It's been a funny couple of months.
I finished making the Spiritual Exercises at the end of August and it's been hard making the transition into 'life as usual'. I honestly think that last year has been the most significant of my Christian journey (not sure what other word to use but becoming more dissatisfied with the 'journey' word/metaphor) so far and my sense of God and myself has been challenged and deepened in a most profound way. So coming out of that has been an adjustment as I've struggled to find a rhythm in my prayer life which isn't an hour a day for 6 days of the week. This coupled with an absolutely manic pace at work over the last few months (which looks likely to continue until at least the middle of December), a busy church schedule and a couple of months break from my Spiritual Director who was on holiday, has left praying contemplatively a challenge to say the least. It's just difficult to get my head to slow down and my thoughts to be less frenetic.
I'm still trying to make space to pray a couple of times a week but sometimes my head is, frankly, 'mince' as we say in Scotland!
I've been on holiday for a week and have still kept the slightly frantic pace - stuff I had to do - and it's taken me till today to sit in my prayer space and actually feel that I had stilled enough to hear; to receive consciously the presence of God.
I've been thinking for a few weeks about a little phrase I read which just says "learn to pause ... or nothing worthwhile will catch up to you" It's not a spiritual (actually it probably is..) phrase, it's from a stamp I use when making some little art pieces. But this morning as I started my prayer I read this quote from Mother Teresa
"We need to find God and God cannot be found in noise and restlessness. See how nature - trees and flowers and grass - grow in silence. See the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence. The more we we receive in silent prayer - the more we can give in our active life."
Now far be it from me to assert my spiritual insight over Mother Teresa (think I'm well out of my depth there), but as I reflected on this I realised that it made sense to me to re-phrase this slightly;
"We need to allow God to find us and we can't be found by God in noise and restlessness"
This sense that God doesn't struggle in noise and restlessness; I do. I'm the one who needs to learn to pause so that I can become more attentive to God's voice. That is what Sabbath is. At some point - and let's face it it's probably not going to be a Sunday - we need to stop. We need to make ourselves available to be refreshed, to be immersed in the presence and peace that is only found when we stop long enough for God to encounter us.
Isaiah 30.15 says;
"In returning and rest you are saved. In keeping quiet and in confidence is your might."
Psalm 131 says;
"..Instead I have quieted and calmed myself ... like a weaned child is my soul within me"
Friday 22 October 2010
Saturday 11 September 2010
Great Quote
This is a quote of a quote but I though it was brilliant. It is written by Scott McKnight about NT Wright's book "Virtue Reborn" or "After you Believe" as it has been titled in the States.
"It deserves to be said: one reason so many people read Tom Wright today is because he can write prose that is flat-out captivating. Like this: in discussing love, Wright says the "English word 'love' is trying to do so many different jobs at the same time that someone really ought to sit down with it and teach it how to delegate." But those early Christians, who found the Greek word agape, "seem to have settled quickly on this word as the best available one, and they then gave it the fresh privilege of carrying a new depth of meaning in which some aspects of its previous career were highlighted and others were set aside." Vintage Wright."
Looks like a good read.
"It deserves to be said: one reason so many people read Tom Wright today is because he can write prose that is flat-out captivating. Like this: in discussing love, Wright says the "English word 'love' is trying to do so many different jobs at the same time that someone really ought to sit down with it and teach it how to delegate." But those early Christians, who found the Greek word agape, "seem to have settled quickly on this word as the best available one, and they then gave it the fresh privilege of carrying a new depth of meaning in which some aspects of its previous career were highlighted and others were set aside." Vintage Wright."
Looks like a good read.
Thursday 12 August 2010
Resurrection
One year on, I'm almost through making the Ignatian Spiritual Exercises. The final thing will be to reflect on the whole experience; what has moved me? where were the areas of consolation and desolation? what is staying with me? But for the next couple of weeks I am finishing 4th week. Before moving to "4th week" I attempted to blog about some of my "3rd week" reflections. Now almost through 4th week, I've found it interesting and very challenging praying with the resurrection.
I don't know about you but I have found my Christian life, for much of the time, centred on the cross. I'm not saying there is anything particularly bad about that, but over the last few years I have found it really helpful to focus on a more complete picture of Christ, extending out from the cross to encompass the incarnation and over the last year to pray with all aspects of Jesus; his pre-existence as part of the Godhead; as the "Word" through whom all things came into being; his incarnation; his early years; his public ministry; his passion and death. But praying in this resurrection space has been a challenge of a different order.
What does it mean to live beyond the cross, beyond the resurrection, beyond the ascension?
I'll come back to this thought shortly.
I don't know about you but I have found my Christian life, for much of the time, centred on the cross. I'm not saying there is anything particularly bad about that, but over the last few years I have found it really helpful to focus on a more complete picture of Christ, extending out from the cross to encompass the incarnation and over the last year to pray with all aspects of Jesus; his pre-existence as part of the Godhead; as the "Word" through whom all things came into being; his incarnation; his early years; his public ministry; his passion and death. But praying in this resurrection space has been a challenge of a different order.
What does it mean to live beyond the cross, beyond the resurrection, beyond the ascension?
I'll come back to this thought shortly.
Saturday 19 June 2010
Reflection #8
Jesus is dead
What to feel? Exhaustion, numbness, unreality, unbelief, this is a bad dream I can't wake up from. What did it all mean? What was it all for in the end? Maybe. Maybe if he hadn't been so outspoken, so confrontational. Maybe there was a different way to get his message across? If only. How could he leave us like that. What will we face now? Hope. Did he not say..What did he mean? Hope? Crashing reality. I really saw him die. He really is dead. The soldiers proved it beyond a shadow of doubt.
The women huddled together as the spear pierced him. They know he is dead. They huddle together in their grief. His body is taken down - they can't help it - they go and touch him, his mother touching his cheek as each of them makes themselves unclean. They follow the men who have wrapped the body in cloth. They see the new tomb nearby, never used. They see him laid inside.
They weep and make the journey back to Bethany. Only a short while ago eating a meal together. Reminded that Mary really did anoint him for burial. Waking next day with a sudden realisation. It's all true - it's not a dream. Jesus is dead. Passing the Sabbath together.
Then a great big white screen and peace. Gazing up into the vastness of heaven and a cloth with a body wrapped in it glowing like a transfiguration.
What to feel? Exhaustion, numbness, unreality, unbelief, this is a bad dream I can't wake up from. What did it all mean? What was it all for in the end? Maybe. Maybe if he hadn't been so outspoken, so confrontational. Maybe there was a different way to get his message across? If only. How could he leave us like that. What will we face now? Hope. Did he not say..What did he mean? Hope? Crashing reality. I really saw him die. He really is dead. The soldiers proved it beyond a shadow of doubt.
The women huddled together as the spear pierced him. They know he is dead. They huddle together in their grief. His body is taken down - they can't help it - they go and touch him, his mother touching his cheek as each of them makes themselves unclean. They follow the men who have wrapped the body in cloth. They see the new tomb nearby, never used. They see him laid inside.
