and narrow nationalism. The Bible, (unlike the Muslim belief in the Qu'ran or the book of Mormon, didn't pre-exist, wasn't handed down to us complete, by an angel) it is a product of the cultures and people in which and by whom it was written over many hundreds of years. (controversy #3) You have to understand that in order to make sense of it!

The relationship between the Bible and Christians has become significantly different in the last couple of hundred years; it has become individual, not located in community any more; it has completely mediated our understanding of God replacing our "felt" and "lived" experience; speaking into a specific time and place to a particular group of real people. It mirrors our move to "personal" salvation (and yes - as I tried to explain to the housegroup - to nonsense like the rapture - we are individually OK cos we're leaving anyway) (yip I know - controversy #4); no longer is the gospel about the transformational impact on society by a living, believing community.

That's why I like Rob Bell, Shane Claibourne, Emergent, Peter Rollins, Jamie Smith (and even Derrida, Foucault and Lyotard) etc. - it's about fundamentally redefining church as a transformational community; it's about permission to become a Christian traveller and not a package holiday maker passing through without touching the culture, living in my own personal Christian bubble eating at the tourist snack bars which sell egg and chips and show football on satellite TV. (does this make sense?)

What has become important to me is to search for understanding; learning to practice my faith in ways which come from many Christian traditions; which help me make sense of the world and God.

I do believe in a loving Creator and in the full revelation of this God being incarnated in Christ; I do believe that Jesus life and resurrection are just as important as his death; I understand this to be about love and showing a better way; I don't understand it to be legal, transactional or about assuaging God's wrath; I understand much better that theology is a conversation and that the gospel is always incarnated in a cultural context; and at it's heart is about a relationship, in fact the ultimate relationship.

On a final note (and in no way controversial I think), my daughter has started attending youth housegroup, run by a fantastic couple, and she's really loving it. She came home the other week and said - "Christianity has so many rules to follow" (the discussion had got around to going "up the town" on a Saturday night drinking and clubbing and what the Christian thing to do is). I said to her - "I don't understand God like that - Do you have a set of rules that you follow living in this family?" She thought about that, "No" she said. "Actually" I said "how we understand each other is through our relationship, living in the context of mutual love and acceptance. We love each other, and so we seek to understand one another and live together in a way that makes sense to us and honours the relationship". (that sounds a bit pretentious and I probably said it more simply - but she really got it)

I honestly understand God like this now. We find our journey in God completely mediated by his loving relationship with us. But our Christian lives are also mediated in community - in some senses it's never just about "God and me".

Small Graces and Blogging

2009-09-19T20:48:00.005+01:00

What do you do when you've had the busiest, most frenetic 5 weeks at work, culminating in a 2 day event which you've been responsible for, with an overnight stay; when you've been up half the previous night with a migraine and when you are just knackered?

Well - you come home, you walk through your empty house and go out to your back garden, you sit yourself down on your door step, look out over your garden, hear the silence, turn your face to feel the warmth from the last heat of the early evening sun, and feel a sense of peace as you contemplate life while joined on the step by the undemanding companionship of next door's cat; you scarf down 2 bags of weightwatchers cheesy puffs (only 70 calories a bag) and you become aware that God's grace comes to you in all sorts of ways, some of which seem small and seemingly insignificant.

That's been a whole year of blogging and it's a funny old thing. I guess I started because it seemed like an idea - spurred on by my maladjusted friend. An online journal that people can follow, or read from time to time, or stumble across as the case may be. I hadn't been on my blog for a couple of days and when I looked there had been hits from a couple of places in the States, quite a few places across the UK, Paris, Germany and Turkey all in the space of 48 hours. Some people come from my friend's blog, others follow some obscure search to do with Doris Day, or flying monkeys, or Foucault. You get to share big ideas and small blessings and it's a lot of fun.

Whichever way you came to it - thanks for reading!

Summer Reading #s 3 & 4

2009-09-14T20:13:00.010+01:00

This is taking me ages so I thought I'd do the last 2 books together. They are both from the same series anyway, edited by James K A Smith called "The Church and Postmodern Culture".

Who's Afraid of Postmodernism - Taking Derrida, Lyotard and Foucault to Church - James KA Smith

What Would Jesus Deconstruct - The Good news of Postmodernism for the Church.

Those of you who know me well, know I've been looking at this stuff for years but having been listening to and doing a bit more reading about emergent - Derrida is featuring large and I wanted to get to grips with this continental philosophy stuff in a bit more depth. Also who could resist a book with the title "What Would Jesus Deconstruct"? - (WWJD) - (yip that's the kind of thing which really appeals to me)

Jamie Smith looks at these 3 philosophers and deconstructs their "slogans" in a way which opens up their arguments really helpfully showing the applicability and benefit to the church. He also argues that to be relevant the church needs to look back at her traditions and reclaim them for the 21st century.

The "slogans" are
"There is nothing outside the text" Jacques Derrida
"Postmodernity is incredulity toward meta-narratives" Jean-Francois Lyotard
"Power is knowledge" - Michel Foucault

His agenda is clear - he wishes to shift from modern Christianity "where the base 'ingredient' is the individual"; Christianity as a system of truth or ideas; an intellectualised, commodified private faith affair between the individual and God where the role of the church is to provide a place of fellowship with other individuals who have a private relationship with God; the church then is simply a collection of individuals. Instead he argues for a living community embodying its head; genuine community; resisting talking about Christians as individuals; the notion of the "holy catholic church"undoes modern individualism; there is no Christianity apart from the body of Christ which is the church. The church does not exist for me; the church is the site where God renews and transforms us.

If you think that's quite radical then wait till you hear this bit - "What I a sinner need is not so much answers, as reformation of my will and heart...practices of friendship and being called to get along with those one doesn't like..the church for instance is a place to learn patience by practice"!!! (help!)

"Nothing is more countercultural than a community serving the Suffering Servant in a world devoted to consumption and violence."

It's actually quite hard to summarise this book because the arguments taken out of context can be misconstrued - which is ironic given, as Derrida says - "Everything is interpretation - i.e. there's nothing outside the text!". Let me give it a bash very briefly.

If everything is interpretation then we are free to interpret the world differently, the church becomes more prophetic while retaining its humility; it becomes countercultural and prophetic by its deeds; stops being apologetic in both senses and puts its interpretation openly into the marketplace. That's Derrida's bit.

Lyotard helps us to realise that "scientific knowledge, which considered itself to be a triumph over narrative knowledge, covertly grounds itself in a narrative; they are the false appeals to the universal, rational, scientific criteria - as though they were divorced from any particular myth or narrative. For the postmodernist every scientist is a believer...the postmodern critique demands not that modern thought relinquish its faith, but that it own up to it... the notion of reducing Christian faith to 4 spiritual laws signals a deep capitulation to scientific knowledge whereas postmodernism signals the recovery of narrative knowledge and should entail a more robust, unapologetic proclamation of the story of God in Christ."

Foucault talks about what counts as knowledge being constituted within networks of power - social, political and economic. "He sees through the neat and tidy claims to objective truth, seeing them as only masks of power. Many people are defined by the primary goal of consumption, they stake their identity on their material possessions...their ultimate goal is to be faithful consumers...we need to recognise the antithesis between the dominant culture's understanding of the human calling and the biblical understanding of our ultimate vocation...this must be cultivated by practices of sanctification."

OK - this is a huge post but I'm determined to finish - then in my next post I'll deal with the question on every one's lips - So What?

WWJDeconstruct - here's some quotes and you can make your own mind up

"I am still looking for the text that supports the idea that "Christians" means people who should be free to accumulate as much wealth for themselves as they possibly can under the law, while letting the needs of the poor be met painlessly by "charity"- by people of means who will voluntarily give of their overflow - so that they do not have to share any more of their wealth than is unavoidable"

"A politics of the kingdom would be marked by madness of forgiveness, generosity, mercy and hospitality. The dangerous memory of the crucified body of Jesus poses a threat to a world organised around the disastrous concept of power, something that is reflected today in the widespread critique of the concept of "sovereignty" - of the sovereignty of autonomous subjects and the sovereignty of nations powerful enough to get away with acting unilaterally and in their own self interests. The crucified body of Jesus proposes not that we keep theology out of politics but that we think theology otherwise, by way of another paradigm, another theology, requiring us to think of God otherwise, as a power of powerlessness, as opposed to the theology of omnipotence that underlies sovereignty. The call that issues from the crucified body of Jesus solicits our response, for it is we who have mountains to move by our faith and we who have enemies to move by our love. It is we who have to make the weakness of God stronger than the power of the world."

Both books are great - I'd probably recommend Jamie Smith's book as being more accessible but both challenged and broadened my understanding of God and made me reflect again on what it means to be a Christian.

Summer Reading #2

2009-09-02T16:46:00.003+01:00

"Jesus Wants to Save Christians - A Manifesto for the Church in Exile" - Rob Bell

I really like Rob Bell's books - I think he's a great communicator, he's honest, he's challenging and he's scholarly. If you haven't read anything by him before I would definitely recommend him. I've read "Velvet Elvis - Repainting the Christian Faith" and am currently reading "Drops Like Stars: A Few Thoughts on Creativity and Suffering".

In this book he focuses on "empire", charting the whole history of Israel in relation to both the empires they came up against and the empire they became; and how this corrupted what God had originally intended through the covenant; the consequences and the legacy of that; and the current application of "empire" as it relates to the church. His approach is scholarly - his books usually bring a great deal of the historical and cultural background into play giving a much clearer understanding of context and place, and I always get some insight which I never noticed before. All good. His books however are very very accessible - not a daunting read at all. I found it all really interesting but this book also packs a punch and the chapter entitled "Swollen-Bellied Black Babies" really challenges and brings the whole issue to a head. I'm going to quote from it, although I'm a bit afraid that it might diminish the impact of what he says - because he builds his picture and constructs his challenge in a really great way then socks it to you;

"Imagine the average youth group in the average church on the average Sunday. Imagine visiting this youth group and having the pastor say to you "I just can't get my kids interested in Jesus. Do you have any suggestions?"

How do you respond?

To begin with the church has a youth group. This is a brand new idea in church history. A luxury. All the babies and older folks and the men and the women and widows and students aren't in the one room, but they've gone to separate rooms?

And there are resources for this? People and organisational structures and a budget? Let's imagine that in this case, this pastor, this youth pastor, is paid a salary for his or her work. A church with enough resources to pay someone to oversee the students. Once again, this is brand new, almost unheard of in most of the rest of the churches in the world, and in church history, a brand new invention.

This salary can be paid and this building can be built because people in the congregation have surplus. They have fed themselves and their children and bought clothes and houses, and now, after these expenses, there is still money available. And this money is given in an act of generosity to the church, which disperses it to various places, among them the bank account of the pastor.

In many, if not most of the churches in the world, immediate needs simply don't allow for such luxuries - too many people are hungry, too many don't have a roof, too many are sick - and so any surplus is spent immediately on the basic needs staring them in the face, people dying here, right now, today.

But this particular church is blessed, and we should be clear about this - it is blessing, it is good. It is fortunate that this particular church doesn't have those issues. This church has enough resources to hire a pastor who had the resources to get training to gather these students in the student room to teach them about the way of Jesus. Many Christians around the world would simply stand in awe of that kind of blessing.

And the students in this church, these are good kids. They are from families who just want to see their kids become good Christians.

Imagine just how much is available to them. They have more at their fingertips than any generation in the history of the world - more information, more entertainment, more ideas, more ways to kill time, more options.

Many of them own more than one pair of shoes.

There are even some among them who have eaten at least one meal every day of their lives.

So we are talking about a minuscule minority of kids in the world

At the exit off the highway near their church is a Best Buy and a Chilli's and a Circuit City and a McDonald's and a Wal-Mart and Bed, Bath and Beyond much like the other towns in their state and in their country. The music they listen to is distributed by one of 5 major corporations, which also own the movie studios that create the movies they watch, which are also connected to the corporations that create the food they eat and the commercials they watch, which also have significant ties to the clothes they wear and the cell phones they own and the ring tones on their cell phones.....

So each week they gather to hear a talk from the pastor.

The pastor tells them about the Jesus revolution.

About Jesus resisting the system.

About the blood of the cross.

About many Christians getting arrested.

