Jesus is dead
What to feel? Exhaustion, numbness, unreality, unbelief, this is a bad dream I can't wake up from. What did it all mean? What was it all for in the end? Maybe. Maybe if he hadn't been so outspoken, so confrontational. Maybe there was a different way to get his message across? If only. How could he leave us like that. What will we face now? Hope. Did he not say..What did he mean? Hope? Crashing reality. I really saw him die. He really is dead. The soldiers proved it beyond a shadow of doubt.
The women huddled together as the spear pierced him. They know he is dead. They huddle together in their grief. His body is taken down - they can't help it - they go and touch him, his mother touching his cheek as each of them makes themselves unclean. They follow the men who have wrapped the body in cloth. They see the new tomb nearby, never used. They see him laid inside.
They weep and make the journey back to Bethany. Only a short while ago eating a meal together. Reminded that Mary really did anoint him for burial. Waking next day with a sudden realisation. It's all true - it's not a dream. Jesus is dead. Passing the Sabbath together.
Then a great big white screen and peace. Gazing up into the vastness of heaven and a cloth with a body wrapped in it glowing like a transfiguration.
Saturday, 19 June 2010
Reflection #7
My God, My God why have you abandoned me?
He is in agony. Pain radiating through his body. Very difficult to focus on anything but this pain. Locked in the moment, hyper-aware. You can't go anywhere. You can't escape the pain. Caught up in it. All encompassing. Jesus holds onto God by his fingertips. Separated by a gulf of pain from his disciples and friends. He is alone and becomes increasingly aware of this. No-one can go through this with him. His whole focus is on the agony, alone in his suffering. He tries to hold onto God. Tries to fight the thoughts closing in on him. Tries to stay focused outwards. Darkness falls. Three hours struggling. His head drooping forward. Turmoil inside.
He loves his enemies. His righteousness exceeds that of the Scribes and Pharisees. He is rich and became poor. He offers his other cheek to be slapped. He forgives those who sin against him. He serves one master. He goes a second mile. He is pure in heart, only willing one thing - to do the will of the Father. He faces down evil with incredible costly love.
He hangs there in the face of indifference. He experiences everything but the one thing which is at the extreme of human experience. To be abandoned by God.
At 3 o' clock Jesus cries out in a loud voice - Why? Why? Why Abandoned?
God "in extremis". God hangs there in the face of evil, hypocrisy, indifference and everything wrong in the whole of creation. He also hangs there in the face of losing God. God abandoned by God.
It's a place beyond our comprehension. The moment when Jesus comes to the end of all he is. He is beyond. Off the map.
I don't know how the Trinity worked while Jesus was human, but in this place, Jesus feels himself utterly alone. A being who has lived in community all of his eternal existence. Abandoned. The community of the Godhead totally disrupted, Father and Spirit.
Did he need to go that extreme? It feels to me like he did. He needed to experience this ultimate place beyond God. And I am struck again by his love even in the face of complete mystery and unknowing.
Jesus shouted out again and released his spirit.
He is in agony. Pain radiating through his body. Very difficult to focus on anything but this pain. Locked in the moment, hyper-aware. You can't go anywhere. You can't escape the pain. Caught up in it. All encompassing. Jesus holds onto God by his fingertips. Separated by a gulf of pain from his disciples and friends. He is alone and becomes increasingly aware of this. No-one can go through this with him. His whole focus is on the agony, alone in his suffering. He tries to hold onto God. Tries to fight the thoughts closing in on him. Tries to stay focused outwards. Darkness falls. Three hours struggling. His head drooping forward. Turmoil inside.
He loves his enemies. His righteousness exceeds that of the Scribes and Pharisees. He is rich and became poor. He offers his other cheek to be slapped. He forgives those who sin against him. He serves one master. He goes a second mile. He is pure in heart, only willing one thing - to do the will of the Father. He faces down evil with incredible costly love.
He hangs there in the face of indifference. He experiences everything but the one thing which is at the extreme of human experience. To be abandoned by God.
At 3 o' clock Jesus cries out in a loud voice - Why? Why? Why Abandoned?
God "in extremis". God hangs there in the face of evil, hypocrisy, indifference and everything wrong in the whole of creation. He also hangs there in the face of losing God. God abandoned by God.