They weep and make the journey back to Bethany. Only a short while ago eating a meal together. Reminded that Mary really did anoint him for burial. Waking next day with a sudden realisation. It's all true - it's not a dream. Jesus is dead. Passing the Sabbath together.
Then a great big white screen and peace. Gazing up into the vastness of heaven and a cloth with a body wrapped in it glowing like a transfiguration.
Reflection #7
My God, My God why have you abandoned me?
He is in agony. Pain radiating through his body. Very difficult to focus on anything but this pain. Locked in the moment, hyper-aware. You can't go anywhere. You can't escape the pain. Caught up in it. All encompassing. Jesus holds onto God by his fingertips. Separated by a gulf of pain from his disciples and friends. He is alone and becomes increasingly aware of this. No-one can go through this with him. His whole focus is on the agony, alone in his suffering. He tries to hold onto God. Tries to fight the thoughts closing in on him. Tries to stay focused outwards. Darkness falls. Three hours struggling. His head drooping forward. Turmoil inside.
He loves his enemies. His righteousness exceeds that of the Scribes and Pharisees. He is rich and became poor. He offers his other cheek to be slapped. He forgives those who sin against him. He serves one master. He goes a second mile. He is pure in heart, only willing one thing - to do the will of the Father. He faces down evil with incredible costly love.
He hangs there in the face of indifference. He experiences everything but the one thing which is at the extreme of human experience. To be abandoned by God.
At 3 o' clock Jesus cries out in a loud voice - Why? Why? Why Abandoned?
God "in extremis". God hangs there in the face of evil, hypocrisy, indifference and everything wrong in the whole of creation. He also hangs there in the face of losing God. God abandoned by God.
It's a place beyond our comprehension. The moment when Jesus comes to the end of all he is. He is beyond. Off the map.
I don't know how the Trinity worked while Jesus was human, but in this place, Jesus feels himself utterly alone. A being who has lived in community all of his eternal existence. Abandoned. The community of the Godhead totally disrupted, Father and Spirit.
Did he need to go that extreme? It feels to me like he did. He needed to experience this ultimate place beyond God. And I am struck again by his love even in the face of complete mystery and unknowing.
Jesus shouted out again and released his spirit.
He is in agony. Pain radiating through his body. Very difficult to focus on anything but this pain. Locked in the moment, hyper-aware. You can't go anywhere. You can't escape the pain. Caught up in it. All encompassing. Jesus holds onto God by his fingertips. Separated by a gulf of pain from his disciples and friends. He is alone and becomes increasingly aware of this. No-one can go through this with him. His whole focus is on the agony, alone in his suffering. He tries to hold onto God. Tries to fight the thoughts closing in on him. Tries to stay focused outwards. Darkness falls. Three hours struggling. His head drooping forward. Turmoil inside.
He loves his enemies. His righteousness exceeds that of the Scribes and Pharisees. He is rich and became poor. He offers his other cheek to be slapped. He forgives those who sin against him. He serves one master. He goes a second mile. He is pure in heart, only willing one thing - to do the will of the Father. He faces down evil with incredible costly love.
He hangs there in the face of indifference. He experiences everything but the one thing which is at the extreme of human experience. To be abandoned by God.
At 3 o' clock Jesus cries out in a loud voice - Why? Why? Why Abandoned?
God "in extremis". God hangs there in the face of evil, hypocrisy, indifference and everything wrong in the whole of creation. He also hangs there in the face of losing God. God abandoned by God.
It's a place beyond our comprehension. The moment when Jesus comes to the end of all he is. He is beyond. Off the map.
I don't know how the Trinity worked while Jesus was human, but in this place, Jesus feels himself utterly alone. A being who has lived in community all of his eternal existence. Abandoned. The community of the Godhead totally disrupted, Father and Spirit.
Did he need to go that extreme? It feels to me like he did. He needed to experience this ultimate place beyond God. And I am struck again by his love even in the face of complete mystery and unknowing.
Jesus shouted out again and released his spirit.
Reflection #6
They sat around
That's the verse that really got me.
"They gambled for his clothes by throwing dice, then they sat around and kept guard as he hung there."
It's hard to know what to say to that apart from to weep.
"They sat around...as he hung there"
While God died painfully and horribly. While God was stretching and reaching. While God is suffering and dying, slowly.
What does God do in the face of such indifference? Unconcern? They are not looking up; they are focused on themselves; attending to their everyday stuff. Business as usual. What does God do in the face of such indifference? He hangs there.
It's not the out and out hostility that gets me. Atheists don't bother me. They are at least talking about God even if they are not thinking. But those who sit around...
That's the verse that really got me.
"They gambled for his clothes by throwing dice, then they sat around and kept guard as he hung there."
It's hard to know what to say to that apart from to weep.
"They sat around...as he hung there"
While God died painfully and horribly. While God was stretching and reaching. While God is suffering and dying, slowly.
What does God do in the face of such indifference? Unconcern? They are not looking up; they are focused on themselves; attending to their everyday stuff. Business as usual. What does God do in the face of such indifference? He hangs there.
It's not the out and out hostility that gets me. Atheists don't bother me. They are at least talking about God even if they are not thinking. But those who sit around...
Reflection #5
Jesus and the Soldiers
Jesus was handed over to the soldiers after his back has been ripped by the lead tipped whip.
Roman soldiers I imagine were a pretty bloody lot. They worked on behalf of an Empire that was ruthless; mired in ugly and graphic violence of every kind. I imagine they have seen and committed all kinds of violent and barbaric acts. They don't care about Jesus. He epitomises everything they hate about this riotous and rebellious nation they have been posted to. Another messiah. Another insurrection to put down. They are all about oppression and humiliation and displays of power. But mostly - humiliation.
The soldiers gather around and undress him. They pull off his clothes. Humiliation. Put a red cloak on him. I imagine a red travelling cloak of one of the Soldiers. The kind they wrap themselves in to sleep. I imagine the smell; the rough texture; the dust; the vivid colour; the feel of it on ripped and bleeding skin. Here's a crown. Push and twist it on his head. Here's a sceptre. They grab and strike him with it. Humiliation. Spit on him. Humiliation. Then pull the cloak off him and push his clothes back on him.
See how powerful we are. We're in charge. We Romans - King?! Hardly.
They stripped and humiliated him. But Jesus had already stripped and humiliated himself. He had already taken off his robe voluntarily; because all authority over everything had been given to him. SO. He had already shamed himself in the act of washing feet. They had no power to humble him. He had chosen to humble himself. He had taken the initiative. They didn't take anything from Jesus that he had not already given up of his own accord.
They didn't grasp that. Jesus had all the power. They hadn't realised because it wasn't the kind of power they expected. Jesus weakness, his humiliation, was his power.
Jesus was handed over to the soldiers after his back has been ripped by the lead tipped whip.
Roman soldiers I imagine were a pretty bloody lot. They worked on behalf of an Empire that was ruthless; mired in ugly and graphic violence of every kind. I imagine they have seen and committed all kinds of violent and barbaric acts. They don't care about Jesus. He epitomises everything they hate about this riotous and rebellious nation they have been posted to. Another messiah. Another insurrection to put down. They are all about oppression and humiliation and displays of power. But mostly - humiliation.