About Jesus having dinner with prostitutes and tax collectors.

About people sharing their possessions.

About Jesus telling a man to sell everything.

About the uniqueness of their story in the larger story of redemption.

How do children of the empire understand the Saviour who was killed by an empire?

How does a 12 year old who has never had hunger pangs that lasted more than an hour understand a story about a 12 year old providing fish and bread for thousands of chronically hungry people?

How do kids who are surrounded by more abundance than in any other generation in the history of humanity take seriously a Messiah who said "I have been anointed to preach good news to the poor?"

How do they fathom that half the world is too poor to feed it's kids when their church just spent 2 years raising money to build an addition to their building?

They gather, they sing, they hear a talk from the pastor, and then they get back in the car with their parents and they go home; the garage door opens up, the car goes in, and the garage door goes down.

This is the revolution?

This is what Jesus had in mind?

And so the youth pastor turns to you and says, again, " I just can't get my students engaged with Jesus. Do you have any suggestions?"

What do you say?

How do you respond?

Your only hope, of course, would be to remind him or her that there is blood on the doorposts of the universe"

He goes onto talk about the Passover and the Eucharist

"What if Jesus ...was talking about our actually enacting what the ritual is all about over and over, again and again, year after year? What if the "do this" he primarily meant wasn't the ritual he was leading his disciples through at that moment. What if the "do this" was his whole way of life?...the "do this"part is our lives. Opening ourselves up to the mystery of resurrection, open for the liberation of others, allowing our bodies to be broken and our blood poured out, discovering our Eucharist. Listening. And going.

Addendum...

2009-08-23T14:25:00.003+01:00

Was really trying to get my blog entry finished and on my blog last night and forgot to add another quote from Rollins that I particularly like;

"Instead of offering a scientific explanation that would convince, or publicizing the miracles so as to compel his listeners, Jesus engaged in a poetic discourse that spoke to the heart of those who would listen. In a world where people believe they are not hungry, we must not offer food but rather an aroma that helps them desire the food we cannot provide. We are people born from a response to hints of the divine. Not only this but we must embrace the idea that we are called to be hints of the divine...God is not revealed via our words but rather via the life of the transformed individual."

Summer Reading #1

2009-08-22T17:20:00.005+01:00

I think what I’ll do is just talk about each of the books and then do a final blog to sum up and look at the big “So What?” question.

First up - "How (Not) to Speak of God" Peter Rollins.

Peter Rollins is a lecturer in philosophy and founder of “Ikon”, a community of spiritual practice in Belfast. The book reflects both of these aspects and is in 2 parts – the first a more philosophical discussion about God and the second outlines 10 Ikon services. Ikon are working to create a space for people to explore issues of faith and encounter God and they employ "Christian narrative" working from the principle that "only God can give God". They seek to deconstruct ideas of God in an effort to "rediscover the place of mystery in faith". They also deal with subjects such as uncertainly, absence and transcendence. The services outlined are interesting. What is also interesting is that all the books I read have an element of dealing with the big philosophical issues of God, but seeking to relate this to actual practice - "what does/would it look like"

The first half of the book deals with how we think and speak about God -

“That which we cannot speak of is the one thing about whom and to whom we must never stop speaking".

Rollins looks at this issue that "God" is unspeakable, that we try to "colonize" the name God with concepts. The tension we deal with is between faith and theology;

"Our fragile faith is fanned into life in the wake of what we believe to have been the incoming of a life-giving encounter in which we feel connected with, and transformed by, the source of everything that is...such faith cannot be reduced to the mere affirmation of religious dogma, a regular visit to some religious institution or the reciting of mechanical prayers. For Christians testify to being caught up in and engulfed by that which utterly transcends them".

"Theology...is that which attempts to come to grips with this life-giving experience...here the source of our desire is rendered into an (intellectual) object that we can reflect upon"

Rollins talks about looking to the Christian Mystics as part of the solution to this dilemma;

"Instead of viewing the unspeakable as that which brings all language to a halt, they realized that the unspeakable was precisely the place where the most inspiring language began".

The book is challenging and thought provoking, using parables and stories to illustrate points. It's the kind of book that I can get very excited about because the book begins to create space for me to engage with what I believe about God but in a way that is not dogmatic. I think part of this journey I'm on is to deconstruct myself as a Christian. I want to be a different kind of Christian, I don't want to be inauthentic. I think some of the attraction of the books I read over the summer is that they give me permission to feel more comfortable in my own skin - it's OK to ask questions and maybe view some things differently from the mainstream. Not the kind of Christian that is completely certain, but someone who can live with uncertainty and ambiguity. Again this is not an intellectual exercise because what I found fascinating is that I had this exact conversation with Matt on the streets one Saturday night along the lines that Rollins outlines

"The argument is made that naming God is never really naming God but only naming our understanding of God"

That's pretty much what Matt said and actually, I agreed with him, how can the finite mind grasp the infinite? All of our talk of God can only be mediated through our limited intellect; we do reduce God to a set of propositions. That’s the way our minds work – we categorise things. which makes it very difficult for us to see things with fresh eyes, but Rollins (like Rahner - I know I keep going on about him!) helps us to do just that. He illustrates it with the rabbit duck illusion - you can either see a rabbit or a duck but we can't just see the lines devoid of the rabbit or duck.

One of the things I'm not comfortable with as a Christian is doctrinaire approach to evangelism - I liked the following quote;

"The dialogue replaces the standard monologue of those who would wish to either clone the other, making them into a reflection of themselves, or exclude the other, making them into a scapegoat who embodies all our fears and insecurities. ...The alternative is not relativistic acceptance of every position but rather a dialogue in which we treat everyone we meet as an individual who we can learn from and perhaps teach..

(We) can engage in a genuine dialogue in which we are prepared to rethink in relation to what the other says (instead of inauthentic dialogue in which one pretends to be open to the insights of another, but in reality one is not prepared to place one's own thinking into question). Rather than being a sign of weakness, this powerless approach is a sign of strength, for one is committed to the idea that if we genuinely seek truth from above, we will not be given a lie, for God will not give scorpions to the one who seeks bread."

A last thought from Rollins

"How many of us have learnt too late that our initial idea, that by serving the world we will help bring God to others, has eclipsed the wisdom that in serving the world we find God there."

That's something I am coming to understand more and more.

Fundamentals (not to be confused in any way shape or form with fundamentalism) and Summer Reading

2009-08-18T12:37:00.010+01:00

Just to recap - cos it's good to reflect and restate what you're about sometimes - I talk a lot about this journey I'm on (all-be-it with a few detours along the route to discuss cats, moonwalks, Twilight, David Tennant and other less obviously related issues - although to my mind it's all part of the whole and it's not a linear journey anyway) after all this blog is about being Christian in the culture and time in which I find myself and it's about asking myself the question about what therefore "church" means in this context. It's about trying to work out how being a person of faith intersects with people around me who are not people of faith...

So why does it matter? Because I do believe that there is a God who loves and communicates with us all and that people are not necessarily thinking about God or asking the big questions of life and meaning; that there is a call to live differently to eschew consumerism, superficiality, celebrity obsession and to live justly and righteously; that how we live does have an impact on the world for good or evil; that the Kingdom of God is a reality that we need to live; that the Kingdom was and is and is to come; that God's invitation rather than narrowing our lives and making us petty and unthinking (we just accept everything 'by faith' right - which means we've never had an intellectual thought in our heads - we're actually just people who are still living in the dark ages before the enlightenment and science set us free from all this superstitious mumbo jumbo - OK maybe I'm taking Ian Bell, Ian McWhirter and Alan Taylor in the Herald too seriously - maybe I'm just being defensive) God's love and self communication invites all of us to something better, individuals, communities, nations, all of creation. God's love is transformative and that puts a responsibility on the Christian to live like it's true. Christianity was always a challenge to empire and power, it was always prophetic in the biggest sense, counter cultural and counter intuitive - (see the Sermon on the Mount if you need that confirmed).

The point of this blog is to challenge me, to make me accountable; it's thinking out loud and sharing the journey in case anyone happens across it and is maybe is in the same place, struggling with the same issues. It's not an intellectual journey (cos it's too easy to dismiss it as that) more a thinking journey but with some very clear issues of practice which for me are highlighted by conversations with people like Aaron and Matt and Stephen on the streets.

I'm going to have a look over the next few blogs at my summer reading so I'm getting the stuff about intellectualism out of the way first because it might look like that at first glance.

Here are the books - I'll be back.....

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Christian Ethics

2009-08-04T12:54:00.002+01:00

So I have found myself pondering some deep spiritual questions while I've been on holiday and I guess the one which is exercising me most at the moment is - "what is the moral and ethical stance one needs to take as a Christian, when one is in receipt of (what my husband terms) "a free cat"". That is to say, a cat which has adopted you, which hangs out with you all day and evening, a cat which has miaowed conversations with you where you swear you can actually tell what it is saying, which you really like having around but - and this is where the "free" bit comes in - you don't have to feed or pay vets bills for and who actually belongs to someone else.

Cat - cos that is what we call him, not actually knowing his real name, is now a permanent fixture. He's there first thing when you wake up and come down stairs, he likes to sit on the couch beside you and snooze when you're reading, he follows you around, he sits on your lap when you watch telly. Even when he goes outside it's usually to sit on your window sill watching you or on the chairs in your back garden.

The slightly difficult times are when Cat is sitting on your lap or snuggled up next to you and the neighbours, who actually own Cat, walk passed your window. We don't know these neighbours at all - and maybe that's the thing which should be exercising me as a Christian - but what do you do - go to their door and explain that their cat is now hanging out in your house from first thing till - and this is particularly difficult - you pick him up from the couch and put his little furry self out of your back door at 10.30 p.m. into the dark and cold (well it is August in Scotland) in the hope that he'll head home. We still have the back door open a lot because it is still quite muggy so it's difficult to stop Cat coming in. And what if - this is the worst thing - the neighbours object to him coming in our house and ask us to stop - because it's too late now - we are all really attached to him.

Ah well - as always, suggestions and comments welcomed!

Weeping Woman

2009-07-29T12:24:00.006+01:00

I've just been to the excellent exhibition 'The Discovery of Spain' at the National Gallery in Edinburgh. It has a lot of fabulous paintings as well as a few really dull ones, not a big fan of some sentimentalist paintings of children (apart from the Millais which is beautiful).

I discovered a few Scottish artists I wasn't really aware of and their pictures were amazing, from Roberts with his complex drawings of interiors of cathedrals and the external ornament of the Alhambra, to Phillip and his fantastic unfinished work of small Spanish boys playing at bull fighting - which was among my favourites. The Velazquez and El Greco - some of them familiar from the main gallery. Some really incredible water colours by Arthur Melville, another Scottish artist

But last of all in the final gallery a really powerful painting by Picasso called the Weeping Woman. Apparently he made a number of studies on this theme at the same time as he was painting Guernica and it is incredibly moving. I love icons and I think this is a painting that I could pray with. It's the anguish and pain of the woman for the loss and awful destruction during the Spanish Civil War and it's all the more powerful for the fact that the woman appears to be wearing her best suit and her hat with the flower in it. An ordinary woman caught up in tragic circumstances.

If you get a chance to see it you should go.

Mysteries of the Universe

2009-07-23T20:16:00.005+01:00

How come I work hard, have a good salary and am going on holiday to Ardnamurchan and staying in a caravan, but my son is a student and has no money and he's just back from Mallorca, looking fabulously tanned and relaxed.

Hmm - something not quite right with this! Maybe I should start an online poll - Mallorca or Ardnamurchan - which one would you opt for?

Happy Birthday Mo!!

2009-07-15T18:13:00.005+01:00

My maladjusted friend asks the question on her blog - what do you do on a significant birthday? My suggestion would be to take some time to do an "examen of consciousness". You can do this looking back on a period of time, usually at the end of each day, but maybe also a week or a month or a year or a decade! Maybe after a significant event like a holiday. It's based on a belief that God is constantly revealing himself to us through our life and human experience.

Take some time out by yourself (or you can do this as a small group or as a family), light a candle, take some time to become aware of God's loving presence and look back over the day , taking time to think what you were doing at specific times, and ask 2 small questions;

"For what moment today am I most grateful?"

"For what moment today am I least grateful?"