It's a place beyond our comprehension. The moment when Jesus comes to the end of all he is. He is beyond. Off the map.
I don't know how the Trinity worked while Jesus was human, but in this place, Jesus feels himself utterly alone. A being who has lived in community all of his eternal existence. Abandoned. The community of the Godhead totally disrupted, Father and Spirit.
Did he need to go that extreme? It feels to me like he did. He needed to experience this ultimate place beyond God. And I am struck again by his love even in the face of complete mystery and unknowing.
Jesus shouted out again and released his spirit.
Reflection #6
They sat around
That's the verse that really got me.
"They gambled for his clothes by throwing dice, then they sat around and kept guard as he hung there."
It's hard to know what to say to that apart from to weep.
"They sat around...as he hung there"
While God died painfully and horribly. While God was stretching and reaching. While God is suffering and dying, slowly.
What does God do in the face of such indifference? Unconcern? They are not looking up; they are focused on themselves; attending to their everyday stuff. Business as usual. What does God do in the face of such indifference? He hangs there.
It's not the out and out hostility that gets me. Atheists don't bother me. They are at least talking about God even if they are not thinking. But those who sit around...
That's the verse that really got me.
"They gambled for his clothes by throwing dice, then they sat around and kept guard as he hung there."
It's hard to know what to say to that apart from to weep.
"They sat around...as he hung there"
While God died painfully and horribly. While God was stretching and reaching. While God is suffering and dying, slowly.
What does God do in the face of such indifference? Unconcern? They are not looking up; they are focused on themselves; attending to their everyday stuff. Business as usual. What does God do in the face of such indifference? He hangs there.
It's not the out and out hostility that gets me. Atheists don't bother me. They are at least talking about God even if they are not thinking. But those who sit around...
Reflection #5
Jesus and the Soldiers
Jesus was handed over to the soldiers after his back has been ripped by the lead tipped whip.
Roman soldiers I imagine were a pretty bloody lot. They worked on behalf of an Empire that was ruthless; mired in ugly and graphic violence of every kind. I imagine they have seen and committed all kinds of violent and barbaric acts. They don't care about Jesus. He epitomises everything they hate about this riotous and rebellious nation they have been posted to. Another messiah. Another insurrection to put down. They are all about oppression and humiliation and displays of power. But mostly - humiliation.
The soldiers gather around and undress him. They pull off his clothes. Humiliation. Put a red cloak on him. I imagine a red travelling cloak of one of the Soldiers. The kind they wrap themselves in to sleep. I imagine the smell; the rough texture; the dust; the vivid colour; the feel of it on ripped and bleeding skin. Here's a crown. Push and twist it on his head. Here's a sceptre. They grab and strike him with it. Humiliation. Spit on him. Humiliation. Then pull the cloak off him and push his clothes back on him.
See how powerful we are. We're in charge. We Romans - King?! Hardly.
They stripped and humiliated him. But Jesus had already stripped and humiliated himself. He had already taken off his robe voluntarily; because all authority over everything had been given to him. SO. He had already shamed himself in the act of washing feet. They had no power to humble him. He had chosen to humble himself. He had taken the initiative. They didn't take anything from Jesus that he had not already given up of his own accord.
They didn't grasp that. Jesus had all the power. They hadn't realised because it wasn't the kind of power they expected. Jesus weakness, his humiliation, was his power.
Jesus was handed over to the soldiers after his back has been ripped by the lead tipped whip.
Roman soldiers I imagine were a pretty bloody lot. They worked on behalf of an Empire that was ruthless; mired in ugly and graphic violence of every kind. I imagine they have seen and committed all kinds of violent and barbaric acts. They don't care about Jesus. He epitomises everything they hate about this riotous and rebellious nation they have been posted to. Another messiah. Another insurrection to put down. They are all about oppression and humiliation and displays of power. But mostly - humiliation.
The soldiers gather around and undress him. They pull off his clothes. Humiliation. Put a red cloak on him. I imagine a red travelling cloak of one of the Soldiers. The kind they wrap themselves in to sleep. I imagine the smell; the rough texture; the dust; the vivid colour; the feel of it on ripped and bleeding skin. Here's a crown. Push and twist it on his head. Here's a sceptre. They grab and strike him with it. Humiliation. Spit on him. Humiliation. Then pull the cloak off him and push his clothes back on him.