The soldiers gather around and undress him. They pull off his clothes. Humiliation. Put a red cloak on him. I imagine a red travelling cloak of one of the Soldiers. The kind they wrap themselves in to sleep. I imagine the smell; the rough texture; the dust; the vivid colour; the feel of it on ripped and bleeding skin. Here's a crown. Push and twist it on his head. Here's a sceptre. They grab and strike him with it. Humiliation. Spit on him. Humiliation. Then pull the cloak off him and push his clothes back on him.
See how powerful we are. We're in charge. We Romans - King?! Hardly.
They stripped and humiliated him. But Jesus had already stripped and humiliated himself. He had already taken off his robe voluntarily; because all authority over everything had been given to him. SO. He had already shamed himself in the act of washing feet. They had no power to humble him. He had chosen to humble himself. He had taken the initiative. They didn't take anything from Jesus that he had not already given up of his own accord.
They didn't grasp that. Jesus had all the power. They hadn't realised because it wasn't the kind of power they expected. Jesus weakness, his humiliation, was his power.
Reflection #4
Jesus, the Son of Man (Mark & Daniel)
Jesus is taken to the High Priest's home
The Son of Man comes up in the clouds of heaven
Jesus is led before the council
The Son of Man is led into the presence of the Ancient One
They spat on him
He is given authority
They blindfolded him
He is given honour
They beat him with their fists
He is given sovereignty over all the nations of the world
They mocked him
People of every race, nation, language obey him
They slapped him
His rule is eternal it will never end
They took him away
His kingdom will never be destroyed
"Are you the Messiah, the Son of the Blessed One?"
"I AM. And you will see the Son of Man seated in the place of power at God's right hand and coming on the clouds of heaven"
Jesus is taken to the High Priest's home
The Son of Man comes up in the clouds of heaven
Jesus is led before the council
The Son of Man is led into the presence of the Ancient One
They spat on him
He is given authority
They blindfolded him
He is given honour
They beat him with their fists
He is given sovereignty over all the nations of the world
They mocked him
People of every race, nation, language obey him
They slapped him
His rule is eternal it will never end
They took him away
His kingdom will never be destroyed
"Are you the Messiah, the Son of the Blessed One?"
"I AM. And you will see the Son of Man seated in the place of power at God's right hand and coming on the clouds of heaven"
Reflection #3
Before Annas, Ciaphas, the Sanhedrin, Pilate and Herod
Jesus was led about a lot once he was arrested. He was tied up and ushered in front of different people. It struck me that when he later says to Peter "When you were young you were able to do as you liked...you went wherever you wanted to go, but when you are old..others will take you where you don't want to go", he was speaking from the heart; to lose your liberty, to no longer be independent, but to be forced by others, to do what you don't want to. Jesus had experienced that very thing. He had been compelled to stand in front of all these men.
And as I pictured scene after scene where Jesus is led into the presence of these people it struck me how much they would want to display their power. They would be there in their robes of office, seated on their thrones or whatever the equivalent thing was, surrounded by servants, all the trappings of power and privilege and authority. They would want him to see how important they were, how what they said went. How dare he, who does he think he is unsettling their rules and structures. Overturning their tables. Questioning the things that they had decreed. We'll show him who knows best.
And as I looked I became aware of Jesus beginning to grow in stature. He grew and grew and grew until I could see the universe contained in him, stars and planets and galaxies. Annas became smaller and smaller until he resembled a "grasshopper". I heard God's words to Job
"Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Who determined its dimensions and stretched out the surveying line? What supports its foundations and who laid its cornerstone as the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?...Have you ever commanded the morning to appear and caused the dawn to rise in the east?...Can you direct the movement of the stars - binding the cluster of Pleiades or loosening the cords of Orion?...Do you know the laws of the universe? Can you use them to regulate the earth?"
All authority over everything has been given to me.
But Jesus opened not his mouth.
Jesus was led about a lot once he was arrested. He was tied up and ushered in front of different people. It struck me that when he later says to Peter "When you were young you were able to do as you liked...you went wherever you wanted to go, but when you are old..others will take you where you don't want to go", he was speaking from the heart; to lose your liberty, to no longer be independent, but to be forced by others, to do what you don't want to. Jesus had experienced that very thing. He had been compelled to stand in front of all these men.
And as I pictured scene after scene where Jesus is led into the presence of these people it struck me how much they would want to display their power. They would be there in their robes of office, seated on their thrones or whatever the equivalent thing was, surrounded by servants, all the trappings of power and privilege and authority. They would want him to see how important they were, how what they said went. How dare he, who does he think he is unsettling their rules and structures. Overturning their tables. Questioning the things that they had decreed. We'll show him who knows best.
And as I looked I became aware of Jesus beginning to grow in stature. He grew and grew and grew until I could see the universe contained in him, stars and planets and galaxies. Annas became smaller and smaller until he resembled a "grasshopper". I heard God's words to Job
"Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Who determined its dimensions and stretched out the surveying line? What supports its foundations and who laid its cornerstone as the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?...Have you ever commanded the morning to appear and caused the dawn to rise in the east?...Can you direct the movement of the stars - binding the cluster of Pleiades or loosening the cords of Orion?...Do you know the laws of the universe? Can you use them to regulate the earth?"
All authority over everything has been given to me.
But Jesus opened not his mouth.
Saturday 12 June 2010
Reflection #2
Jesus washes the disciples feet
"Jesus knew he had come from God and was returning to God and that authority over everything had been given to him ... so..."
It's such a small word isn't it ...so... Logically what follows this word should almost be self evident from the previous statement but it isn't - it really isn't at all.
John doesn't write about the body and blood statements Jesus made at the last meal they had together, he tells a remarkable story instead.
Disciples' relationship with their Rabbi was like a slave and a master. The disciple learned from the Master by serving him. We know that the disciples made the preparation for Passover; they were sent into villages to buy food for the group; they took turns to serve. The Babylonian Talmud tells us that "all acts a slave performs for his master, the disciple performs for his Rabbi, ...except untying the sandal."
Feet were considered unclean. Washing them was demeaning. Shameful. Humiliating. Only slaves would do it. Even Jewish male servants wouldn't do it. It could, however, be allocated to women, children or Gentiles.
For a master to belt his robe was unthinkable. Only lower class servants and slaves belt their robes. To belt your robe was to indicate that you were going to become a servant.
He had been given authority over everything ....That means he had been given authority over everything... SO
He got up. He took off his robe. He wrapped a towel around his waist. He poured water into basin. He began washing the disciples feet. He dried them with the towel he had around him.
We some times say - what is the cultural equivalent? It's offering someone a cup of tea or coffee when they come to our house
No it isn't. It's the cultural equivalent of the queen giving up all she has, moving out of Buckingham Palace into a council estate in Possil and spending the rest of her life serving the community there in what ever capacity she can. It's the cultural equivalent of David Cameron walking out of Downing Street and becoming a community activist in Toxteth. And then it's more radical even than that. Because this is GOD.