Or you could frame the questions slightly differently;

"When today did I have the greatest sense of belonging to myself, others, God?"

"When today did I have the least sense of belonging?"

It's way of reflecting back on our day (or decade) and noticing consciously how we felt at different times. By doing this we can discern the ways that God is moving in our lives, how God has been present to us. What brought life - consolation - it might be small things like a child laughing or a sunrise (or a helpful doughnut person!). The things that bring us life and draw us towards God. It helps us also to be aware of when we felt further from God - desolation - a phone call or a conversation which left us feeling bad about ourselves or our circumstances, feeling disconnected from God. We might normally pass these moments by and think they are insignificant, but when we take time to reflect we can begin to see patterns in our lives. We can then bring these reflections back to God and ask for clarity or further insight. God speaks to us through our deepest feelings and yearnings.

Keeping a journal can help us to note the things which are significant, reflecting on them over a longer period.

If you click on the link here there is an examen, "Review of the Day", that you can download onto your iPod.

Doing Nothing

2009-07-14T17:23:00.004+01:00

I was at an event on Friday. We were asked to think what it would be like to do nothing for 15 minutes during the work day and then taken through a relaxation exercise. I'm pretty good at engaging with this stuff because I've had a bit of practise in both leading and participating in Ignatian meditation. The person up front challenged us to think about whether we took time out of our day to consciously relax and unwind.

When I got home the weather was fab, hot, sunny, blue skies so I took Karl Rahner into the back garden (and the cat of course!) and started to read. I've said before that you really cannot hurry Rahner, you have to read him slowly and meditatively and let him percolate, so I stopped for a bit and decided, thinking of what was said that morning, that I just needed to notice the moment. So I stopped, closed my eyes and listened. I'm very fortunate to live in the country and there are times around our house when there is virtual silence. I listened, and off in the distance was aware of the very faint hum of cars passing on a road far away; birds singing, some little song birds, some seagulls, the odd caw of a crow; the low mechanical rotor of a small plane and then the thrum of an engine of a bigger plane way up high in the skies; I heard the papery sound of the leaves rustling in the breeze, swishing and swaying; the small crack of wood expanding in the heat.

After a bit I opened my eyes and looked around, the garden looks lovely, lots of colour in the plants in the borders; the green lawn; the swallows swooping and flying high up in the blue; I watched a big white fluffy cloud evaporate over the course of a few minutes, it changed from a skull, to a dragon, to a phoenix, to a small cotton wool ball, to some wisps of white gossamer and then just disappeared; I saw the trees, the different shades of green, the different shaped leaves; the cat sleeping under my chair with it's tail sticking out; little insects, ants, small beetles and tiny spiders bustling back and forward.

Smelled the baked earth and the hot paving slabs; the smell of sunshine and outdoors; felt the breeze on my face; my feet touching the earth.

And I meditated on Rahner's words

"The doctrine of this grace and it's fulfillment, therefore, bids us keep ourselves radically open in faith, hope and love for the ineffable, unimaginable and nameless absolute future of God which is coming, and bids us never close ourselves before there is nothing more to close because nothing will be left outside of God, since we shall be wholly in God and he shall be wholly in us."

Doing nothing - I can highly recommend it.

Adopted by cat!

2009-07-02T19:50:00.005+01:00

It's official - the cat next door has adopted us. We have been on nodding acquaintance with the cat for some time, but 2 weeks ago it takes to following us and then sitting on our windowsill, it miaows. The rain then becomes torrential and the cat remains on our windowsill, miaowing. We cave and let it in! Then it goes like this..

I am working from home - walk into the kitchen - cat is on windowsill, miaows and tries to get in the window. I walk through to the utility room, cat jumps off windowsill and sits at back door, miaows. I walk through to the study to work, cat sits at front door, miaows. I am working, cat starts to jump up at front door handle, miaows. I walk back through to kitchen, cat appears and sits on the windowsill, miaows - you get my drift...

I think, ah well should maybe just go into back garden and work out there before cat damages self jumping at door handle. Take all my gear outside. Cat comes and sits at my feet, miaows. House so hot that doors at the back are open. Cat decides to go into house, miaows.

I think the cat is lonely and comes and hangs out with us, miaowing, while it's owners - do cats have owners, or just people they use who feed them and give them some place to sleep? - are out. With the back door open these last few days because of the heat, cat now strolls into house, miaowing. Tried to confine it's ownership of house to kitchen but cat now feels free to wander at will, miaowing. Doesn't really like to get stroked prefers to just come and sit near you, miaowing.

Cat now appears to be in house each night I come home! usually it does eventually go home, but has now taken to sitting outside daughter's bedroom window at night, miaowing.

Did I mention that this is the miaowing-est cat I ever came across?

I couldn't have done it without David

2009-06-23T20:14:00.009+01:00

Well Saturday night / Sunday morning found me doing the Moonwalk with my sister, niece and daughter and around 10,000 others, mostly women). My sister had the idea, lets do this as it'll be an incentive to deal with the fitness and it's a great cause. Now sometimes my sister has great ideas - it was her suggestion to do the Great Wall of China trek last year and the fitness thing has been an issue and it is a great cause...so we signed up and have been training for the past few months. 26.2 miles, starting at midnight (well actually 12.15 a.m. cos we were in the last group off) walking through the night around the streets of Edinburgh, including up to Dunsapie Loch on the top of Arthur's Seat. The castle and other main buildings around Edinburgh were floodlit in pink and there were people outside their houses in their pyjamas saying "well done girls keep going".

At 11 miles the people who were doing the "half moon" turned off with 2 more miles to do to get back to the finish. Unfortunately at that point, having signed up for the "full moon", we had another 15.2 miles still to walk! I didn't know you could do the "half moon" and to be honest it would have been a bit of a dawdle really. But no my sister thought we should just go for the full thing.

About 15 miles in walking along Seafield Road was when the knees started to really feel the pain - really wondered what I was going to do - would I make it? After some paracetamol and ibuprofen I was making it - just. Then the blisters started - 2 corkers. In exactly the same place as my sister got hers - (design issue with Asics trainers? - we were both wearing them) And in spite of my Nike blister proof socks! Then there was the half hour wait in a toilet queue while our joints and muscles stiffened up!

When we got to the 22 mile marker all of us got our iPods (and other types of mp3 players!) out. My choice - David Crowder - the man is after all a legend. I cranked up the volume and gritted my teeth and we ground out the last 4 miles. I've never been so happy to see the sign that said 500 metres to go.

We walked over the finish line at 9.40 together holding each other's hands high and stumbled up to claim our medals.

Was it worth it?

Moonwalk Edinburgh set out to raise £3million pounds, £0.5m going to Maggie's Centres in Scotland, £1.5m to the Breast Cancer Institute at the Western General in Edinburgh, rebuilding the breast cancer ward and opening a new theatre to cut waiting times, and support for the roll out of the anti-hair loss system into each hospital in Scotland.

Was it worth the pain and the exhaustion....you bet.

Generosity

2009-06-20T13:30:00.003+01:00

Walking along towards "Life" on Saturday night about 2.00 a.m. we were stopped by a couple and asked the inevitable "What's a Street Pastor?" - so I got into conversation with L. She described herself as a 'wild child' and whispered to me what she does for a living - she's a stripper; and she talked so lovingly about her godly grandmother who "goes to church all the time" and has obviously had a huge impact on her life, she clearly just loves and accepts her granddaughter as she is and the impact of that love was obvious. L clearly admires and loves her very much. We got into a conversation about the feeding of the five thousand (L raised the issue) and she explained to me that how she saw it was that Jesus had something when other people had nothing and that he shared what he had with the people who had nothing. The whole story was about generosity - living life and never seeing someone else in need when you can help them with what you have. As she talked I became aware of God saying to me - "she's amazing isn't she, look at her heart, she's so lovely - I really wanted you to meet her because I knew you'd love her". I know that sounds a bit crazy, even maybe to some, pretentious, but in that encounter, I kind of got why Jesus hung out with "tax collectors and sinners" and how he feels about us. God doesn't just put up with us, tolerate us, accept us - he really does adore us, everyone - even, in fact especially, the people that the church might not normally "approve" of. We see Christ in the 'least of these'.

As if to underline the theme as we walked back about 2.45 we bumped into some young guys who had bought a whole big pizza and found that they weren't really that hungry, so they asked the SPs if we'd like a piece. So we munched pizza and blethered to them for a bit. Then the owner of the pizza place, who I guess is Muslim, came out with a box of pizza and handed it to us and said - "you help when you speak to people outside our shop so we wanted you to have this". So we took the pizza back to the other SP team back at base.

So I guess, whether you're a godly grandmother, a wild child, a street pastor, you never know the impact you'll make on someone else's life by being generous whether it's with your time, your attention, your love or your pizza!

"Happier not Richer"

2009-06-11T20:01:00.005+01:00

Spent the day in Stirling considering issues around how we can create a "Greener" Scotland. What I found interesting was a graph which mapped satisfaction with life against the gross domestic product of Scotland. What it demonstrated was that although our GDP has increased steadily over the last decades our life satisfaction doesn't actually change - it's pretty much plateaued. We also thought about the government's strategic objective of creating a Scotland which has sustainable economic growth, but we considered what we meant by that, is this about more consumption? If we keep using energy at the same or a higher rate this has a consequence globally. What if every country desires to grow it's economy based on consumption and the greater use of energy? It is clear that things need to change.

When participants were asked to describe their ideal world of the future, they talked about things like being happy, having a good balance in their lives, having close relationships and connections with others, with family and with community, meaningful work and activity. Actually no-ones ideal world was about buying more "stuff". People were describing values which were beyond material wealth. Someone speculated that perhaps beyond the economic downturn people might not return to their old patterns of consumption.

We had a great input from the Children's Parliament and they said some pretty fantastic stuff like one boy's horror at people "shopping as a hobby, it's buying stuff you don't even want or need, it's over-consuming" and a girl who talked about us being less selfish and knowing the difference between "what we like, what we need and what we want" and learning to know the difference. These kids are about 11 years old!

Check out their video here.

We talked about some of the things we can do in addition to looking at our own patterns of consumption and energy use, maybe we could do some of these in the church

Create new spaces which facilitate new conversations.

Ask outrageous questions.

Articulate a vision of what we want to see.

You can also check out my maladjusted friend who's made a good start on this kind of stuff.

Emergent & Rahner

2009-06-04T21:01:00.007+01:00

As I am reading my way through Rahner I increasingly feel that Rahner and Emergent go together - so I was having a Google on this basis and came across this article here on Prodigal Kiwi(s) blog.

Prodigal Kiwi is quoting from a paper by Declan Marmion titled “Theology, Spirituality, and the Role of Experience in Karl Rahner,” Louvain Studies, 29, 2004, 49-76 and I particularly liked a couple of quotes; Rahner

...transposes questions of God into the transcending adventure of human freedom rather than speaking of faith as primarily an ascent of truth... This means helping people to accept and recognise an immediate closeness of God within the ordinary and extraordinary drama of their own life…

I also liked this quote which ties the spirituality of Rahner back into lived theology and social justice;

...The contemporary focus on spiritual experience ... can easily fall into both the “despotism of the sacred” and the “narcissism of the self”, whereas what is needed is a genuinely personalised religion that unites affectivity, intelligence and social responsibility in the light of faith...

I really like this so I must get back to Google and see if I can find the article. Oh yea, and I think that if I were one for labels I would now officially be a post-evangelical emergent Christian

Part 2: Lived Theology

2009-05-30T14:20:00.009+01:00

For people who don't know - I'm a Street Pastor. The most common question we get asked is "What is a SP?" Well there are 20 of us from different churches in the town. We undertook a 12 week training course covering CPR, counselling, sociology, rape crisis etc. etc. We have 2 teams of 3/4 people out every Saturday night in the town between 10 pm and around 3 am (sometimes it can be a bit later depending whether we're involved in a conversation or an incident). We are on rota every 3 weeks. We carry space blankets, flip flops for girls who take off their incredibly high heels and try and walk home barefoot, often there is broken glass so it can be dangerous. We hand out spikeys which girls can put in the tops of their bottles to stop them getting their drinks spiked. We have sharps containers and heavy gloves for picking up glass. We put any bottles or glasses we find into the bins so they can't be lifted in the heat of the moment and maybe used to assault someone. We are there to help, and to create a safer atmosphere in the town and we're there to listen to anyone who wants to talk to us. We're not there to talk about God, although if people do want to talk about God and faith and raise the subject with us, then we are happy to do this.