See how powerful we are. We're in charge. We Romans - King?! Hardly.
They stripped and humiliated him. But Jesus had already stripped and humiliated himself. He had already taken off his robe voluntarily; because all authority over everything had been given to him. SO. He had already shamed himself in the act of washing feet. They had no power to humble him. He had chosen to humble himself. He had taken the initiative. They didn't take anything from Jesus that he had not already given up of his own accord.
They didn't grasp that. Jesus had all the power. They hadn't realised because it wasn't the kind of power they expected. Jesus weakness, his humiliation, was his power.
Reflection #4
Jesus, the Son of Man (Mark & Daniel)
Jesus is taken to the High Priest's home
The Son of Man comes up in the clouds of heaven
Jesus is led before the council
The Son of Man is led into the presence of the Ancient One
They spat on him
He is given authority
They blindfolded him
He is given honour
They beat him with their fists
He is given sovereignty over all the nations of the world
They mocked him
People of every race, nation, language obey him
They slapped him
His rule is eternal it will never end
They took him away
His kingdom will never be destroyed
"Are you the Messiah, the Son of the Blessed One?"
"I AM. And you will see the Son of Man seated in the place of power at God's right hand and coming on the clouds of heaven"
Jesus is taken to the High Priest's home
The Son of Man comes up in the clouds of heaven
Jesus is led before the council
The Son of Man is led into the presence of the Ancient One
They spat on him
He is given authority
They blindfolded him
He is given honour
They beat him with their fists
He is given sovereignty over all the nations of the world
They mocked him
People of every race, nation, language obey him
They slapped him
His rule is eternal it will never end
They took him away
His kingdom will never be destroyed
"Are you the Messiah, the Son of the Blessed One?"
"I AM. And you will see the Son of Man seated in the place of power at God's right hand and coming on the clouds of heaven"
Reflection #3
Before Annas, Ciaphas, the Sanhedrin, Pilate and Herod
Jesus was led about a lot once he was arrested. He was tied up and ushered in front of different people. It struck me that when he later says to Peter "When you were young you were able to do as you liked...you went wherever you wanted to go, but when you are old..others will take you where you don't want to go", he was speaking from the heart; to lose your liberty, to no longer be independent, but to be forced by others, to do what you don't want to. Jesus had experienced that very thing. He had been compelled to stand in front of all these men.
And as I pictured scene after scene where Jesus is led into the presence of these people it struck me how much they would want to display their power. They would be there in their robes of office, seated on their thrones or whatever the equivalent thing was, surrounded by servants, all the trappings of power and privilege and authority. They would want him to see how important they were, how what they said went. How dare he, who does he think he is unsettling their rules and structures. Overturning their tables. Questioning the things that they had decreed. We'll show him who knows best.
And as I looked I became aware of Jesus beginning to grow in stature. He grew and grew and grew until I could see the universe contained in him, stars and planets and galaxies. Annas became smaller and smaller until he resembled a "grasshopper". I heard God's words to Job
"Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Who determined its dimensions and stretched out the surveying line? What supports its foundations and who laid its cornerstone as the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?...Have you ever commanded the morning to appear and caused the dawn to rise in the east?...Can you direct the movement of the stars - binding the cluster of Pleiades or loosening the cords of Orion?...Do you know the laws of the universe? Can you use them to regulate the earth?"
All authority over everything has been given to me.
But Jesus opened not his mouth.
Jesus was led about a lot once he was arrested. He was tied up and ushered in front of different people. It struck me that when he later says to Peter "When you were young you were able to do as you liked...you went wherever you wanted to go, but when you are old..others will take you where you don't want to go", he was speaking from the heart; to lose your liberty, to no longer be independent, but to be forced by others, to do what you don't want to. Jesus had experienced that very thing. He had been compelled to stand in front of all these men.
And as I pictured scene after scene where Jesus is led into the presence of these people it struck me how much they would want to display their power. They would be there in their robes of office, seated on their thrones or whatever the equivalent thing was, surrounded by servants, all the trappings of power and privilege and authority. They would want him to see how important they were, how what they said went. How dare he, who does he think he is unsettling their rules and structures. Overturning their tables. Questioning the things that they had decreed. We'll show him who knows best.