Jesus sat down and asked;
"Do you understand what I was doing...?"
"Jesus knew he had come from God and was returning to God and that authority over everything had been given to him ... so..."
It's such a small word isn't it ...so... Logically what follows this word should almost be self evident from the previous statement but it isn't - it really isn't at all.
John doesn't write about the body and blood statements Jesus made at the last meal they had together, he tells a remarkable story instead.
Disciples' relationship with their Rabbi was like a slave and a master. The disciple learned from the Master by serving him. We know that the disciples made the preparation for Passover; they were sent into villages to buy food for the group; they took turns to serve. The Babylonian Talmud tells us that "all acts a slave performs for his master, the disciple performs for his Rabbi, ...except untying the sandal."
Feet were considered unclean. Washing them was demeaning. Shameful. Humiliating. Only slaves would do it. Even Jewish male servants wouldn't do it. It could, however, be allocated to women, children or Gentiles.
For a master to belt his robe was unthinkable. Only lower class servants and slaves belt their robes. To belt your robe was to indicate that you were going to become a servant.
He had been given authority over everything ....That means he had been given authority over everything... SO
He got up. He took off his robe. He wrapped a towel around his waist. He poured water into basin. He began washing the disciples feet. He dried them with the towel he had around him.
We some times say - what is the cultural equivalent? It's offering someone a cup of tea or coffee when they come to our house
No it isn't. It's the cultural equivalent of the queen giving up all she has, moving out of Buckingham Palace into a council estate in Possil and spending the rest of her life serving the community there in what ever capacity she can. It's the cultural equivalent of David Cameron walking out of Downing Street and becoming a community activist in Toxteth. And then it's more radical even than that. Because this is GOD.
Jesus sat down and asked;
"Do you understand what I was doing...?"
Thursday 10 June 2010
Reflections on the Passion #1
I have to admit I've found it really difficult to blog recently. I think some of it is related to the focus of my prayer in the past weeks. Blogging about the Passion feels kind of out of sync with where we are in the year, but I also feel that when I'm praying God is very present and that he gifts me, out of his grace, insights and experiences that I find quite hard to articulate. As I've progressed through the exercises I feel that I've become less and less able to verbalise what it is that God is doing and showing me, but I have experienced it as full of incredible grace and generous love.
I thought that what I might do is share some little reflections on what has been moving me, I think, otherwise, that I might come to a complete halt on my blogging.
#1
Jesus anointed at Bethany
Jesus has just announced that he is about to die; one of his disciples is in the process of seeking to betray him; the religious leaders are desperately plotting to capture him and kill him secretly; Jesus knows what he has to say to his disciples the next day; he is in the home of a family he loves and he is having the second last meal of his life; he knows what his disciples and those who love him will face shortly; he has to live out this final act of his public ministry and then what ...? Jesus has to live this by faith even though he is God he is fully human. This is not a foregone conclusion although Jesus believes he will rise again he has to set his face towards it and choose to follow it.
I imagine Jesus conflicted by all of these thoughts and concerns surrounded by his friends and disciples yet alone in really knowing what all of this means for him and for them. His disciples talking and eating, maybe not fully aware of the turmoil Jesus is going through. But the woman...Mary, who sat at Jesus feet...
Mary sees him. Really sees him. Understands what is happening and the most loving gesture she can make is to take a beautiful jar of expensive perfume and pour it over his head. It is a gesture of love, empathy, understanding and devotion. It is a selfless act to acknowledge what Jesus is experiencing.
The disciples see waste - Jesus sees understanding and concern. The disciples measure the act in terms of it's monetary worth - Jesus measures the act in terms of its self giving. She has honoured him and he reflects honour back to her. "...throughout the world, this woman's deed will be remembered and discussed"
By anointing him in this way she is proclaiming him to be the King. The Christ. Hebrew kings were not crowned, they were anointed and the fragrance acted like a crown on their heads, giving an aroma of the holy. That smell of the anointing perfume would remain on Jesus over the coming days, Gethsemane, Caiaphas' house, before the Sanhedrin, Herod's palace, the Praetorium, the cross. The aroma clung to him proclaiming, wherever he went, that he is the Messiah; the Holy One of God.
I thought that what I might do is share some little reflections on what has been moving me, I think, otherwise, that I might come to a complete halt on my blogging.
#1
Jesus anointed at Bethany
Jesus has just announced that he is about to die; one of his disciples is in the process of seeking to betray him; the religious leaders are desperately plotting to capture him and kill him secretly; Jesus knows what he has to say to his disciples the next day; he is in the home of a family he loves and he is having the second last meal of his life; he knows what his disciples and those who love him will face shortly; he has to live out this final act of his public ministry and then what ...? Jesus has to live this by faith even though he is God he is fully human. This is not a foregone conclusion although Jesus believes he will rise again he has to set his face towards it and choose to follow it.
I imagine Jesus conflicted by all of these thoughts and concerns surrounded by his friends and disciples yet alone in really knowing what all of this means for him and for them. His disciples talking and eating, maybe not fully aware of the turmoil Jesus is going through. But the woman...Mary, who sat at Jesus feet...
Mary sees him. Really sees him. Understands what is happening and the most loving gesture she can make is to take a beautiful jar of expensive perfume and pour it over his head. It is a gesture of love, empathy, understanding and devotion. It is a selfless act to acknowledge what Jesus is experiencing.
The disciples see waste - Jesus sees understanding and concern. The disciples measure the act in terms of it's monetary worth - Jesus measures the act in terms of its self giving. She has honoured him and he reflects honour back to her. "...throughout the world, this woman's deed will be remembered and discussed"
By anointing him in this way she is proclaiming him to be the King. The Christ. Hebrew kings were not crowned, they were anointed and the fragrance acted like a crown on their heads, giving an aroma of the holy. That smell of the anointing perfume would remain on Jesus over the coming days, Gethsemane, Caiaphas' house, before the Sanhedrin, Herod's palace, the Praetorium, the cross. The aroma clung to him proclaiming, wherever he went, that he is the Messiah; the Holy One of God.
Thursday 29 April 2010
The Lost Son and the Seeking Father
Easter was a bit odd for me. I knew that I was still finishing off the second "week" of the Spiritual Exercises so was still meditating on aspects of Jesus public ministry and knew that I would be coming back to pray with Jesus passion and death in the third "week" which would be a few weeks after Holy Week.
And so for the past few weeks I was left hanging with that thought "Let's not let Jesus do this on his own", as I continued to contemplate Jesus ministry, the increasing hostility of the religious rulers, leading inexorably towards his passion. Now I am officially moving into the third"week" I don't want to lose some of the insights I've had in the second week where the grace I have been seeking is to "See Jesus more clearly, love him more dearly and follow him more nearly.
In the first "week" when I was considering "sin" and how it would feel to be utterly disconnected from God, I sat with this passage for some time. I imagined the son coming to his 'senses' - smelling the pigs, hearing his stomach growl with hunger, looking at the mud and the state he was in - and setting out.