It's been 6 months since Street Pastors started in Dunfermline. I haven't blogged much about it because I'm conscious that we are talking to all sorts of people and they tell us all kinds of stories about themselves and I wouldn't want to compromise anyone's confidentiality. The response from people on the streets is overwhelmingly positive we could probably count on the fingers of one hand how many negative comments we've had (all of us) in the last 6 months. Women are really pleased we are there because we're someone safe and if they need us we're here. We get hugs and banter and they tell us about their night and thank us for the flip flops and when we hand out spikeys they tell us about times they or their friends have had drinks spiked. Sometimes they have things they want to speak about and we listen and we care. They sometimes split up from boyfriends and cry on benches and we make sure they're safe and listen. Sometimes they get comprehensively drunk and need someone to lean on so they get to a taxi and safely home. Young men are interesting because they too, randomly shout to us that they think it's great or give us the thumbs up when we pass by, but we've been struck recently when we've reflected back over the time, about how many young men want to talk about things that have happened or things they are worried about. Some of them are a bit taken aback at how much they open up to a stranger. We have serious conversations, nonsense conversations, deeply spiritual conversations, conversations which break your heart.

When I think about why I do it - it's about connection. Karl Rahner talks about everyone having a "pre-apprehension of being", the mind reaching out beyond any given object towards infinite being and therefore God. That infinity which we experience ourselves exposed to also permeates our everyday activities. He calls this transcendence. "A person can of course shrug his shoulders and ignore this experience of transcendence. He can devote himself to his concrete world, his work, his activity in the realm of time and space ...a person also has the experience of emptiness, of inner fragility and ...of the absurdity of what confronts him. But he also experiences hope, the movement towards liberating freedom". People might be so caught up with the everyday that they do not reflect on this at all, or they might be aware of it but decide never to explore it. We're not there taking God to people, because as I've said before, he is already there; but I think if I'm about anything at all - it would be to prompt through an action or a word people asking the bigger question of what exists beyond the horizon of the everyday.

Part 1: Philosphical Theology

2009-05-28T18:07:00.006+01:00

We had a discussion at the housegroup last night after listening to some inputs on "faith". So, OK, honestly I really struggled with it. I wasn't wilfully mishearing the thing - I just couldn't get it. How it sounded to me was "this is the way to get God to give us stuff" (I know guys - that's not how you hear it) how do I build faith, how do I get healing - for myself and also for others. But really it felt to me like "if you can see that the supernatural world is more real than the natural world then you can ask God for anything". I worry that this is about trying to commodify God, if only we can reduce him to a set of formulae, then everything will be fine. The trouble is God doesn't think like us. He just doesn't obey our rules and we cannot cannot cannot put God in a box.

I think my head is just in a different place ("as usual" I hear my friends shout!). One of the places my head is in is with Karl Rahner. Reading him has been interesting. It is slow going because I don't seem to have had too much time recently but also because it's not the easiest read. It is brilliant and requires quite a bit of thought and concentration, but he has taken me further down the whole philosophy track. The way Rahner sees things is just different. He talks about God in terms of holy mystery and that makes sense to me.

So I found myself listening to a podcast by Emergent Village (you can download it free on iTunes) - a discussion involving John D. Caputo and Richard Kearney, 2 pre-eminent philosophers and people of faith. Some of the comments they made were really interesting to me, here are some highlights:

80% American teens self identify as Christians but their understanding of God is as a cosmic butler, there when you call, it's a hyper individualised experience, "me and God - we talk, we have an understanding", the "fix all" God – if we call loud enough he’ll come to the rescue. They talked about how this traces its roots back to Greek philosophical thought not Jewish or Christian. God as patriarch, emperor, caretaker of the world - a god that one isn’t really involved with most of the time just, when you need him – distant and abstract – don’t think about it till you need a fix “god was born for me”, and is deeply embedded in our liberal individual tradition so prevalent in the west.

But to think about ourselves not as an autonomous individual but someone who is “laid claim to” by something that had us before we had it, then our faith becomes not about rights but about responsibilities; not about individuals but about community, about ‘the other’, the least of these.

Richard Kearney talks about Etty Hillesum – ‘An Interrupted Life ’ who eventually died in Auschwitz. When asked how God could allow the death camps to happen she replied “We must help God to be God". "One should want to be a balm on many wounds." We need to preserve within us the dwelling space for God to be and to enter the world even in the midst of hell. This is the God of the constant call – unless we open the door the messiah can’t enter. Answer evil in terms of vanquishing it – not individually but by seeing God in “the least of these” Christ enters, the humble and broken God. We need to treat each moment in time as a portal through which the messiah is trying to enter. I understand through Jesus, the vulnerable God, a God who calls modestly and incessantly.

I think that's why I struggle with both a simplistic view of God and, what feels like, a liberal individual view of God.

Now I know this is tricky and I probably haven't explained it that well and you might just think that this is some kind of intellectual exercise, but in all honesty all this grounds itself for me in my experience out on the streets on a Saturday night as a street pastor. It might seem philosophical but actually this is really about "lived" theology.

Living in Exile

2009-05-18T21:08:00.001+01:00

I like to listen to podcasts in my car on the way to and from work and today I was listening to a podcast from Artisan Church and a few thoughts came together. I've talked before about Michael Frost's book Exiles:Living Missionally in a Post-Christian Culture, which is excellent. How do we live authentically in our communities? Artisan were considering this passage which holds some keys about how we do this.

Jeremiah 29:5-8 (New Living Translation)
“Build homes, and plan to stay. Plant gardens, and eat the food they produce. Marry and have children. Then find spouses for them so that you may have many grandchildren. Multiply! Do not dwindle away! And work for the peace and prosperity of the city where I sent you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, for its welfare will determine your welfare.”

I like the bit about working for the peace and prosperity of the communities in which we live - 'for its welfare will determine your welfare' - that's an interesting thought and I'm not sure that it's one which most churches consider when thinking about their purpose. Our church statement is; “Followers of Jesus Christ; a welcoming community of people, encouraging one another to reach our potential in God, living and working in society to creatively share His message of hope for all.” , which I like (we worked hard to get a form of words which talked about us as a community of believers as well as our place in the wider community). But it's interesting to consider a church statement which simply says something like 'Working for the peace and prosperity of the community we live in' - I quite like that.

Kester Brewin in his fantastic book 'The Complex Christ' says - ‘The local Church needs to ‘incarnate’ in a specific location and a specific culture..we too often experience Church as an organisation that has absolutely no need for it’s surrounding community or area. It’s an appendage – something slightly apart and independent – not needing the neighbouring culture in order to survive'

He says, ‘Churches must aspire to become centres of gift exchange in the broadest sense ..whatever gifts there are in the community, the church should be the place where they can be exchanged or shared .. this is about engaging with the local environment and having open boundaries ..it’s about declaring our interdependence with the locality we find ourselves in’

Artisan Church here.

Kester here

While I'm on the Subject...

2009-05-07T17:08:00.006+01:00

Since I'm in poetry mode - here is, probably, my favourite. The language is really beautiful and clever and it's a real joy just to read the words and hear the sound of them. But the ideas and the complexity behind it makes me reflect on issues which are close to my heart.

As Kingfishers Catch Fire

As kingfishers catch fire, dragonflies draw flame;
As tumbled over rim in roundy wells
Stones ring; like each tucked string tells, each hung bell's
Bow swung finds tongue to fling out broad its name;
Each mortal thing does one thing and the same:
Deals out that being indoors each one dwells;
Selves -- goes itself; _myself_ it speaks and spells,
Crying _What I do is me: for that I came_.

I say more: the just man justices;
Keeps grace: that keeps all his goings graces;
Acts in God's eye what in God's eye he is --
Christ. For Christ plays in ten thousand places,
Lovely in limbs, and lovely in eyes not his
To the Father through the features of men's faces.

Gerard Manley Hopkins

What does it mean? - I think it's worthwhile taking some time to think about the themes of this poem. It's talking about the unique thing that each created thing does. The reason for it's creation and being true to that calling, whether a dragonfly or a stringed instrument. It's talking about the interiority of our being - a good Ignatian theme - inside ourselves (indoors) - our very essence - what we're here for. What I do is me - it's more than just something objective - it's at the very heart of me - it is me.

What does the just person do? - they 'justice' - what does a Christian do - what is our essence - surely it is to 'Christ'. There's an interesting thing to reflect on and pray with - what does it mean for me to 'Christ'? The word Christian literally means 'little Christ'. Christ plays through us, through our hands and our feet, through our faces. We were created to reflect our Creator and everywhere we go, to take his likeness. To keep grace - that keeps all our goings graces.

The Summer Day

2009-05-03T21:14:00.002+01:00

I recently came across this poem again which I love;

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean-
The one who has flung herself out of the grass,
The one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
Who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
Who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down into the grass,
How to kneel down in the grass,
How to be idle and blessed,
How to stroll through the fields,
Which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

Mary Oliver

It's a challenge - we only have the one life; wild and precious - what will I do with it?

Books Books Books

2009-04-27T19:56:00.004+01:00

I said I'd come back and let you know what I am reading just now.

'> '> '> '>

They are all worth a look and although from very different Christian traditions - are remarkably in tune with one another. I am about to start "Foundations of Christian Faith; Introduction to the Idea of Christianity" by Karl Rahner. I'm looking forward to this as I've just finished reading one of his more devotional books, "Encounters with Silence" which is interesting as, although quite profound (he is a philosopher and theologian), is very much rooted in the everyday and our experience of God within this context. Now that I've read a bit about Rahner through the SPCK introduction, this seems to be very much his concern, and the Ignatian influence in his work is very strong.

His work also appears to be notoriously difficult to read, but I like a challenge, so I'll keep you posted as to how I get on!

Bells and Buchanan Street

2009-04-23T20:32:00.004+01:00

Had an interesting experience - I was walking down Buchanan Street towards Central Station at lunchtime and the Tron church bell was ringing. It really struck me as quite unusual - you don't really hear church bells that often, particularly in the middle of the week, in the middle of the day and it rang for quite a while. I thought my reaction was interesting. I became aware of the church, and the sound caused me to look up - up to the bell tower and beyond that, up to the sky. And it made me think - I was conscious of this sound breaking into the day and into the consciousness of hundreds of shoppers and business people as they walked through Glasgow. When the bell stopped everything returned to normal - the noise returned and the momentary sense of being aware of something different and unusual, passed.

It really stayed with me - there was something about it. To take a moment to look up and recognise a reality outside of yourself and the everyday. To become aware of a church and all that that might signify of God, of something transcendent. I know that seems a lot to get from just a bell ringing but it reminded me that the church can create something different, change the usual atmosphere and cause people to look outside of themselves and become aware of the sky, of some higher reality. Maybe it was just a tiny bit prophetic.

"The Flying Monkey Loves the Cinemarrr"

2009-04-15T10:57:00.007+01:00

The great thing about Sky+ is that you can pause the telly for a few minutes and then fast forward the adverts, because lets face it, most of them are absolutely rubbish. However, recently I've found myself surfing the channels for a particular advert which I love, it's a bit surreal, clever and makes me laugh like a wean.

YouTube - Orange Wedensdays: Vicki and The Witch and Flying Monkey

Enjoy!

So Many Books - So Little Time

2009-04-15T09:55:00.003+01:00

Had a number of books that I had lined up for these holidays - a couple I needed to finish and 4 new ones. So far I've completed one of my "finish off" books and couple of my new ones.

What I found quite interesting was that I was reading books from quite different Christian traditions but in fact they were dealing with pretty much the same territory. It's the "more than" gospel. Christian belief and practice are more than "getting saved - going to heaven" - it's about Christ's life, death and resurrection "for us" but also his ongoing work "in us". It's about what we believe and how we behave. It's about being better "for" our communities and our world, rather than better "than". It's about the "done" and the "continuing". Christ continues to form us. We're not loved because we are Christians - we are loved because we exist, because we have been created. It's not personal salvation, it's never been personal salvation, it's about salvation for the entire universe, the whole of creation being brought back into harmony with it's Creator. And we have a part to play in that. It's a way of life, me living more and more in harmony with God, which goes on forever. We are returning to what we were originally created to be, we are returning because the Kingdom of Heaven is near.