And as I looked I became aware of Jesus beginning to grow in stature. He grew and grew and grew until I could see the universe contained in him, stars and planets and galaxies. Annas became smaller and smaller until he resembled a "grasshopper". I heard God's words to Job
"Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Who determined its dimensions and stretched out the surveying line? What supports its foundations and who laid its cornerstone as the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?...Have you ever commanded the morning to appear and caused the dawn to rise in the east?...Can you direct the movement of the stars - binding the cluster of Pleiades or loosening the cords of Orion?...Do you know the laws of the universe? Can you use them to regulate the earth?"
All authority over everything has been given to me.
But Jesus opened not his mouth.
Saturday, 12 June 2010
Reflection #2
Jesus washes the disciples feet
"Jesus knew he had come from God and was returning to God and that authority over everything had been given to him ... so..."
It's such a small word isn't it ...so... Logically what follows this word should almost be self evident from the previous statement but it isn't - it really isn't at all.
John doesn't write about the body and blood statements Jesus made at the last meal they had together, he tells a remarkable story instead.
Disciples' relationship with their Rabbi was like a slave and a master. The disciple learned from the Master by serving him. We know that the disciples made the preparation for Passover; they were sent into villages to buy food for the group; they took turns to serve. The Babylonian Talmud tells us that "all acts a slave performs for his master, the disciple performs for his Rabbi, ...except untying the sandal."
Feet were considered unclean. Washing them was demeaning. Shameful. Humiliating. Only slaves would do it. Even Jewish male servants wouldn't do it. It could, however, be allocated to women, children or Gentiles.
For a master to belt his robe was unthinkable. Only lower class servants and slaves belt their robes. To belt your robe was to indicate that you were going to become a servant.
He had been given authority over everything ....That means he had been given authority over everything... SO
He got up. He took off his robe. He wrapped a towel around his waist. He poured water into basin. He began washing the disciples feet. He dried them with the towel he had around him.
We some times say - what is the cultural equivalent? It's offering someone a cup of tea or coffee when they come to our house
No it isn't. It's the cultural equivalent of the queen giving up all she has, moving out of Buckingham Palace into a council estate in Possil and spending the rest of her life serving the community there in what ever capacity she can. It's the cultural equivalent of David Cameron walking out of Downing Street and becoming a community activist in Toxteth. And then it's more radical even than that. Because this is GOD.
Jesus sat down and asked;
"Do you understand what I was doing...?"
"Jesus knew he had come from God and was returning to God and that authority over everything had been given to him ... so..."
It's such a small word isn't it ...so... Logically what follows this word should almost be self evident from the previous statement but it isn't - it really isn't at all.
John doesn't write about the body and blood statements Jesus made at the last meal they had together, he tells a remarkable story instead.
Disciples' relationship with their Rabbi was like a slave and a master. The disciple learned from the Master by serving him. We know that the disciples made the preparation for Passover; they were sent into villages to buy food for the group; they took turns to serve. The Babylonian Talmud tells us that "all acts a slave performs for his master, the disciple performs for his Rabbi, ...except untying the sandal."
Feet were considered unclean. Washing them was demeaning. Shameful. Humiliating. Only slaves would do it. Even Jewish male servants wouldn't do it. It could, however, be allocated to women, children or Gentiles.
For a master to belt his robe was unthinkable. Only lower class servants and slaves belt their robes. To belt your robe was to indicate that you were going to become a servant.
He had been given authority over everything ....That means he had been given authority over everything... SO
He got up. He took off his robe. He wrapped a towel around his waist. He poured water into basin. He began washing the disciples feet. He dried them with the towel he had around him.
We some times say - what is the cultural equivalent? It's offering someone a cup of tea or coffee when they come to our house
No it isn't. It's the cultural equivalent of the queen giving up all she has, moving out of Buckingham Palace into a council estate in Possil and spending the rest of her life serving the community there in what ever capacity she can. It's the cultural equivalent of David Cameron walking out of Downing Street and becoming a community activist in Toxteth. And then it's more radical even than that. Because this is GOD.
Jesus sat down and asked;
"Do you understand what I was doing...?"