I had shamed my father saying to him in effect, "I wish you were dead". I shamed him in front of the whole community and then when I got what I wanted I squandered it, the money that he had worked all his life for, without a single thought or concern except for my own desires. Then, finding myself starving, feeding pigs of all things, I realise that in my father's household servants are better off than I am. I set out on the long road home and while I'm far off.....................
............I am met by the most insignificant person in the household who says to me "Get lost! You're dead to us. You have dishonoured your family and shamed us in front of the community. You made a choice." And I am cast into complete destitution.
And I deserved this, I brought it on myself. The community would approve of the father's actions - he did the right thing. But I have lost connection with my true self - the self that I understand because I am my father's son, I am part of this community and my actions have excluded me from love and warmth, comfort and belonging.
The feelings sitting meditating on this passage in this way, was complete brokenness and loss. Grief at being separated from the Father.
As I prayed more recently, seeking to see Jesus more clearly, I returned to this passage and this time I imagined the son setting off; hesitating, doubting whether this was the best thing to do, stopping and considering turning around again, considering just giving up and dying. His feelings are shame and self loathing. How could I have done this thing, shaming my father in this way.
Then I see my father running - lifting up his robe and running - my father is shaming himself in front of the whole community. To lift up his robe and run is considered shameful in the culture and here my father is shaming himself in his absolutely reckless, loving desire to get to me.
His response to my shame is to shame himself; to take my shame from me by taking it on himself.
Jesus presents a new image of God; the Father who shames himself to get to us. Whose love has no limits, whose love is all generosity and compassion.
Jesus - the very image of God.
And so for the past few weeks I was left hanging with that thought "Let's not let Jesus do this on his own", as I continued to contemplate Jesus ministry, the increasing hostility of the religious rulers, leading inexorably towards his passion. Now I am officially moving into the third"week" I don't want to lose some of the insights I've had in the second week where the grace I have been seeking is to "See Jesus more clearly, love him more dearly and follow him more nearly.
In the first "week" when I was considering "sin" and how it would feel to be utterly disconnected from God, I sat with this passage for some time. I imagined the son coming to his 'senses' - smelling the pigs, hearing his stomach growl with hunger, looking at the mud and the state he was in - and setting out.
I had shamed my father saying to him in effect, "I wish you were dead". I shamed him in front of the whole community and then when I got what I wanted I squandered it, the money that he had worked all his life for, without a single thought or concern except for my own desires. Then, finding myself starving, feeding pigs of all things, I realise that in my father's household servants are better off than I am. I set out on the long road home and while I'm far off.....................
............I am met by the most insignificant person in the household who says to me "Get lost! You're dead to us. You have dishonoured your family and shamed us in front of the community. You made a choice." And I am cast into complete destitution.
And I deserved this, I brought it on myself. The community would approve of the father's actions - he did the right thing. But I have lost connection with my true self - the self that I understand because I am my father's son, I am part of this community and my actions have excluded me from love and warmth, comfort and belonging.
The feelings sitting meditating on this passage in this way, was complete brokenness and loss. Grief at being separated from the Father.
As I prayed more recently, seeking to see Jesus more clearly, I returned to this passage and this time I imagined the son setting off; hesitating, doubting whether this was the best thing to do, stopping and considering turning around again, considering just giving up and dying. His feelings are shame and self loathing. How could I have done this thing, shaming my father in this way.
Then I see my father running - lifting up his robe and running - my father is shaming himself in front of the whole community. To lift up his robe and run is considered shameful in the culture and here my father is shaming himself in his absolutely reckless, loving desire to get to me.
His response to my shame is to shame himself; to take my shame from me by taking it on himself.
Jesus presents a new image of God; the Father who shames himself to get to us. Whose love has no limits, whose love is all generosity and compassion.
Jesus - the very image of God.
Monday 29 March 2010
Holy Week
Don’t give up before Easter.
We have come so far
Don’t give up before we get there.
This is an ongoing story
We don’t say, ‘Goodbye and see you again next week.’
It’s not as simple as that.
Next week, none of us might be here
fickle as a crowd at Passover
This is the story everything moves towards:
stables and wildernesses, mountaintops and bedsides.
So far the gospels have simply been introductions;
introductions to this story of the cost of love.
Everything leads here.
Let us not let Jesus do this on his own.
Let us accompany him.
Let us be here as he faces the temple and the anointing,
the betrayer and the denier,
the bread and the wine.
Let us not let Jesus face these on his own.
It is the least we can do
in response to what Jesus does for us:
giving of himself,
completely.
So this service does not end today
but continues tomorrow and each day this week.
You cannot have Easter without the passion:
stones don’t roll unless the tomb is filled,
dawn doesn’t break unless the darkness rolls in,
resurrection doesn’t happen unless crucifixion is first.
You cannot know how to celebrate Easter
without first living the passion.
So let us journey with Jesus this week
Just as we expect him to be here for us
may we be there for him
to keep the faith alive.
May we hold on for him
when he has to let go
This is a journey of faith
may we have the hope to travel it.
Go now
come back soon
it has only just begun.
copyright Roddy Hamilton
We have come so far
Don’t give up before we get there.
This is an ongoing story
We don’t say, ‘Goodbye and see you again next week.’
It’s not as simple as that.
Next week, none of us might be here
fickle as a crowd at Passover
This is the story everything moves towards:
stables and wildernesses, mountaintops and bedsides.
So far the gospels have simply been introductions;
introductions to this story of the cost of love.
Everything leads here.
Let us not let Jesus do this on his own.
Let us accompany him.
Let us be here as he faces the temple and the anointing,
the betrayer and the denier,
the bread and the wine.
Let us not let Jesus face these on his own.
It is the least we can do
in response to what Jesus does for us:
giving of himself,
completely.
So this service does not end today
but continues tomorrow and each day this week.
You cannot have Easter without the passion:
stones don’t roll unless the tomb is filled,
dawn doesn’t break unless the darkness rolls in,
resurrection doesn’t happen unless crucifixion is first.
You cannot know how to celebrate Easter
without first living the passion.
So let us journey with Jesus this week
Just as we expect him to be here for us
may we be there for him
to keep the faith alive.
May we hold on for him
when he has to let go
This is a journey of faith
may we have the hope to travel it.
Go now
come back soon
it has only just begun.
copyright Roddy Hamilton
Tuesday 23 March 2010
"Who is this?"
Been spending more time with gospel narratives in my continuing quest to "see Jesus more clearly"; the passage where Jesus walks on the water (following on from my previous post) and when Jesus is asleep in the boat during the storm and the disciples are fearful.
It's an interesting thing but I've found on many occasions during my retreat, that as I pray with passages or themes that God "gifts" me with an experience of the thing I'm praying with. The really curious thing is that I often don't see it until I start to reflect back with my Spiritual Director (who I meet weekly - the exercises are a guided retreat), and it becomes blindingly obvious - in an "Ahh! that was what that was all about!" kind of a way.