And to live there we have to trust that what God says about us is true - we are the beloved of God. We are "first fruits".

It reminds me of a couple of Annie Dillard quotes

"All day long I feel created. I can see the blown dust on the skin on the back of my hand, the tiny trapezoids of chipped clay, moistened and breathed alive."

and

"We have been as usual asking the wrong question. It does not matter a hoot what the mockingbird on the chimney is singing. The real and proper question is: Why is it beautiful?"

Maybe we're asking the wrong question - not "How am I saved?" but "Why am I saved?"

Gym or not to Gym?

2009-04-04T18:30:00.005+01:00

I had to decide whether to renew my gym membership recently, which I really could not justify as I'd hardly gone at all the previous year, in spite of being in pretty intensive fitness training so I could trek along the Great Wall of China!! Then when I came back from China, I was determined to keep my fitness up - so much for that notion.

Anyway had been chatting to a friend and he was extolling the virtues of the Wii Fit - so I decided that there was more chance of me using that than using the gym membership (and it was cheaper) so took the plunge and now once I get through my programme of yoga and muscle stuff I love to play on the step and the hoola-hoop and snowboarding and ski jumping. But my favourite thing of all time is the jogging.

The best dog to follow is the one just as you're coming off the first bridge - I love to run after this dog cos then you get to run along the beach, waving at all the Miis, with the tide sweeping in and out and when I see my daughter's Mii it gives me an incentive to go faster and overtake her!! Wii Island - where the sun always shines, people are friendly and the scenery is extremely cool.

Philosophically Speaking

2009-04-02T16:38:00.008+01:00

One of the great things about being a mother is to watch and participate in every age and stage of your children's lives and development and to enjoy and stress over, to varying degrees, the challenges each one of them brings. I've loved every stage of my kids lives, the hugs and the new discoveries that they make, the milestones. My new milestone involves reading and discussing my son's philosophy essays (and his politics and Scottish history essays too), which is a completely brilliant experience. Recently he has been looking at 'The Problem of Evil' in relation to belief in God.

"Despite the wide ranging theories of what the defining characteristics of God would be, the majority, including the Judaeo-Christian faiths, can settle on these seven central features of God and the world he created…
1. God is perfectly good.
2. God is omniscient (knows everything).
3. God is omnipotent (all-powerful).
4. There is evil.
5. If God is perfectly good then he will prevent all evil that he knows about and can prevent.
6. If God is omniscient then he knows about all evil.
7. If God is omnipotent then he can prevent all evil that he knows about.

However, these seven characteristics go on to form a paradoxical contradiction, known as ‘The Problem of Evil’. If God is omniscient then he must know about all evil, therefore, because he is all good he would wish to eradicate all evil and he can achieve this due to his omnipotence. Thus the conclusion can be made that there is no evil, which is a direct contradiction to point 4"

Phew! We had a really interesting discussion around this because it relates to some stuff I'd been thinking about anyway (see previous post - Is God really sovereign? How does that fit with 'free will' does God set self-imposed limits). It is a really interesting topic and I would highly recommend reading his essay (although he hasn't had a mark back yet!?)

Actually the issue comes back to what we believe about transcendence, immanence and incarnation funnily enough, and the thing which reframes many of the arguments for me is that God did not simply sit back objectively and take no part in his creation and never experience the evil of the world. God came as a baby, put himself into the midst of his creation and suffered with those who suffered and wept with those who wept. God experienced evil personally.

"Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross."

This is the creator of all we see and don't see, this is the God who held the oceans in his hands, who sits above the circle of the earth, who created the stars - this God.

He wraps his essay up by saying

"Albert Einstein once famously said - “God is subtle but he is not malicious”, suggesting that God can be enigmatic and lack of human understanding may cause a perception that God can be distant or cruel in allowing evil, but it is no more than a misunderstanding of God’s logic."

In this Lent and Easter season we can see and experience again the God who didn't walk away.

Things I'm Reflecting On

2009-04-02T15:34:00.007+01:00

I've been on an interesting spiritual journey for a number of years now - very influenced by Ignatian spirituality. This forms around some ways of living my everyday life and being open to

Discovering who I really am
Directing myself towards God
Noticing God's actions in my life
Responding to the movements of my heart
Discovering the nature of my deepest desire
Seeking God's will
Becoming free of all that distracts me from my deepest desire
Making choices in line with my truest self
Connecting my lived experience with the life, death and resurrection of Christ
Responding to God's love for me
Finding God in all things

I'm hoping to do something called 'making the exercises' later this year when the liturgical year turns. But all of this coupled more recently with my experiences on the streets as a Pastor has led me on a theological journey. It's to do with lining up my theology and my 'felt experience' of God. I'm not where I was in my understanding of God, of how The Creator works in the world. So I'm asking some big questions - I know they might not be the things that other people might grapple with but they are real for me;

Does God really have 'a plan' for our lives? Don't have any problem with God having a purpose.
How transcendent is God and how immanent? What level of involvement does God have in my life?
How much is God working and active in the world and what does that look like, how does it feel to people and how do God and I co-create?
Is God really sovereign? How does that fit with 'free will' does God set self-imposed limits (which I will come back to in a subsequent post)
How do I reconcile the God of the Old Testament to the God revealed in the New Testament?

In all of this the incarnation is the touchstone, the place I anchor myself - Christ, God making himself as vulnerable as any one could possibly be, born as a human infant, subject to torture and a harrowing death.

At my meeting with my Spiritual Director as I discussed all of this particular theological journeying, she suggested I read the theologian Karl Rahner. Did the 'google' thing and came across this;

"Rahner believed that the polarity between "transcendence" and "immanence" was false, being imposed upon Christianity by secular world views. Human experience is unintelligible unless it is interpreted in light of the transcendent mystery of God... Humans transcend themselves in every act of questioning and thinking, by which they demonstrate themselves to be both part of the natural world and yet simultaneously oriented towards the mysterious horizon of being that Christians know as God, the infinite horizon of hope and love. The dilemma of immanence or transcendence of God must thus be overcome without sacrificing either. Due to the ability of humans to discern the transcendent element of their situation, there is an implicit knowledge of God latent within humanity, which it is the function of transcendental reflection to identify. The sense of relation to God, a natural knowledge of God, he terms "transcendental revelation," but is inadequate in itself and needs to be supplemented by a supernatural knowledge of God, or "categorical revelation." This revelation reaches its climax and fulfillment in Jesus Christ."

That pretty much sums up where I'm at, but much more articulately, and I've bought the book - the really big thick one called "Foundations of Christian Faith: Introduction to the Idea of Christianity" and now I'm really looking forward to reading it.

Here's another quote from Rahner

"Emptiness is only a disguise for an intimacy of God's, that God's silence, the eerie stillness, is filled by the Word without words, by Him who is above all names, by Him who is all in all. And his silence is telling us that He is here.”

Campfires and Bridges

2009-03-12T20:12:00.004Z

We had a discussion in our housegroup a few weeks back about social justice and serving the community, cos that's what we're talking about at the moment (actually it's what we've been talking about and been involved in for quite a while now).

We started talking about the metaphor of bridging between the church and the community and someone in the group (the maladjusted one!) said she didn't really like the bridging thing any more or see it as that helpful as it implied that people have to come across to the church (although it might also imply that we have to do something about crossing over out of own own comfort zones to where others are). But I think it's a really valid thing to say - she said she believed instead that we needed to just journey alongside people. It reminded me of an article I read on 'small ritual' talking about that very thing, which is really what this blog is about.

"The campfires of Christian communities on the move light the unmapped expanse; beacons for travellers, places of refreshment and shelter, places to share wisdom and warnings about the road. A campfire works by attraction not compulsion; it doesn't have a boundary fence. It's open to approach, and there's a sacred duty of hospitality."

But I particularly liked the second bit of what was said because I think it is very true -

"The trouble is, we're tempted to take our visitors hostage. As soon as they drop their guard we tie them up to prevent them leaving. "It's for your own good," we say, "Don't you know it's *dark* out there!" The assumption is that those who leave our campfire are choosing the darkness, rather than heading for the next campfire on a continuing journey with God. As if campfires were in competition. As if they were final destinations."

We need to let people come and go on their terms, because it's about God reaching out to people. At points he brings people into our orbit so that we can journey with them for a while, care for them and share something of what we understand about God. Ultimately the outreaching and the calling are his, but it's a joy to co-create with God when he asks us to join him.

Slow or Fast?

2009-02-06T19:58:00.011Z

On my Ignatian journey over the last few years, one of my heroes has been Father Larry Gillick SJ. He is absolutely amazing. I have some of his retreats downloaded to my iPod and I love to listen to them. Recently I have been listening again to his Lent retreat. This was partly because I wondered whether we could use this during Lent in our housegroup. We are currently looking at Micah 6.8,

'He has showed you, O man and O woman, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.'

considering our response to this verse and our call to justice and mercy. But we also want to ensure some balance - making room for the contemplative in our lives. We planned to do some sessions in the lead up to Easter, as we have done in Advent - waiting and preparing ourselves for Jesus death and resurrection.

The reason I love Larry Gillick so much is that he has such amazing and profound insights into God and our relationship with our Creator. As I have listened to his inputs and explored the way of St Ignatius I find that my theology has changed significantly. I understand God as the one who seeks after us, who reaches out to us constantly in his infinitely outreaching love; who comes to us according to us, who encourages us to slow down and to take time to look and to find him in the everyday. When I listen to Larry I am uplifted and affirmed by God and his love and care for me.

One of my blog listings on the right hand page is Small Rituals - Steve Collins' blog - Steve is another person who's insights I value. Here is a meditation that he wrote a number of years ago;

take a few moments to consider your feelings about fast and slow

are you a fast person or a slow person? do you want to slow down or speed up? is your life already fast or slow? are you in a fast place or a slow place - spiritually, mentally, physically? do you want to be in a fast place or a slower place? how fast or slow do you want to get there?

do you seek slow love and fast food? or vice versa? is work too fast and travel too slow? or vice versa? are you a contemplative trapped inside a commuter? if the motorway is empty do you slow down or speed up? is your computer too slow or too fast?

opening prayer:

to those who creep towards the kingdom god says welcome. to those who rush towards the kingdom god says welcome to all of you, however you come, in speed and sloth, god says welcome to the door and the arms that are always open wide

slow meditation:
reality is a static image, rolling past at 24 frames per second if we slow the movie down, what will we see?

slow the projector in your head and lose the fluidity embrace the flicker, the jerkiness. allow the frames of your life to disconnect and stop

now your life lies still in front of your eyes, what do you see? play 'spot the difference' with each frozen moment. now you have time to examine carefully each corner and shadow, what details are revealed that you always move too fast to see?

fleeting expressions and imperceptible gestures betraying a truth not discerned, a turning you didn't take, another universe of futures, vanishing from sight

to us the stars stand still, but ancient eyes could not navigate by our skies, the north point of the sky moves in a circle 28000 years around. the north star we know is not the north star of our ancestors or descendants. they will see other constellations

does god see our lives the way we see the stars? innumerable slow movements plotted and understood on charts long before the event, constellations drawn that serve for a while and break up. how slow is reality for god? what do fast and slow mean in eternity, where every tiny moment and endless age are available for detailed inspection. a day like a thousand years, and a thousand years like a day

if we slow down do we see more like god sees? see all the details, creation's crazy minutiae. who would have time to see all that stuff except god? is that why there's so much of it?

how quickly does salvation come? if we slowed our lives down would we see every step and progression? or would its detail still evade us. a blur of motion in the shadows of a static frame. a frozen block in the centre of the movie?

if we slow down will we see what god sees? will we see what god is doing?

have you ever tried?

Larry says that we should walk more slowly, be more attentive, be more receptive to sights and sounds and touches. It is not about producing. We need to spend time in 'unproductive' solitude. We need to be quiet and just receive life and breath. To receive the day and see all that God did.

Dunfermline Street Pastors

2009-01-22T19:48:00.005Z

If you wanted to know what a Street Pastor looks like - here are the Dunfermline SPs.

A fine group of women and men!