Thursday, 10 June 2010
Reflections on the Passion #1
I have to admit I've found it really difficult to blog recently. I think some of it is related to the focus of my prayer in the past weeks. Blogging about the Passion feels kind of out of sync with where we are in the year, but I also feel that when I'm praying God is very present and that he gifts me, out of his grace, insights and experiences that I find quite hard to articulate. As I've progressed through the exercises I feel that I've become less and less able to verbalise what it is that God is doing and showing me, but I have experienced it as full of incredible grace and generous love.
I thought that what I might do is share some little reflections on what has been moving me, I think, otherwise, that I might come to a complete halt on my blogging.
#1
Jesus anointed at Bethany
Jesus has just announced that he is about to die; one of his disciples is in the process of seeking to betray him; the religious leaders are desperately plotting to capture him and kill him secretly; Jesus knows what he has to say to his disciples the next day; he is in the home of a family he loves and he is having the second last meal of his life; he knows what his disciples and those who love him will face shortly; he has to live out this final act of his public ministry and then what ...? Jesus has to live this by faith even though he is God he is fully human. This is not a foregone conclusion although Jesus believes he will rise again he has to set his face towards it and choose to follow it.
I imagine Jesus conflicted by all of these thoughts and concerns surrounded by his friends and disciples yet alone in really knowing what all of this means for him and for them. His disciples talking and eating, maybe not fully aware of the turmoil Jesus is going through. But the woman...Mary, who sat at Jesus feet...
Mary sees him. Really sees him. Understands what is happening and the most loving gesture she can make is to take a beautiful jar of expensive perfume and pour it over his head. It is a gesture of love, empathy, understanding and devotion. It is a selfless act to acknowledge what Jesus is experiencing.
The disciples see waste - Jesus sees understanding and concern. The disciples measure the act in terms of it's monetary worth - Jesus measures the act in terms of its self giving. She has honoured him and he reflects honour back to her. "...throughout the world, this woman's deed will be remembered and discussed"
By anointing him in this way she is proclaiming him to be the King. The Christ. Hebrew kings were not crowned, they were anointed and the fragrance acted like a crown on their heads, giving an aroma of the holy. That smell of the anointing perfume would remain on Jesus over the coming days, Gethsemane, Caiaphas' house, before the Sanhedrin, Herod's palace, the Praetorium, the cross. The aroma clung to him proclaiming, wherever he went, that he is the Messiah; the Holy One of God.
I thought that what I might do is share some little reflections on what has been moving me, I think, otherwise, that I might come to a complete halt on my blogging.
#1
Jesus anointed at Bethany
Jesus has just announced that he is about to die; one of his disciples is in the process of seeking to betray him; the religious leaders are desperately plotting to capture him and kill him secretly; Jesus knows what he has to say to his disciples the next day; he is in the home of a family he loves and he is having the second last meal of his life; he knows what his disciples and those who love him will face shortly; he has to live out this final act of his public ministry and then what ...? Jesus has to live this by faith even though he is God he is fully human. This is not a foregone conclusion although Jesus believes he will rise again he has to set his face towards it and choose to follow it.
I imagine Jesus conflicted by all of these thoughts and concerns surrounded by his friends and disciples yet alone in really knowing what all of this means for him and for them. His disciples talking and eating, maybe not fully aware of the turmoil Jesus is going through. But the woman...Mary, who sat at Jesus feet...
Mary sees him. Really sees him. Understands what is happening and the most loving gesture she can make is to take a beautiful jar of expensive perfume and pour it over his head. It is a gesture of love, empathy, understanding and devotion. It is a selfless act to acknowledge what Jesus is experiencing.
The disciples see waste - Jesus sees understanding and concern. The disciples measure the act in terms of it's monetary worth - Jesus measures the act in terms of its self giving. She has honoured him and he reflects honour back to her. "...throughout the world, this woman's deed will be remembered and discussed"
By anointing him in this way she is proclaiming him to be the King. The Christ. Hebrew kings were not crowned, they were anointed and the fragrance acted like a crown on their heads, giving an aroma of the holy. That smell of the anointing perfume would remain on Jesus over the coming days, Gethsemane, Caiaphas' house, before the Sanhedrin, Herod's palace, the Praetorium, the cross. The aroma clung to him proclaiming, wherever he went, that he is the Messiah; the Holy One of God.
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