I realised that on reflection, what had been a very difficult week on many fronts, was an experience of buffeting from many quarters. I was in a storm and so reflecting on what Jesus was doing during this time was very helpful.
What did I see?
Well I saw that if God appears asleep - it doesn't mean he doesn't care, it just means he's not worried.
But I was also conscious that God defies our easy characterisation of him. We try and resolve the "Who is this?" question by trying to impose some order on God. We try to contain him in some way. "It must be a ghost." Ghosts we understand, but a God who walks across a lake, through a storm, well that's a whole concept we can't seem to get our heads around. Because God is surprising, unexpected, uncontainable. When we try to impose restrictions on God we actually bind ourselves.
Jesus walks across the water, defies the disciples categories and then Peter... I love Peter - he dares to meet God in the storm; to meet God in the place of non-restriction; to meet the unbound God. He asks to come to Jesus in the storm, on the water, to come to where God is. Jesus says "Yes. Come!" I imagined at that point that there was joy from Jesus and maybe just a hint of relief. Someone wants to defy the easy categories and walk out to where I am; someone who is willing to take a chance, cast off the self imposed restrictions.
"Do not be afraid, take courage. I am here"
I sat on the bus travelling to Glasgow (again) and gazing out at the blue, blue sky; lifted my eyes to the hills and saw the snow shining in the sun, the trees almost ready to come to life - the tiniest buds forming; saw the geese flying across the sky; the dull green of the grass almost ready to shake off the restrictions of winter; felt the warmth through the window. And suddenly I was longing to be out in it, just like Peter, didn't want to be confined by the bus, to be gazing out from behind the glass. Longed to be in the midst of it - in the storm, where the life is.
And I heard Jesus shouting over the wind and the waves "Yes. Come!"
"Who is this?" is not a question I answer once - it is the journey.
It's an interesting thing but I've found on many occasions during my retreat, that as I pray with passages or themes that God "gifts" me with an experience of the thing I'm praying with. The really curious thing is that I often don't see it until I start to reflect back with my Spiritual Director (who I meet weekly - the exercises are a guided retreat), and it becomes blindingly obvious - in an "Ahh! that was what that was all about!" kind of a way.
I realised that on reflection, what had been a very difficult week on many fronts, was an experience of buffeting from many quarters. I was in a storm and so reflecting on what Jesus was doing during this time was very helpful.
What did I see?
Well I saw that if God appears asleep - it doesn't mean he doesn't care, it just means he's not worried.
But I was also conscious that God defies our easy characterisation of him. We try and resolve the "Who is this?" question by trying to impose some order on God. We try to contain him in some way. "It must be a ghost." Ghosts we understand, but a God who walks across a lake, through a storm, well that's a whole concept we can't seem to get our heads around. Because God is surprising, unexpected, uncontainable. When we try to impose restrictions on God we actually bind ourselves.
Jesus walks across the water, defies the disciples categories and then Peter... I love Peter - he dares to meet God in the storm; to meet God in the place of non-restriction; to meet the unbound God. He asks to come to Jesus in the storm, on the water, to come to where God is. Jesus says "Yes. Come!" I imagined at that point that there was joy from Jesus and maybe just a hint of relief. Someone wants to defy the easy categories and walk out to where I am; someone who is willing to take a chance, cast off the self imposed restrictions.
"Do not be afraid, take courage. I am here"
I sat on the bus travelling to Glasgow (again) and gazing out at the blue, blue sky; lifted my eyes to the hills and saw the snow shining in the sun, the trees almost ready to come to life - the tiniest buds forming; saw the geese flying across the sky; the dull green of the grass almost ready to shake off the restrictions of winter; felt the warmth through the window. And suddenly I was longing to be out in it, just like Peter, didn't want to be confined by the bus, to be gazing out from behind the glass. Longed to be in the midst of it - in the storm, where the life is.
And I heard Jesus shouting over the wind and the waves "Yes. Come!"
"Who is this?" is not a question I answer once - it is the journey.
Friday 5 March 2010
Seeing Jesus More Clearly
The 'grace' that I am seeking in the second 'week' of the Exercises is the Ignatian prayer - that I might "See Jesus more clearly, love him more dearly and follow him more nearly". As usual Ignatius has real insight - to see Jesus more clearly is the thing that helps us to love him more, and as we love him more, then we seek to follow him more closely.
In practice this means that I have spent the past couple of months imaginatively contemplating passages from the gospels that show me Jesus. Last week I had a few passages that I was meditating on through the week, but one of them stayed with me and each time I came to pray, the images from this passage would come to me. They become like memories, powerful experiences of Jesus. The passage was Matthew 14.13-21 and I saw it in 3 parts.
Firstly - I was in a grove with Jesus and the disciples, we were eating and talking and laughing, it was hot but there was a breeze from the lake and the trees provided shade. We looked up and were being approached by some people, as they drew nearer we recognised them - they were friends, the disciples of John. Jesus and the others rose, greeting them with a kiss and inviting them to sit.
They told us that John was dead.
They began to tell us how it happened - Herod's boastful promise, that he never expected to have to keep, but his bluff was called and it was more important to him to save face than do the right thing. John's disciples had just come from burying John and had come straight away to find Jesus.
I watched Jesus face. What was he feeling?
Sorrow and grief - John and he were inextricable linked from before their births. Cousins, only 6 months apart; both with miraculous conceptions. John, who Jesus grew up with as a boy travelling together to Jerusalem for Passover; John who Jesus publicly aligned himself to in his baptism at the beginning of his ministry; John who he spoke warmly of and defended; weeping over Jerusalem because they killed the prophets; encouraging John in his imprisonment - the blind see and the lame walk. John the prophet to his Messiah.
Anger - that John should die in so pointless a way - for the vanity of a man who was corrupt and weak.
And something else - Jesus realising that this went further because it fore-shadowed something that he knew he would face one day soon.
"As soon as he heard, he left in a boat for a remote place, to be alone"
Jesus weighed down by sorrow, anger and a sense of his own life coming to an end - looks for a place to be alone, to pray.
Secondly - Yet when he gets there he is confronted by crowds of people. What is his reaction? He wants to be in a remote place because he needs time to grieve, to reflect and to come to terms with his cousin's death. What is his reaction?
He has compassion on them.
Not only does he feel compassion - he embodies compassion by healing their sick; by staying with them until evening; by feeding them rather than sending them away hungry. He demonstrates his care for his disciples - making sure they get into the boat to cross the lake; and then waiting himself to send the people home.
In his grief, in his anger, in his turmoil he puts the needs of others before his own. He doesn't count equality with God something to be grasped, he humbles himself. He is not among us as someone who is served but comes to serve. Jesus, the very image of God, embodies radical, costly love.
Thirdly - I stayed with him on the shore as the darkness gathered and the stars appeared and the last of the people made their way home. A breeze was beginning to spring up - quite softly. He stands alone, looks out over the lake and sees the boat with his disciples getting smaller as it moves away from him. Only then he turns and begins to climb. When he has climbed some way up the hill, he sits down. He is alone. He thinks about John, allows himself to dwell on his memories; he turns his face to the Father and the Holy Spirit and lays himself bare. He knows what he has to face and it comes to him - full force - he knows where this is leading. He stays with this and takes comfort from the Godhead - loses himself in that relationship; the love and community within God. And stays there until eventually the wind begins to whip at his clothing. Then he looks out and sees the boat being tossed on the rising waves.