"There's Probably No God"

2009-01-16T20:06:00.013Z

So there I was standing in Buchanan Street bus station minding my own business waiting for the bus to Fife, when this bus sidled past me with the slogan on the side. You know - the one that has been paid for by the Humanist Society and Richard Dawkins.

"There's probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life."

I'd heard of it - the atheist bus ad. There was a piece about it on the radio news the other morning and I know the campaign has been running in London and some Spanish cities. And I thought to myself.......is that it "there's probably no God"? Seriously - that's as hard hitting as it gets?! There's probably no God. Is that really any more controversial that the Alpha bus ad.

"If God did exist...what would you ask?"

Not sure if Christians are making a fuss about it - probably. But I think it's quite interesting for a couple of reasons.

The first thing is the statement itself - because as you say a sentence like that it almost begs for something more to be added like "There's probably no God....but then again, there might be"; "There's probably no God....but we're not really sure". I can live with that. (Actually I think it should really be called the agnostic bus ad as it seems a bit undecided.) I guess there are a few reactions that people might have to it; most atheists will really like it but might want it to be stronger; some people will pay no attention to it whatsoever; but there might be a few people who might stop to think - "but then again there might be". So for me I think it's all good.

The second part though is the thing I find really interesting "Now stop worrying and enjoy your life". That, I think, is where atheism becomes a bit of a conundrum - you see when you say something like that then what you are actually starting to do is describe the god you don't believe in. So what kind of god is it atheists don't believe in. Well clearly the god they don't believe in is a god who does not want anyone to enjoy life which is interesting given that Jesus says "I have come to give you life, life in all it's fullness"; a god who you need to worry about because clearly this god is out to get you; this god is literally a "killjoy" - what exactly is it that atheists think that you need to worry about with this god they don't believe in?

I have to say as a person of faith I really enjoy life and don't see the God I believe in as someone I need to worry about, rather the God I believe in is someone who loves, accepts and looks out for me; who knows me and says things like "don't worry about anything".

This might be a bit hackneyed but it looks like me and the atheists have a lot in common - we both don't believe in that same god!

When I spotted the bus I was interested in exactly what the slogan said - so was waiting on another bus to come along which also had the ad on the side so I was sure about the exact wording, but it seemed like that was the only one out of the hundreds of buses coming in and out of the station; there was only one with the ad. Of course the fact that the majority of the buses are owned by someone who is a Christian maybe accounts for the lack of atheist bus ads - which is kind of funny really.

Hopefully Christians won't get their collective knickers in a knot about this as on the whole I think it's interesting and hopefully will give some people the opportunity to tell people about the God they do believe in as opposed to the god they don't.

Cryptic Blog Entry

2009-01-08T20:20:00.004Z

If you've been wondering where I've been hiding over the last couple of weeks, I have to declare that I am caught up in another world - see that's what happens when you have great books to read - but the dilemma I have to face is that before Breaking Dawn - I have to decide - Edward or Jacob. Jacob makes sense on so many levels but I have to say in spite of everything I think it has to be Edward.......

Spiritual Exercise for Epiphany

2008-12-31T15:09:00.008Z

For those who would love to go on retreat but don't have the time to go away - here is something you can do by putting aside some time at home. This spiritual exercise will take you through to Epiphany or the feast of the Magi. Epiphany is the climax of the Advent/Christmas Season and the twelve days of Christmas, which are usually counted from the evening of December 25th until the morning of January 6th, which is the Twelfth Day.

Advent is marked by expectation and anticipation in preparing to celebrate the coming of Jesus. Christmas Day celebrates the birth of Jesus, the incarnation of God and lasts for Twelve days until Epiphany, January 6, which looks ahead to the mission of the church to the world in light of the Nativity.

The term epiphany means "to show" or "to make known" or even "to reveal." We remember the coming of the wise men bringing gifts to visit the Christ child, who by so doing "reveal" Jesus to the world as Lord and King.

As with most aspects of the Christian liturgical calendar, Epiphany has theological significance as a teaching tool in the church. The Wise Men or Magi who brought gifts to the infant Jesus were the first Gentiles to acknowledge Jesus as "King" and so were the first to "show" or "reveal" Jesus to a wider world as the incarnate Christ. This act of worship by the Magi, which corresponded to Simeon’s blessing that this child Jesus would be "a light for revelation to the Gentiles" (Luke 2:32), was one of the first indications that Jesus came for all people, of all nations, of all races, and that the work of God in the world would not be limited to only a few.
The day is now observed as a time of focusing on the mission of the church in reaching others by "showing" Jesus as the Savior of all people. It is also a time of focusing on Christian brotherhood and fellowship, especially in healing the divisions of prejudices in the church.

The Exercise - read through the passage Matthew 2.1-12 and consider that the journey began long before we see the account in Matthew. Take time to reflect on all, some or one of the following aspects of the journey and consider how it relates to you. As you do this you might want to think about it specifically for the year that has passed and anticipate the new year ahead.

1) The decision to set out - what was it that got the Magi to go on this journey?
Question to consider - What are the desires at the heart of me which draw me to something more?

2) Coping - the light of the star fades or is covered in cloud for some of their journey.
Question to consider - What keeps me going when the way ahead is not clear?

3) Travelling together - travelling in community
Question to consider - Where do I find companionship / community on my faith journey?

4) Facing barriers and blocks on the journey - Herod's deception sought to block the journey of the Magi.
Question to consider - Where have I encountered things which might seek to oppose / deceive/ destroy me and act as barriers to my journey?

5) The moment of encountering mystery - a surprise ending to the Magi's search for a King
Question to consider - Where have I found and encountered God in unexpected ways on my journey - where have I been surprised by God?

6) The choice to give - brought and offered gifts
Question to consider - Where have I received the giftedness of others and what gifts has God given me that I might share with others?

7) Going home by another way - changed by their experience, their encounter with mystery
Question to consider - How am I changed by my encounter with God or where my sense of who God is has been changed or is changing?

By entering into their story we can be helped to find meaning in our own story.

This is a great exercise to do at the close of the year - a bit like an examen of consciousness where we discern the movement of God in our lives. I did this last year and am taking time to look at it again this year.

Advent

2008-12-22T11:42:00.005Z

Our Advent time on Saturday focused on the Prince of Peace and I used some different poems and meditations to help us to engage with the peace of Christ. Paying attention to Advent is so helpful for me. Even if I can only snatch 5 or 10 minutes to still myself and wait for God. As I slow down and sit in silence I find I become much more conscious of God's presence. These poems can be used for prayer and meditation, for simply sitting with or for reading out loud to ourselves and letting God's peace pervade us.

Silent God

This is my prayer –
That though I may not see
I be aware
Of the silent God who stands by me

That though I may not feel
I be aware
Of the mighty love which doggedly follows me

That though I may not respond
I be aware
That God – silent, mighty God
Waits each day
Quietly, hopefully, persistently
For me
For me alone

The Peace of Wild Things

When despair for the world grows in me

and I wake in the night at the least sound

in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,

I go and lie down where the wood drake

rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.

I come into the peace of wild things

who do not tax their lives with forethought

of grief. I come into the presence of still water.

And I feel above me the day-blind stars

waiting with their light. For a time

I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

Wendell Berry

Emptiness Before God

Leader: Emptiness before God;

All: Fill me with the deep wisdom
Fill me with the great compassion
Fill me with the serene peace [pause]

Leader: Peace with God;

All: Let forgiveness flow
Let love come forth
Let energy return [pause]

Leader: Harmony with creation;

All: Deep peace of the shining stars
Deep peace of the running wave
Deep peace of the flowing air
Deep peace of the quiet earth
Deep peace of the Prince of Peace [pause]

Leader: Belonging to God;

All: Eternal Creator keep me
Beloved companion, Jesus, hold me
Gentle Spirit smile on me. Amen

I'll come back and blog on this again with some other poems and meditations.

Hope for a Tree cut Down

2008-12-19T15:38:00.004Z

Was having a wee surfing session and led me onto this link - a church in Washington State called the Church of the Beloved. There's a verse in Job 14.7-8 which says

For a tree there is always hope.
Chop it down and it still has a chance—
its roots can put out fresh sprouts.
Even if its roots are old and gnarled,
its stump long dormant,
At the first whiff of water it comes to life,
buds and grows like a sapling.

Anyway there is a free CD to download of their music and it's quite lovely so thought I'd share.

http://belovedschurch.org/hope/

Brian, John Drane & Street Pastoring

2008-12-19T14:31:00.006Z

So heard Brian speaking in Perth a couple of weeks ago and he was really thought provoking. He has a real gift of saying stuff simply with lots of clarity and he makes sense. Bought the book 'Everything Must Change' and I'm about a third of the way through. He is, as ever, challenging the orthodox view but I like what he says. Basically it boils down to "there is not a lack of orthodoxy (right belief) it's the lack of orthopraxis (right practice) that's the problem." We're back again to the fact that in our experience we can 'be saved' and believe the right things but they can make no difference to what we do - how we actually live. It's the challenge from Shane again - back to the fact that we need to live differently.

"The versions of Christianity we inherited are largely flattened, watered down, tamed...offering us a ticket to heaven after we die, but not challenging us to address the issues that threaten life on earth."

He asks 2 questions "What are the biggest problems in the world?" and "What does Jesus have to say about these global problems?" The other thing he said at Perth was "What are the big questions being debated in the church?" - well I guess that would be penal substitution ( Steve Chalke, John Piper, NT Wright anyone), are we predestined to go to heaven, does God heal today, baptism as a child or adult, speaking in tongues... etc. etc. - not really in the same ball park with the big global issues are they?

"All who find in Jesus God's hope and truth discover the privilege of participating in his ongoing work of personal and global transformation and liberation from evil and injustice. As part of his transforming community, they experience liberation from fear of death and condemnation. This is not something they earn or achieve, but rather a free gift they receive as an expression of God's grace and love."

The added bonus, not looked for, was that John Drane was there too and spoke for a few minutes at the end. John Drane is a bit of a long standing hero of mine predating Brian. He said something that really stuck with me.

God doesn't belong to us - to Christians - this is God's world and he is at work in it with or without us.

I think that's really worthwhile remembering and it had extra resonance as I went out that night - first night - Street Pastoring in Dunfermline. It wasn't that I was going out to take God onto the streets - it was that I was going out to join God, who was already out there waiting on me.

Joyeux Noel

2008-12-06T15:22:00.006Z

Thinking about Advent -which is probably my most favourite time of year, I came across a blog

http://rethinkingyouth.blogspot.com/

He has some great Advent suggestions on his site - mostly aimed at youth but really for anyone. Here's a flavour;

This clip is from the award-winning French film "Joyeux Noel" which tells the true story of the remarkable (and unofficial) 1914 Christmas truce during WWI. In this scene, based on true accounts, German, Scottish, and French soldiers are all barricaded in their trenches on Christmas Eve. A German soldier begins to sing a Christmas carol and eventually the enemy soldiers of the other trenches join in. This eventually prompts them all to come up out of their hiding places, call a truce, and celebrate Christmas together. It's an excellent film, dramatizing both the darkness we acknowledge in Advent and the possibility of the light to come. Show this film to your youth, or just enjoy it yourself.

Here's the clip

Enjoy!

Street Pastors Launch

2008-12-05T17:16:00.004Z

Street Pastors will officially launch tomorrow night in Dunfermline. We had a press launch on Monday. See the following link to the article in the Dunfermline Press.

http://http//www.dunfermlinepress.com/articles/1/31587

I'll come back to this later but for now - I need to rush as I'm hearing Brian McLaren this evening in Perth - looking forward to that...

God's Infinitely Outreaching Love

2008-12-04T20:43:00.004Z

Had a busy day - had to travel up to Aberdeen for a meeting and travelled by train. Had to change trains once on the way up and then on the way down and it was freezing! But it was one of those days where I was very conscious of God. Like Larry Gillick says, God is infinitely outreaching in his love and he comes to us according to us - he communicates his love in ways that relate specifically to me. He reaches out to us all the time and sometimes we miss it but today travelling back home I realised God had come to me today in different things I'd seen. The first was standing at Inverkeithing station I watched a swan flying by towards the sea - what an awesome sight - flying white against the grey clouds, big and graceful; then travelling past Aberdour when the train is really near the shore - there on a rock in a freezing sea was a seal - I love seals; then tonight travelling home I could only get a seat on the 'wrong side' of the train - usually like to be on the side by the sea. It was too dark to see anything anyway but I happened to be sitting westward so saw a spectacular sky as the sun was setting over Montrose Basin - and it felt like it was all just for me. God coming in his infinite love to bless me. Just like God saying - "Dot will love this"

Then standing at Inverkeithing waiting on the train back to Dunfermline I laughed cos I'd just been reading Shane Claiborne "Irresistible Revolution" all the way down on the train, which I'd borrowed from Mark, then as I was standing waiting for my train, another train drew up and sitting right in front of me head stuck in a book was Mark.

This might seem weird to you but it makes perfect sense to me and there's such a sense of intimacy with God - knowing I'm loved.

Proceed Until Apprehended!

2008-11-14T13:32:00.013Z

I've been a Margaret Wheatley fan ever since I read her book 'Leadership & The New Science' which came out in 1994. I came across this article by her and thought it tied in with what I'm thinking, what I'm reading in books like 'Outflow' and 'Jesus for President'. (see links to both these books in previous posts)

What is our role in creating change? Margaret Wheatley ©2008

Several years ago, I read of a Buddhist teacher who encouraged people filled with despair over the state of the world. His advice was simple and wise: “It’s our turn to help the world.” I love this statement because it reminds us of other times and other people who stepped forward to help create the changes that were necessary. We do live in an era that is unique in at least two ways. For the first time, humans have altered the earth’s ecology and created consequences that are just beginning to materialize in frightening ways. And we are aware immediately of tragedies and horrors everywhere in the world, no matter where they occur.

But for all of human existence, no matter how terrible the time, there always have been people willing to step forward to do whatever they could to create positive change. Some succeeded, some did not. As we struggle with our own time, it’s good to remember that we are standing on very strong shoulders that stretch far back in history.

In working with many people in very different cultures, I’ve learned to define leadership differently than most. A leader is anyone willing to help, anyone who sees something that needs to change and takes the first steps to influence that situation. It might be a parent who intervenes in her child’s school; or a rural village that works to get clean water; or a worker who refuses to allow mistreatment of others in his workplace; or a citizen who rallies her neighbors to stop local polluters. Everywhere in the world, no matter the economic or social circumstances, people step forward to try and make a small difference. Because a leader is anyone willing to help, we can celebrate the fact that the world is abundantly rich in leaders. Some people ask, “Where have all the leaders gone?” But if we worry that there’s a shortage of leaders, we’re just looking in the wrong place, usually at the top of some hierarchy. Instead, we need to look around us, to look locally. And we need to look at ourselves. When have we moved into action for an issue or concern that we cared about? When have we stepped forward to help and thereby become a leader?

The process that creates change in the world is quite straightforward. We notice something that needs to be changed. We keep noticing it. The problem keeps getting our attention, even though most people don’t notice that there’s even a problem. We start to act, we try something. If that doesn’t work, we try a different approach. We learn as we go. We become very engaged with the issue, spending more and more time on it. We become exhausted by our efforts, but still we keep going. The issue keeps calling to us. Any time we succeed, no matter how small the success, we gain new energy and resolve. We become smarter as we learn more about the issue and understand it better. We become more skillful at tactics and strategies. As we persevere, and if we are successful, more people join us. Sometimes we remain as just a small group, sometimes we give birth to a movement that involves tens of thousands, perhaps millions, of people.

This is how the world always changes. Even great and famous change initiatives begin this way, with the actions of just a few people, when “some friends and I started talking.” Including those efforts that win the Nobel Peace Prize.

In 2004, Wangari Maatai was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for her work in organizing The Greenbelt Movement which had planted over thirty million trees in Kenya and east Africa. Wangari was a biology professor at the University of Nairobi in Kenya. In a meeting with other Kenyan women, she learned that the fertile and forested land of her youth had been devastated. All the trees had been cut down for coffee and tea plantations. Local women now had to walk miles for firewood, and the water had become polluted with chemicals and runoffs from the plantations.

She knew that the solution to the plight of these women was to plant trees, to reforest the land. So she and a few women decided to begin immediately. They went to a large park in Nairobi and planted seven trees. However, five of these trees died. (The two that survived are still there today.) Their initial success rate was 28.5%, discouraging by anybody’s standards. But they didn’t give up. They learned from that experience and the women carried their learnings back to their villages. Gradually, they became skilled at planting trees. Other villages saw what they were doing and, over time, a large network of villages became engaged in tree planting. In less than 30 years, thirty million trees were flourishing in 600 communities, in 20 nations. Villages now have clean water, shade and local firewood, improved health and community vitality.

What if they had given up when the first five trees died? What if they had walked away and left it to the government or the U.N. to plant trees? And yet, how is it possible to go from two trees to 30 million trees in just 27 years? Or, to go from a mere dozen men to 9 million people acting as one unified body in just a few weeks, as happened with the Polish Solidarity Movement? This exponential growth is one gift of living in a network of relationships. If the issue is meaningful, people pay attention, see its value, and begin to talk to others. Such passion moves like wildfire through our networks and communities. Suddenly, we’ve reached millions of people and created largescale change. And it’s always true that these large powerful changes begin with only a few people who decide to help.

We can rely on this change process. If we have an idea, or experience a tragedy, or want to resolve an injustice, we can step forward to help. Instead of being overwhelmed and withdrawing, we can act. We don’t need to spend much time planning or getting senior leaders involved; we don’t have to wait for official support. We just need to get started. When we fail, which of course we will, we don’t become discouraged. Instead, we learn from our mistakes. We look for openings and opportunities that present themselves, even if they’re different than what we thought we needed. We follow the energy of “Yes!” rather than accepting defeat or getting stuck in a plan.

And we never know at the beginning where we’ll end up. And it doesn’t matter. Wangari Maathai calls herself an “accidental activist,” stepping forward to plant those first few trees because it felt like the right thing to do. She didn’t know that she would end up in jail, or have her reputation deliberately destroyed by her government. She didn’t know she’d win the Nobel Peace Prize. All she did was take that first step, and then the next, and then the next.

This is how the world changes. And this is why we need to step forward for what we care about. Little by little, step by step we can resolve the frightening issues of this time and restore hope to the future.

After all, it’s just our turn to help the world.

For more articles from Margaret Wheatley, check out this link

http://www.margaretwheatley.com/writing.html

Street Pastors - A Beginning

2008-11-02T12:57:00.001Z

Finally got out to Street Pastor for the first time. Not in my own town yet but still aiming to be 'Christ on the Streets' here well before Christmas.

What an amazing experience. People were so friendly, welcoming, supportive, positive about Street Pastors. They came up ready to speak and ask what a Street Pastor did and were particularly interested in whether we get paid for it! They seemed genuinely surprised when we said 'no' and told us what a great thing we were doing and how we were making the city centre safer by looking out for people. Some thought we were there to Bible bash and asked if we were going to 'convert' them. We explained that we were there to make sure people were safe and had a good night night out and that we were there if anyone wanted to speak to us about anything. Street Pastor motto - 'caring, listening and helping'.

People were keen to share their stories with us, whether it was a lost job, or to simply to blether about how they were out for the night with their friends, or in town on holiday, one person wanted to come up and confess his sin - he'd done something daft the night before, felt bad and wanted to talk about how he could be forgiven. But some people have stories that are far more moving and one person chose to share his with us. It was very moving, challenging and sobering.

Over all it was an amazing experience and my hope for our town is that people will welcome us they did on Saturday. It feels like the right thing to do - to be on the streets - to be Christ's hands and feet and more importantly - ears - and listen with his compassion.

Check out Aberdeen SPs here

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NokodTxJ4Ts

I Told You To Blame Doris Day

2008-11-01T15:56:00.000Z

I came across this on one of my meandering www excursions

DORIS DAY AND JIHAD
Some time ago, you asked (rhetorically, one presumes) if Doris Day was the root cause of jihad, referring to jihad-godfather Sayeed Qutb's notorious shock from hearing a Day recording at a Colorado church function. Listening to your recent discussion with Roger L Simon on the decay of America's daily newspapers, however, I wondered if you were also familiar with the Doris Day movie Teacher's Pet, wherein the heroine educates old-school newspaperman Clark Gable into a modernized socialist journ-o-bore? Doris would seem to be at the root of many of the modern pathologies.

Ted S.
New York

It's good to know that I'm not the only one blaming Doris, although not for anything as serious as Islamic extremism, socialism or poor journalistic standards - boy that woman has a lot to answer for.

Claiborne Again

2008-11-01T15:47:00.000Z

The trouble with being back at work and also having the kind of week that I've had with something on every single night is that you don't get time to blog....!

I finished 'Jesus for President' last week (see post below) and my very first inclination was to reread it - then my next inclination was to suggest to my son that he read it. He is doing Politics at university and he is also a Christian and I thought that it would be a book which would encourage him to think differently about his faith and his view of God. On reflection I think what I wanted was for him to be stirred up by such a radical and potentially life-changing vision of Christ and what Christians are called into. I'm still kind of mulling on it and haven't started to re-read it yet.

The book blew me away and I think I'm still kind of in shock - I thought it would be a tinsy bit challenging about Christian 'lifestyles' or something but it's so much more than that. It sets out to explore God's agenda and Christ's life, death and resurrection politically, economically, socially, nationally, environmentally, spiritually... I was surprised at something so politically radical coming from the States - (Sorry if my surprise surprises you - it's just my experience / understanding that America is ultra conservative - seriously in no-one else's universe would Barak Obama be considered anything other than a social democrat - but socialist - I think not!)

The book is a challenge fundamentally about how we live, what we think is important and what our priorities and focus need to be. I heard Claiborne say in an interview, that growing up in the Bible Belt in America taught him a lot about what to believe but not a lot about how he should behave. It's that sense that you can be a Christian and yet live in a way that's no different to anyone else - Christianity doesn't really effect the fundamentals, but Claiborne is setting out an alternative radical Christian agenda which would, if it was lived, probably have a major impact on the world. It's G K Chesterton's adage that 'Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.'

"It's a shame that a few conservative evangelicals have a monopoly on the word conversion. Some of us shiver at the word. But conversion means to change, to alter, to make something look different than it did before..We need conversion in the best sense of the word - people who are marked by the renewing of their minds and imaginations, who no longer conform to the pattern that is destroying our world. Otherwise we have only believers, not converts. And believers are a dime a dozen nowadays. What the world needs is people who believe so much in another world that they cannot help but enact it..Then we will start to see some true conversions vans that run on veggie oil instead of diesel. Then we will see some converted homes that run on renewable energy, power their laundry machines with stationary bicycles and flush their toilets with dirty sink water. Then tears will be converted to laughter as people make their machine guns into saxophones or police officers use their clubs to play baseball."

I'm reminded of a great piece of liturgy from Abbotsford Church in Clydebank called I Believe

I believe in a Miracle that made stars dance and galaxies pirouette

I believe in a Desire that gave birth to wonder and cast it in a human form

I believe in a Relationship that radiates with life: full life, total life, eternal life

I believe in Creation

I believe in Love

I believe that destruction ends

That a broken creation rebirths

That harvests and land will be shared

I believe in a Promise that, with a baby's cry, pushed himself into the world

I believe in a Truth that crushed sin and celebrates its freedom with new life

I believe in a Reality where love conquers untruth, injustice and death

I believe in Incarnation

I believe in Love

I believe that a man who was meant to die, refused

That a body that was still and broken, danced

That a voice that was silenced, laughed

I believe in a Vision that has noisy cafeterias in churches

and children with muddy feet running through Parliament, turning white papers

into tickertape parades, asylum bills into party invitations and bombs into flower bulbs

I believe in an Artist that paints the world in its true colours

I believe in a Mother that cannot help but respond to her child's cry

I believe in Spirit

I believe in Love

I believe that wall's that are permanent, fall

That racist systems, die

That terrorists in Northern Ireland, talk

I believe

And I believe

In Love

I might very well come back and post more on Shane, because Yes - he has become part of that small but very elite group of people I've given my life to including Brian McLaren and David Crowder (well you just have to). D - if you're reading this - you know what I mean.

At Last!