Jesus rises and pulls his head covering around him and makes his way down the hillside towards the lake. A storm is rising; he sets his face and walks into it.
In practice this means that I have spent the past couple of months imaginatively contemplating passages from the gospels that show me Jesus. Last week I had a few passages that I was meditating on through the week, but one of them stayed with me and each time I came to pray, the images from this passage would come to me. They become like memories, powerful experiences of Jesus. The passage was Matthew 14.13-21 and I saw it in 3 parts.
Firstly - I was in a grove with Jesus and the disciples, we were eating and talking and laughing, it was hot but there was a breeze from the lake and the trees provided shade. We looked up and were being approached by some people, as they drew nearer we recognised them - they were friends, the disciples of John. Jesus and the others rose, greeting them with a kiss and inviting them to sit.
They told us that John was dead.
They began to tell us how it happened - Herod's boastful promise, that he never expected to have to keep, but his bluff was called and it was more important to him to save face than do the right thing. John's disciples had just come from burying John and had come straight away to find Jesus.
I watched Jesus face. What was he feeling?
Sorrow and grief - John and he were inextricable linked from before their births. Cousins, only 6 months apart; both with miraculous conceptions. John, who Jesus grew up with as a boy travelling together to Jerusalem for Passover; John who Jesus publicly aligned himself to in his baptism at the beginning of his ministry; John who he spoke warmly of and defended; weeping over Jerusalem because they killed the prophets; encouraging John in his imprisonment - the blind see and the lame walk. John the prophet to his Messiah.
Anger - that John should die in so pointless a way - for the vanity of a man who was corrupt and weak.
And something else - Jesus realising that this went further because it fore-shadowed something that he knew he would face one day soon.
"As soon as he heard, he left in a boat for a remote place, to be alone"
Jesus weighed down by sorrow, anger and a sense of his own life coming to an end - looks for a place to be alone, to pray.
Secondly - Yet when he gets there he is confronted by crowds of people. What is his reaction? He wants to be in a remote place because he needs time to grieve, to reflect and to come to terms with his cousin's death. What is his reaction?
He has compassion on them.
Not only does he feel compassion - he embodies compassion by healing their sick; by staying with them until evening; by feeding them rather than sending them away hungry. He demonstrates his care for his disciples - making sure they get into the boat to cross the lake; and then waiting himself to send the people home.
In his grief, in his anger, in his turmoil he puts the needs of others before his own. He doesn't count equality with God something to be grasped, he humbles himself. He is not among us as someone who is served but comes to serve. Jesus, the very image of God, embodies radical, costly love.
Thirdly - I stayed with him on the shore as the darkness gathered and the stars appeared and the last of the people made their way home. A breeze was beginning to spring up - quite softly. He stands alone, looks out over the lake and sees the boat with his disciples getting smaller as it moves away from him. Only then he turns and begins to climb. When he has climbed some way up the hill, he sits down. He is alone. He thinks about John, allows himself to dwell on his memories; he turns his face to the Father and the Holy Spirit and lays himself bare. He knows what he has to face and it comes to him - full force - he knows where this is leading. He stays with this and takes comfort from the Godhead - loses himself in that relationship; the love and community within God. And stays there until eventually the wind begins to whip at his clothing. Then he looks out and sees the boat being tossed on the rising waves.
Jesus rises and pulls his head covering around him and makes his way down the hillside towards the lake. A storm is rising; he sets his face and walks into it.
Monday 15 February 2010
"Cogito, ergo sum"
I sometimes think that Descartes was responsible for a lot of the evil in the world - I don't believe he intentionally put us on this path, but I do believe that he set something in motion a few hundred years ago which has resulted in the all pervasive notion in the West that the individual is at the centre of everything. (actually I think that personal computers and mobile phones are a direct consequence of Descartes!); he was very much a man of faith, schooled by the Jesuits, (the order founded by St Ignatius) - but the statement "I think, therefore I am" has pervaded our western culture and sensibilities to such an extent that we have exalted the individual above all, to the detriment of seeing ourselves more widely connected and responsible as part of a larger "community".
Reading the gospels I'm ever more aware of the cultural differences between ourselves today in the west and the experience of Jesus in the middle east at the beginning of the 1st century. We've lost something of what it is like to live in community to be aware of "the other".
Reflecting more on my last post about what we can do to live in a way that is much more concerned for and orientated towards others, I came across a story related by Mother Teresa;
"I will never forget the night an old gentleman came to our house and said that there was a family with 8 children and they had not eaten, and could we do something for them? So I took some rice and went there. The mother took the rice from my hands and then divided it into 2 and went out. I could see the faces of the children shining with hunger.When she came back I asked her where she had gone. She gave me a very simple answer: "They are hungry also". And "they" were the family next door and she knew they were hungry. I was not surprised that she gave, but I was surprised that she knew...I had not the courage to ask her how long her family hadn't eaten, but I was sure it must have been a long time, and yet she knew - in her suffering...In her terrible bodily suffering, she knew that next door they were hungry also."
The African theologian replies to Descartes - "I am, because we are."
Jesus taught us to pray "Give us this day our daily bread" - the prayer is for our bread, it includes our neighbours.
Kenneth E Bailey writes;
"Bread is a gift. the one who prays this prayer affirms that all bread comes as a gift. It is not a right and we have not created it. Such gifts are in trust for the one who gives them. All material possessions are on loan from their owner; the God who created matter itself. This perspective on the material world is critical for the joyful life commended in the gospels."
Reading the gospels I'm ever more aware of the cultural differences between ourselves today in the west and the experience of Jesus in the middle east at the beginning of the 1st century. We've lost something of what it is like to live in community to be aware of "the other".
Reflecting more on my last post about what we can do to live in a way that is much more concerned for and orientated towards others, I came across a story related by Mother Teresa;
"I will never forget the night an old gentleman came to our house and said that there was a family with 8 children and they had not eaten, and could we do something for them? So I took some rice and went there. The mother took the rice from my hands and then divided it into 2 and went out. I could see the faces of the children shining with hunger.When she came back I asked her where she had gone. She gave me a very simple answer: "They are hungry also". And "they" were the family next door and she knew they were hungry. I was not surprised that she gave, but I was surprised that she knew...I had not the courage to ask her how long her family hadn't eaten, but I was sure it must have been a long time, and yet she knew - in her suffering...In her terrible bodily suffering, she knew that next door they were hungry also."
The African theologian replies to Descartes - "I am, because we are."
Jesus taught us to pray "Give us this day our daily bread" - the prayer is for our bread, it includes our neighbours.
Kenneth E Bailey writes;
"Bread is a gift. the one who prays this prayer affirms that all bread comes as a gift. It is not a right and we have not created it. Such gifts are in trust for the one who gives them. All material possessions are on loan from their owner; the God who created matter itself. This perspective on the material world is critical for the joyful life commended in the gospels."