2008-10-22T10:57:00.001+01:00

Well finally the Shane Claiborne book I ordered came - think it had been sold out. Had ordered it a few weeks ago and after that realised that he'd done 3 podcasts with Tony Campolo - he's ex-Eastern University where he'd studied with Tony but I hadn't realised this at the time. Definitely worth checking out either through iTunes or online - check out this link http://www.videorocket.com/TONYCAMPOLO/1667223 - this is the first part of a 3 part interview.

So I'm about half way through the book and think it's very challenging / stimulating - lots of stuff to think about and mull over - just what I like. It gives a different perspective on the gospels understanding them from within the political context of the time. He also overviews the purposes of God from a radical political perspective - God never wanted the Israelites to have kings, he didn't want a temple - he wanted justice for the widow, the fatherless and the stranger, he wanted a peculiar people who would live differently and radically in the midst of other nations and demonstrate the kind of God he is - the God of jubliee where debt was cancelled and property returned, where there was no massive gulf between the rich and poor, where the hungry were fed, the naked clothed, the captive released. A radical Kingdom.

One of the things I've just been reading is about the curtain in the temple being torn from top to bottom at the point that Jesus dies. Shane says

"And when Christ died this curtain [big as a basketball court, as thick as your hand, taking 300 priests to move it] ripped open. We are left with the unmistakeable image that God tore open the temple to set all the sacred things free ...... Jesus offered healing and forgiveness outside the curtain. The holy of holies could not contain God "the wildest being in existence" would not be domesticated. The cross busted God out of the temple and religion, and brings God out into the streets..."

I remember speaking about the Exile many years ago in the church and asking the question - why did the exiles rebuild the temple? It still puzzles me - but perhaps it was for that time when Jesus died and God was able to finally make the statement that the days of the temple were over and he could now get back on the streets through his church. I think the challenge to me and to the church is that we don't try to put God back into the safety of the temple but we allow him, through us, to be walking about in the world doing the thing he always intended to do - establish a radical Kingdom. God is a lot easier to handle when we reduce him to our thoughts and imaginations, our rituals and our small services but he's the "wildest being in existence". Think I'd rather experience him than the god of my imagination.

I saw some T-shirts recently which said - "The church has left the building" - now there is a challenge.

David Revisited - Literally

2008-10-20T18:18:00.000+01:00

The problem with holidays is that you can't blog - so apologies for the lack of postings over the last couple of weeks. But the good thing about holidays is that you get to go away and do something different and exciting.

So - Before I move onto stuff more in line with the aims of this blog - I wanted to just pay some respect to David Tennant. As I happen to have a massive David Tennant / Dr Who fan in my family, the 2 of us went down to Stratford-upon-Avon in July to see Hamlet and did the obligatory stage door thing too - getting David's autograph [and Patrick Stewart's for that matter]. I managed recently - don't ask how because these things are like hens teeth I'm not really sure how it was possible - to get tickets for Loves Labours Lost which also features that man Tennant. And believe me they were not just any tickets these were front-row-inches-away-from-the-guy tickets we literally could have touched him while he was on stage.

The play was amazing - and this is the respect thing - David Tennant is an incredible actor - I really enjoyed Hamlet but actually enjoyed Loves Labours Lost even more [if that was really possible] - not only is he incredible - the play really hinged on his ability to alter the mood through his acting - he really carries an amazing stage presence.

And hats off to him for coming to the stage door again - [yes she got his autograph again and managed to speak to him too] - He's been doing this since July when Hamlet first kicked off and there he was in October still trotting out to sign autographs and chat to people.

Trust me - if you can get your hands on tickets at both for either of these plays - do not hesitate!

God bless you David.

Dawkins Revisited

2008-09-29T17:06:00.000+01:00

I guess I needed to come back to Dawkins given that my previous post was somewhat tangential to the actual topic.

Where to start - well there is the fact that, by his own admission, he has never actually spoken to a serious theologian (well he doesn't believe in theology does he); the self referencing statements directed back to his own books; the fact that he believes that anyone with any kind of religious belief (no matter how slight) is mentally ill & should have their children removed (yes seriously); that religion itself is a virus which should be destroyed; the fact that he honestly believes that "science & atheism" together can be the basis for a new utopia (in the 20th century science and atheism accounted for the murders of 10s of millions of people - Hitler, Stalin & Mao anyone?); the fact that he purports to be arguing from a basis of science when he is clearly arguing about a philosophical world view - either a major category error or at best disingenuous; his definition of faith - "belief in the absence of evidence even in the teeth of evidence" - I don't think that that would be any serious theologian's definition "these things are written that you might believe" - i.e. that your faith might be based on evidence; his misrepresentation of the history of science - modern science is historically traced back to the Hebrews (predating the Greeks) who because they believed in one God who governed through laws - believed therefore that his creation was equally governed by laws that could be understood rationally; that Darwin, Galileo & Newton were never atheists (quote from Darwin - “In my most extreme fluctuations I have never been an atheist in the sense of denying the existence of a God.” (Letter to John Fordyce, May 7 1879) in fact the history of the development of science is closely associated with people of faith; that there are historical records which are still in existence that demonstrate that the famous discussion between Huxley and Bishop Wilberforce was not the whitewash that Dawkins would have us believe - Darwin himself described Wilberforce's paper against his 'Origin of Species' as 'uncommonly brilliant' because it, to quote Darwin 'picks out with skill all the most conjectural parts, and brings forward well all the difficulties', Wilberforce himself was an amateur scientist, had a first class degree in mathematics and was Vice President of the British Association for the Advancement of Science and although a theologian, didn't argue from a theological position. The outcome of the debate, rather than being 'overwhelmingly on the side of science and the great conception of evolution' was actually seen to have been a draw. To say that 'Wilberforce was annihilated by Huxley' is simply a lie and doesn't [ironically] stand up against the actual evidence. Darwin himself said that the debate had done good by 'showing the world that a few first rate men are not afraid of expressing their opinions'; then there are 'memes' - 'cultural replicators' which Dawkins has postulated to explain why religion is still in the evolutionary mix - of course (ironically again) there isn't actually any evidence for them. I could go on as Dawkins himself does at great length....

There are some really great resources for those who are interested - some you pay for some are free (yipee). The excellent - I could not recommend this site highly enough - http://www.bethinking.org/ is an absolute treasure trove of Christian apologetics resources. The best thing is you can download stuff onto your iPOD and listen to it in the gym, as you drive around in your car, walk the dog etc. etc. - how fab! Both John Lennox and Alister McGrath have talks on the subject of Dawkins - so if you want to listen to people who know what they are talking about [then you don't have to take my word for it] - check them out.

They also both have books (by the way if you're reading this and it was you I lent my copy of 'Dawkins God' to - could you return it please!)

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John Lennox is Research Fellow in Mathematics at Green College, University of Oxford and Senior Fellow of the Whitefield Institute. He recently was part of a live debate with Dawkins in Birmingham Alabama and is shortly to debate with him again in Oxford. Download his bethinking session on this link

http://www.bethinking.org/science-christianity/advanced/god-and-richard-dawkins.htm

Atheist philosopher of science, Michael Ruse, commented, ‘I would like to see Dawkins take Christianity as seriously as he undoubtedly expects Christianity to take Darwinism. I would also like to see him spell out fully the arguments as to the incompatibility of science (Darwinism especially) and religion (Christianity especially). He has also written, ‘The God Delusion makes me embarrassed to be an atheist, and the McGraths show why'.

Space & Time - It's a Continuum

2008-09-27T13:12:00.000+01:00

Just too busy with work, with church and with Street Pastors; as well as all the domestic calls with family etc. that it's easy to feel life is completely out of balance. Sometimes feel that I'm on the end of an elastic thread. The good thing is it's still anchored but it's scary being stretched so far. I'm keenly aware of needing time for prayer and contemplation but not finding that it can be very easily accommodated in the midst of everything else.

The couple of courses from last September through to May this year exploring Ignatian spirituality were the best things I've done in terms of spiritual growth and understanding about prayer and reflection. Not only the opportunity to explore ways of praying and contemplating God and the movement of God in my life but I discovered the absolute value of having a Spiritual Director. This morning, after a sorely missed 3 months, I met with my Spiritual Director again. What a huge help and encouragement - she seems to straighten out the crooked paths and things seem to fall into place. She has amazing spiritual discernment and wisdom and I so appreciate that. There is such a sense of peace and she leaves me with lots to think and pray about.
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Check out the Epiphany website in my blog list for more information on courses locally. A good introduction to St Ignatius of Loyola, would be Landmarks by Margaret Silf - a book I can't recommend highly enough.

Street Pastors

2008-09-24T13:55:00.000+01:00

At Street Pastor training last night - we're still hoping to be 'Christ on the Streets' come December - Looking out for people and demonstrating, practically, the love of God. Making sure people are safe and have a good night out. Street Pastors has now been endorsed by the Home Office in England and Roseanna Cunningham has raised it as an issue in the Scottish Parliament, asking for the recognition and support for Street Pastors in Scotland. The Ascension Trust who are the group reponsible for Street Pastors in the UK and now developing further afield in lots of places across the world, see the church as part of the 'Urban Trininty' including the Police and the local authority. It's about starting to put 'community' back into our city centres.

Last night the topic was, believe it or not, Sociology. Brought back memories of studying Durkheim, Marxist and Feminist theory. We looked at 'deviance' and I guess the conclusion I drew is that Christians are probably now a deviant subculture. Deviant doesn't mean 'bad' - just deviating from the norm. You can be a positive deviant! Probably the best books I've read around this in the last little while are by Dave Ping 'Outflow' '>
and by Michael Frost 'Exiles: Living missionally in a Post- Christian World'.
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We're not the mainstream in society and maybe that's a good thing - maybe that means we have to think a bit more deeply about our faith - not take for granted that Christian values are the norm and live in a way that challenges the prevailing culture.

Street Pastors embrace the very thing that Dave Ping talks about - 'a ministry of noticing' - looking out for people and laying down our own needs and interests for a little while.

John Cornwell meets Dawkins

2008-09-21T17:42:00.000+01:00

Currently in Christian culture there is a great deal of discussion about 'community'. While reading John Cornwell's book 'Darwin's Angel' which is a light touch counter to Dawkins 'The God Delusion', I was struck by a passage where he discusses the question 'what is religion?' - he says

"Religious rituals and symbols, from the dawning of human history, marked and celebrated birth, growth, age, death and burial, the makings of families and communities, the coming together for feasts, husbandry, hunting, journeys, the life cycles of plants, animals, and human beings, the changing seasons, the diurnal, lunar, and annual rounds, the mystery of existance...It is exciting to think of the deepening of our awareness of the world through the scientific dimension, especially cosmology and biology and yet science cannot encompass the multi-dimensional symbols of religion, which by their nature resist explanation and control...

..It was only after the Enlightenment that the word 'religion' principally came to mean an aspect of human behaviour or culture. And in the conflicts between throne and altar, church and state, priesthood and politics, there emerged a concerted and determined effort to describe religion as a private, purely personal activity. The struggle to banish religion to the private sphere continues to this day."

There is something powerful in recovering 'community' which was so strong in the early church. Celebrating together, marking events significant to the people in our community, whether our immediate church community or the wider community. The church can't be hidden in the box marked 'private activity'. The church has a call to justice. So if we are radical participants in a high commitment endeavour then that requires us to interact - to weep with those who weep and be happy with those who are happy [Rom 12.15]. This stands in contrast to the 'communitylessness' which people often experience, both in the church and without.

This is important for me particularly in thinking forward to some of the things on the horizon, like 'Advent' and the development of Street Pastors. These things re-emphasise the centrality of community and recovery of something fundamental to Christian practice.

More later.

Tony Campolo meets Mother Teresa

2008-09-19T10:04:00.000+01:00

A formidable pairing..listening to Tony's podcast 'Across the Pond' and thinking about 'blessed are the meek' or as the NLT puts it 'God blesses those who are gentle and lowly - for the whole earth will belong to them'. Struggling with what it means to be meek - what a difficult word that is.... But Tony says a great thing - the world will take us seriously when we have sacrified enough. That's where authority comes from - from sacrifice - what has the church sacrificed recently? - what have I sacrificed in my life to gain that authority? - not power.

Someone once said you have to earn the right to preach the gospel - How do I earn the right, through sacrifice, to speak with authority of God's love?
http://feeds.feedburner.com/TonyCampoloPodcast