Tuesday 2 February 2010
Imaginative Contemplation
One of the features of Ignatian spirituality is imaginative contemplation. To use the imagination in contemplating scripture is to turn the stories of Jesus into an experience. It is about the "application of the senses" to a passage. By picturing our self in the scene and by listening and looking we find ourselves touched and changed from the encounter.
It's not that we let our imaginations run wild, but rather we enter into the passage with the guidance of the Holy Spirit and allow him to speak to us and show us something new or surprising; something which speaks to our heart or emotions. I find this a challenge as I'm very drawn to the cerebral - to thinking and using my mind, to applying my intellect. But Ignatius encourages us to allow God to speak to us in our inner most being. The journey is an interior one.
One of the passages I was meditating on a few weeks ago was the passage where Joseph is warned in the middle of the night to get up and take the child and his mother and flee. To feel the emotion of the situation, to enter into the fear, to the sense of having to leave everything in the dark of the night and flee for your life and the life of your child; to go to a strange land. And to then to enter into the passages about the children being slaughtered, the horror, the anguish, the grief, the disbelief; Joseph's fear on returning from Egypt, to learn that the land was now ruled by the son of the man who was seeking to murder your child.
The feelings have stayed with me for these past weeks - it's almost as if there is a residue.
I was thinking about the fact that in many, many places in the world people live like this all the time. They have no security, they are fearful for their children, they live in countries where the government is corrupt and their lives are insecure, not knowing what will happen next, displaced and hopeless.
And I was reading psalm 147 which says
And I am so conscious of how blessed we are in this country. We might moan about the weather, or the rubbish on telly, or the the traffic driving to work. But we really don't understand how blessed we are. We are secure, well fed, our children are educated and have so many opportunities; and most of the time we are not even conscious of it.
How do we Christians in the West live in a way that really makes a difference to the poor and displaced and fearful and that also fully comprehends how incredibly blessed we are?
It's not that we let our imaginations run wild, but rather we enter into the passage with the guidance of the Holy Spirit and allow him to speak to us and show us something new or surprising; something which speaks to our heart or emotions. I find this a challenge as I'm very drawn to the cerebral - to thinking and using my mind, to applying my intellect. But Ignatius encourages us to allow God to speak to us in our inner most being. The journey is an interior one.
One of the passages I was meditating on a few weeks ago was the passage where Joseph is warned in the middle of the night to get up and take the child and his mother and flee. To feel the emotion of the situation, to enter into the fear, to the sense of having to leave everything in the dark of the night and flee for your life and the life of your child; to go to a strange land. And to then to enter into the passages about the children being slaughtered, the horror, the anguish, the grief, the disbelief; Joseph's fear on returning from Egypt, to learn that the land was now ruled by the son of the man who was seeking to murder your child.
The feelings have stayed with me for these past weeks - it's almost as if there is a residue.
I was thinking about the fact that in many, many places in the world people live like this all the time. They have no security, they are fearful for their children, they live in countries where the government is corrupt and their lives are insecure, not knowing what will happen next, displaced and hopeless.
And I was reading psalm 147 which says
He has made your city secure,
He blessed your children among you,
He keeps peace at your borders;
He puts the best bread on your tables.
And I am so conscious of how blessed we are in this country. We might moan about the weather, or the rubbish on telly, or the the traffic driving to work. But we really don't understand how blessed we are. We are secure, well fed, our children are educated and have so many opportunities; and most of the time we are not even conscious of it.
How do we Christians in the West live in a way that really makes a difference to the poor and displaced and fearful and that also fully comprehends how incredibly blessed we are?
Saturday 2 January 2010
The Reversal of God
First blog of the new year - so Happy New Year! Think this will be a year full of possibilities, promises fulfilled, deeper places in God and radical change in the church! - I'm hoping.
I know new year tends to thunk right in the middle of the Christmas season (maybe more so in Scotland), but my contemplation in the second 'week' of the exercises is around the Christmas narratives. This past week I have been looking particularly at the shepherds and the wise men.
The thing that really stood out for me in the shepherds' story is this vast array of heaven's army appearing in the sky to the poor (in every sense of the word) shepherds - the glory of the Lord surrounding them, the terrified reaction; the pronouncement of the angel that the Lord, the Saviour, the Messiah has tonight appeared and that this will bring great joy to all people. What is the sign? Is it that a vast army has been assembled to bring freedom from Roman oppression, crucifixion and the burden of taxation and set the Jewish people free at last? That some great spiritual teacher has appeared among the Pharisees? or a new radical High Priest has taken over at the temple? Perhaps the nationalistic God that is portrayed in some of the narratives in the Hebrew scriptures has appeared to smite Judea's enemies; or a mighty prophet has arisen bringing God's pronouncements? What is the sign...........?
................."You'll find him wrapped snugly"
Eh?
The Great Reversal.
The God who comes in weakness and powerlessness - the God who is wrapped snugly - who comes to the weak and outcast and humble and ordinary and powerless and seemingly inconsequential and is received with joy, wonder and rejoicing.
When the wise men appear in Jerusalem among the rich, the important and the powerful, the people of consequence and authority - the news "deeply disturbs" them.
And Jesus ministry as it progresses brings even more comfort to the poor and even less comfort to the powerful.
The reversal - the anarchic God; the God of the unexpected. Wrapped Snugly!
This years conundrum - How do I embody the reversal of God?
I know new year tends to thunk right in the middle of the Christmas season (maybe more so in Scotland), but my contemplation in the second 'week' of the exercises is around the Christmas narratives. This past week I have been looking particularly at the shepherds and the wise men.
The thing that really stood out for me in the shepherds' story is this vast array of heaven's army appearing in the sky to the poor (in every sense of the word) shepherds - the glory of the Lord surrounding them, the terrified reaction; the pronouncement of the angel that the Lord, the Saviour, the Messiah has tonight appeared and that this will bring great joy to all people. What is the sign? Is it that a vast army has been assembled to bring freedom from Roman oppression, crucifixion and the burden of taxation and set the Jewish people free at last? That some great spiritual teacher has appeared among the Pharisees? or a new radical High Priest has taken over at the temple? Perhaps the nationalistic God that is portrayed in some of the narratives in the Hebrew scriptures has appeared to smite Judea's enemies; or a mighty prophet has arisen bringing God's pronouncements? What is the sign...........?
................."You'll find him wrapped snugly"
Eh?
The Great Reversal.
The God who comes in weakness and powerlessness - the God who is wrapped snugly - who comes to the weak and outcast and humble and ordinary and powerless and seemingly inconsequential and is received with joy, wonder and rejoicing.
When the wise men appear in Jerusalem among the rich, the important and the powerful, the people of consequence and authority - the news "deeply disturbs" them.
And Jesus ministry as it progresses brings even more comfort to the poor and even less comfort to the powerful.
The reversal - the anarchic God; the God of the unexpected. Wrapped Snugly!
This years conundrum - How do I embody the reversal of God?
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